Memories Best Forgotten
by Eevil Hero
Summary: -Completed- No one in school likes Roxas. In fact, everyone seems to hate him, especially his older brother, Riku. But everything starts to change when a new girl comes to town...
1. Chapter 1

If there was one thing Roxas hated more than anything else, it was school. People _hated_ him there and he didn't even know why. Ok, so he was shy. Alright, maybe he was smart and the top in all his classes. And his older brother happened to be Riku Leonhart, the most beloved person in the entire world, or so it seemed. But just because they loved Riku didn't make them like Roxas.

People shoved him into lockers as they walked down the hall, knocked books out of his arms and made fun of him as he walked by. Sure it stung but the hurt he felt lessened over the years until he barely noticed it at all.

It was his junior year and Roxas was about ready to give up. He was still the best in all his classes but he was still nobody as far as everyone else was concerned. He had no friends, not since Hayner had moved away last year. He couldn't even eat in the lunch room anymore – people always threw food at him – so he spent his break outside on the low stone wall that surrounded the grounds. In other words, he was as far away from everyone else as he could possibly get.

He pulled his lunch out of the wrinkled brown bag that sat beside him and sighed. Someone had put mud in his sandwich again. He tossed it on the ground for the birds and shoved the rest of his lunch aside. He knew none of the other food would be any good.

He opened his book and tried to read to pass the time but it was no good. He closed it again and set it aside. He ran his fingers through his spiky blond hair and was just considering taking a walk around the grounds when someone tapped him on the shoulder. He flinched, his right arm going up automatically to shield his face. He normally would have used his left arm but it was wrapped from elbow to wrist in bandages.

"Whoa, are you alright? I'm not going to hurt you. You can put your arm down."

He did so but kept his face turned away. "Look I'm not doing anything to you so please leave me alone."

"I'm not here to bother you," she said.

"What do you want then?" He was genuinely surprised and looked over at her. She was his age, give or take, about five and a half feet tall with pale skin and short silvery hair that covered her left eye. She was thin but she looked strong. She smiled at him, her visible eye shining. She held something out to him. "Do you want this?"

He stared down at the thing in her hand then looked back up at her. "But…why…?"

She tilted her head to the side slightly. "I saw what happened to your lunch. Aren't you hungry?"

He nodded. "Thanks." He accepted the sandwich from her and started to eat, hardly caring what was in it though it turned out to be turkey and cheese, one of his favorites.

The girl climbed up onto the wall beside him, watching him eat, her smile still on her face. She suddenly thought of something. "Oh! I completely forgot! I'm Fujin. You can call me Fuu." She held out her hand. He hesitated then took it.

"I'm Roxas." They shook hands briefly then let go.

He finished the sandwich quickly and then turned to stare at her. She was watching the people walk by on the street just outside the grounds. Finally he spoke. "You must be new here…"

She laughed. "Yeah. My brother's inside talking to the Headmaster about enrolling me. I just had a meeting with him. Was it that obvious?" He was silent, not wanting to explain how he knew. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"Well, it's just that…no one ever talks to me so I figured you had to be new is all."

"Well there has to be _someone_ who talks to you," she said disbelievingly.

He shook his head. "The only friend I had moved summer before last." Then shrugged. "I'm used to it though."

She bit her bottom lip thoughtfully. Then she grinned. "Well then _I'll_ talk to you, ok?"

"Oh you don't want to do that," he told her only half sincerely.

"Oh yeah? And why's that?"

Before he got the chance to answer someone called out to him.

"Roxas! Hey, Roxas!" They both turned to see a silver haired boy running over to them. He stopped when he reached them. A group of people- his posse one could call them – were waiting right behind him. "Roxas, there you are."

Roxas rolled his eyes. "Yes. I'm always here Riku, you know that."

"So? Doesn't mean you might not be somewhere else. Look, tell mom I won't be home til late, ok? Some friends are having a party and since it's Friday she won't mind." His eyes fell on Fuu. "Who's this?"

She stood, looking up at him. "'This,' as you so rudely put it, is Fujin. Who are you?"

"Riku Hikaru."

"You must be Roxas' brother then?"

Riku was taken aback. How could someone know who Roxas was and _not_ know who he was? "Yeah…You, uh…you must be new here…"

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" she muttered. "And yes, I am."

"Oh, well…" he paused and then asked, "Well, I assume you heard there's going to be a party tonight?" She nodded. "Want to come?"

"So you'll invite a stranger and not him? What kind of a brother _are_ you?"

Roxas put a hand on her shoulder. "Look, Fuu, it's ok. No one would want me there anyway."

She shrugged him off. "Well I would," she shot back. She looked Riku straight in the face and said, "No, that's alright. I don't think I will."

Riku opened his mouth to protest when someone else interrupted their conversation.

"Fujin!" They turned to see a blond haired man in his early twenties wearing mostly black looking directly at her. He had blue eyes and skin only slightly tanner than Fuu's. He wore an earring and a red tie around his left arm. Riku's friends were staring at him, mouths agape. Riku and Roxas both felt their eyes widen. Roxas turned to stare at the girl.

"You know Cloud Strife?"

Fujin giggled.

"_The_ Cloud Strife?" Riku asked.

She grinned. "Of course I do silly. He's my big brother."

"Fujin!" Cloud called again. "Come on."

"I'm coming!" she called back. She turned to Roxas and kissed him on the cheek, much to the amazement of everyone present except Cloud who simply rolled his eyes. "Bye Roxas." She walked off. As soon as she reached Cloud he started talking to her in a very low voice. She smiled and answered as they walked through the gate and onto the street.

They all watched as Cloud pulled on a pair of goggles and handed another pair to Fuu who slipped them on over her eyes. She got behind him on his motorcycle and they sped off. Fuu looked back and waved before they disappeared from sight.


	2. Chapter 2

Since Riku was gone Roxas had to do all his chores for him. Not that he cared. It's not like he had anything else to do on a Friday night. He emptied the garbage, washed the dishes – all of them – and the floors in six of the rooms in their house before he took a break. He went into the kitchen and got a glass of water. As he drank it he looked out at the setting sun and sighed. He still had to weed the garden, which he should have done first but it had been too hot. He supposed he could just do it in the morning before work but he really didn't want to. He really thought Riku should do it but knew he probably wouldn't. He'd come home late and sleep until noon and then "forget" so "could you please do it for me Roxas? Just this once?" Roxas shook his head, no, he'd have to do it. His brother was far too…well Riku was Riku. He grabbed a garbage bag and went outside and started to work.

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Roxas woke up when the light hit him. He sat up and looked around. He was covered in dirt. From the look of things he'd fallen asleep right as he'd finished. Then he remembered. He'd decided to lay down and look at the stars before heading in. "Guess I feel asleep…" he muttered unnecessarily. He checked his watch and groaned – he had to be at work in an hour. He glanced around at their "garden" (a patch of flowers between the front of their house and the road) making sure he hadn't forgotten anything and went inside.

He walked up the stairs and into the bathroom, turning on the water in the shower. He pulled off his shirt – covered in dirt and sweat – and tossed it aside before brushing his teeth. He splashed cold water on his face, trying to wake up more before getting in the shower.

By the time he was done he had forty minutes still. He got himself a bowl of cold cereal and sat down at the counter to eat it. Then he noticed something. Riku's shoes weren't by the door. He set down his food and walked upstairs. He got to his brother's room and knocked. "Riku? Riku you awake?" He pushed open the door and groaned.

Riku was passed out on his bed, an empty bottle in his hand. His shoes were no where in sight – he'd probably walked home without them again.

Roxas walked in and pried the bottle from Riku's loose grip, cranked open the window and tossed it out. He then opened every single shade in the room so as much light as possible hit his brother directly in the face. This was the third time that month Riku had come home drunk and he was sick of it.

Roxas left and grabbed the bucket he used to hold water to wash the floors and filled it with freezing water. He walked back into Riku's room and mercilessly dumped it on his brother's head.

Riku sputtered and opened his eyes, flinging his arm up to shield his face from the light. After a few moments he blinked up at his younger brother.

"I'm not covering for you this time," Roxas told him icily.

"Roxas, come on, it'll just be this once you know…" Riku flopped back on his bed and covered his face with a pillow.

"Yeah. That's what you said the first time too," Roxas retorted darkly. "Who the hell are you anyway? You've changed."

"Grow up Roxas," Riku snapped, his face slightly muffled. "Just because you're still a kid doesn't mean we're all going to stay the way we were when we were younger."

Roxas shook his head. "Our mother would be ashamed of you," he said. Disgusted, he walked out and slammed the door behind him.

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Roxas got to work and was immediately sent out again on a delivery. His job entailed deliveries to those around Twilight Town. There were only three employees besides their boss. His co-workers were from Destiny Islands – Tidus and Selphie. They were on good terms with Roxas but they were both home-schooled so it didn't help him out much at school.

He rode through town on his skateboard, a shoebox-sized package covered in brown paper tucked under his arm. The wind messed up his hair and ruffled his clothes but he didn't mind. It wasn't like he had anyone to impress.

He finished his first delivery fairly quickly and decided to stall before going back. He'd gotten tipped and it looked like he had just enough to grab some ice cream.

He bought his ice cream and sat on the city's wall, looking out over the ocean as he ate it. Once he'd finished he tossed the popsicle stick into a nearby garbage can and reached into his pocket, pulling out a worn and wrinkled letter. He stared at it and at the sea alternately, lost in thought. He'd only been there for about five minutes when someone joined him.

"Is it just me or do you have a thing for sitting on walls?"

He jumped and looked over at Fujin, who giggled. "You startled me," he muttered. He turned his eyes back out to the sea.

"So how's life?" she asked, smiling.

"Everything's jake…"

"'Jake?'" she repeated. "No one says that anymore." She laughed.

Roxas looked away. "My brother used to say that all the time."

"What, you mean Riku? I can't imagine him saying anything like that."

He shook his head. "No, no. My other brother."

"You have two brothers?"

"Three, actually. Hey what time is it?" he asked, trying to change the subject.

"Eleven thirty, why?"

He swore under his breath. "I'm late for work. I'd better get going. I stalled after my first job." He jumped up and grabbed his board, going off without so much as a goodbye. She watched him until he was out of sight.

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A/N: Not a very long chapter…sorry…I don't have much of an idea where this story is going or how long it'll be, so just bear with me. I'll update whenever I have the time but in the meantime, please be patient. A lot is going on in my life right now. Thanks for understanding. :D

(Assumptions are lovely, don't you think?)


	3. Chapter 3

Work was killer the rest of the day. He had to make twelve more deliveries before lunch and six more afterwards. Needless to say, Roxas was exhausted. But he didn't go home. He knew Riku would be there and he would be angry about this morning once he woke up enough to remember it. Roxas shook his head. Their mother had left that morning on business and wouldn't be back until tomorrow. He needed to find somewhere to crash. Riku's friends would be over and he knew they'd be drinking. Last time he'd been caught with them there he'd barely made it out of there alive. Riku had stopped them thankfully but he wasn't so sure he would this time. Riku had gotten the short end of the stick in the fight that had followed. No, better to spare them both the broken arms and black eyes.

Roxas looked around for someplace he could crash and found no where. Last time he'd just gone to Hayner's but now?

He stopped and rested with his back against the wall of a large house in a residential neighborhood. His board rested on the ground beneath his right hand. He rested his head on the wall, eyes closed, face turned to the sky. He felt himself starting to drift off…

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"Roxas?" Someone was shaking his arm, trying to get him awake. "Roxas, wake up."

He grunted in his sleep. "Not now Sora…go away…" He tried to shake the person off.

"Roxas, you fell asleep in the street. People are staring, come on."

Roxas opened his eyes and saw Fuu. He groaned and rubbed his eyes. "Alright, alright, I'm up," he protested when she tugged his arm again. He stood, grabbed his board and let himself be dragged away.

She stopped once they'd rounded a corner and turned to face him, fists on her hips. "What were you doing there? You should go home."

Roxas sighed and shook his head. "I can't."

"Why not?"

He didn't answer. He looked down at his shoes, avoiding her gaze.

"Roxas? Are you ok?"

"I, um…locked myself out of the house…" he said evasively.

She laughed. "Well that's okay then. I can pick locks so if you'll just show-"

"No!" He grabbed her arm and pulled her back. "No," he repeated more gently. "It's fine…"

"Something really is wrong…isn't it? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," he muttered, letting go of her.

"So who are you staying with tonight? I assume one of your friends…?" She let her voice trail off when he shook his head. "You…you really don't have any friends…do you?"

He turned away and starting walking off. "I'm going to find somewhere to crash. See ya," he called over his shoulder. He had no reason to tell her his sad sorry tale and was determined to keep it to himself.

"Roxas wait." She ran to catch him and grabbed him by the shoulder. He winced in pain. "What's wrong? Did that hurt? I didn't grab you hard, did I?"

He shook his head and rolled up his sleeve to show a big shiny bruise. "Fell off my skateboard," he lied.

She looked him over, concern and worry in her eyes. Then she grabbed his hand and started walking down the street again, tugging him along. "Come on," she said. "You can stay with me tonight since you have no where else to go."

He stopped and she turned. "No. I can't."

"Why not?"

"Don't you think that's weird? I don't even _know_ you!"

"Sure you do. I'm Fujin Strife. You're Roxas Leonhart. Now let's _go_. I promised Cloud I'd be home an hour ago." He sighed and let her drag him along knowing there was no possible way he could argue further and live.

"Cloud, I'm home!" she called as they walked in.

Cloud emerged from a room further back in the house, wiping his hands on a towel. "Oh, you've brought home a stray," he said lightly, the corner of his mouth curling. "And who is this mutt?"

"Roxas Leonhart, sir," Roxas said politely.

"Leonhart…you'll have an older brother then?"

"Two, sir. Squall and Riku."

"That's right. Squall…I remember him. We went to school together. How is he?"

"He's uh…fine, thanks." Roxas looked uncomfortable.

Cloud turned to his sister. "Dinner's ready. We're having stew. Don't worry, it's not made from scratch," he assured her when she wrinkled her nose. "I'm a terrible cook," he told Roxas with a smile. "Fuu usually cooks but she apparently got side-tracked on the way home so I made it today."

Cloud led the way into a cozy little kitchen. Two places were set at the table though it could hold four people. Fuu retrieved another bowl, cup, and a spoon for Roxas, setting cup and spoon down at an empty place for him. She held out the empty bowl. "Come on, dish up," she said, nodding to the big pot on the stove.

He took the bowl and stared at it blankly. Fuu sighed and dragged him over to the stove and dished up stew for them both. He muttered his thanks as they walked back to the table and sat down.

Roxas stared at his food, not eating it, as the others began.

"Roxas? Aren't you hungry?"

He shook his head – he was far too tired to be hungry and he had the beginnings of a headache.

"Aww, you should eat. You'll hurt poor Cloud's feelings if you don't." Cloud grinned at his sister.

Roxas smiled weakly and picked up his spoon. He only got halfway through before he stopped again. "I…I'm sorry…" he muttered. "But I'm really tried…"

"Oh! Sorry, I should have thought…why else would you fall asleep in the street?" Cloud raised his eyebrows but she shot a look at him meaning 'I'll explain later so shut it.'

"You can stay in my room," she offered. "It's a little messy but the bed's soft."

He shook his head, feeling dizzy. "No, this is your house. If you've got a couch or something that'll be fine."

She considered him for a moment and then nodded, changing course and heading into the living room. She pointed to a squishy-looking blue couch. "I'll get a blanket and a pillow for you." She left to fetch them but by the time she came back he was already fast asleep, using his own jacket for a blanket.

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A/N: Sorry, kind of an abrupt ending but if I'd gone on I wouldn't have a place to stop for another two or three pages. Sorry. XD

So do you like how this story's going so far? No one's really said anything so I don't know whether or not I should keep it going or let it die….

Anyway, next chapter up soon, probably tomorrow.

Thanks for reading. :D

- Eevil Hero


	4. Chapter 4

"Hey, Fuu, I need you to…" Cloud's voice trailed off when he saw his sister put her finger to her lips. He raised an eyebrow and she pointed to the sleeping boy. "He must have been pretty tired," Cloud whispered.

She nodded. "I only left him for a minute or two…" She strode forward softly and lifted the jack off of him. If she noticed the bruises on his shoulders she gave no reaction to it. She probably believed his lie about the first. But then, why would his arm be all wrapped up? She shook her head, choosing to believe him for now. She unfolded the blanket and gently placed it over him.

He stirred, resettling himself on the couch. He rolled over so his back was to her. "Not now Sora…" he muttered, tugging the blanket around him.

Satisfied that he'd gone back to sleep, Fujin left, tugging Cloud with her.

"Who's Sora?" he asked.

She shook her head. "I don't know, but that's the second time he's mentioned her."

"Maybe his sister?" Cloud suggested.

Fuu shrugged, secretly hoping it wasn't his girlfriend or something. She looked down at his jacket, still in her arms. "I should hang this up…" She shook it out as she went to the closet and hung it on a hanger.

"Hey, you dropped something," Cloud said, picking it up. It was a very wrinkled envelope.

"Did I? I hadn't noticed…" She took it, feeling slightly confused, but pocketed it all the same. "So, did you need something? You were calling for me."

Cloud shook his head. "Forget it."

"Alright, I'm going to bed then," she told him. "Night." She disappeared up the stairs as her brother waved goodnight.

Fuu, however, did not go to sleep. After she'd changed into her pajamas, she sat on her bed and took out the envelope Cloud had handed to her. She didn't remember it really, but it seemed familiar. She opened it up and pulled out two worn pieces of paper. She opened the top-most one and glanced at it. It looked like a letter but she certainly hadn't written it. Unable to control her curiosity, she read.

_Look, I'm sorry about everything that happened. Really, I am. It wasn't your fault, so stop blaming yourself and get your ass home already. Riku's being really hard on himself and I can't exactly say I blame him, but it's putting a lot of stress on mom and me, especially since Squall – I mean Leon – left to look for you. She's working twice as hard now and I've got a job of my own too, picking up the slack Riku's leaving. He's…well he's changed. He's been drinking a lot. I hate it but I know why he does it. He hates seeing you in his dreams. His nightmares, really, so he gets so drunk he can't remember them._

_No one cares about what happened. Honestly. We just want you home. It's been six months now…where are you? Mom's getting thin – she barely eats. I can only do so much to keep our family alive…You know mom isn't paid much as it is and she really relied on Leon. But she was more worried about you than us, which is totally understandable. And did you know…at one point…we thought you'd been killed. The boy looked _just_ like you Sora. And I don't even mean like you and I look alike. I mean _identical_ twin look alike. I thought she'd die right in front of my eyes…_

_I'm not saying this to make you guilty, well…unless guilt would bring you home, which it might. But…why did you run away in the first place? I know Riku's a pain and mom can be eccentric and Leon…well…he's always had a stick up his butt but I thought I was worth something to you. I guess not. But then that's just me, right? Worthless, pathetic, useless little Roxas. Sora's twin brother. Nothing. Never even known as myself, always as someone's brother. But I don't care. I would never care again if you just came home._

_But you'll never know because I don't know where to send this letter. And how can you send a letter with no one to receive it? Without an address? Maybe that's why I'm a delivery boy now, to make sure other people get the things the people they love want to send them._

_I hope this finds you some day, one way or another, even if we…I…never see you again._

_See you around. Hopefully._

_-Roxas_

Fujin carefully folded up the letter with shaking hands and gently placed it back in the envelope. She was sorry she'd read it but now she understood things a lot better. Like Sora was Roxas' twin brother, that Riku was a drunk and Roxas was afraid of him, and that something had happened for his whole life to fall apart while he was desperately trying to hold it together.

She wanted to open the second paper but was afraid to see what it held. She didn't get the chance to decide, however, when something – two photographs – fell out of it. She lifted it gently and stared at the people in it.

The first picture showed two adults – a man and a woman. Roxas' parents from the look of them. Each of them held a baby in their arms; his father held the blond Roxas and his mother held a brunet baby, probably Sora. Roxas looked just like his mother – she had silky blonde hair and shining blue eyes. Her smile was loving and went straight to her eyes. She was thin but curvy. In a word, she was beautiful. His father was about half a foot taller than his mother, whatever that meant for his height (it was impossible to tell from the picture how tall either of them were). He had fly-away chocolate hair and brilliant green eyes. His smile was very cheesy. She would have believed it was forced had it not been for the look in his eyes. They looked like very proud parents. Fuu stared at the photo for a moment long before setting it aside.

The second picture was of four boys. On the left was the eldest, around twenty or so. He had long, dark brown hair, pale skin, and bright blue eyes. A scar cut across his nose and onto the left side of his face – evidence of a hard fight. He wore black pants, a white shirt, and a short-sleeved leather jacket with a red emblem on the left sleeve. He had gloves on his hands and three belts wrapped tightly around his left arm and three more belts hung around his waist and hips. He looked solemn but his eyes were full of laughter as he watched his younger brothers. On the far right was Riku, with silver hair and blue-green eyes. He looked the same as he always did with his baggy pants held up with a silver-studded belt, black zip-up vest and the white and yellow vest he always wore over it. He kept a white…thing…around his left wrist that went down half-way over the back of his hand. The corner of his mouth curled. His expression was similar to Leon's (Fuu assumed that's who the man on the left was). In the middle were Roxas and Sora, Roxas standing on the right of his twin with his arm around his brother's neck. Their grins were cheesy but sincere. There eyes were an identical shade of clear blue. Roxas' brother had extremely spiky brown hair that stuck out at all angles while Roxas' blond locks looked a bit more controllable. There was no denying it, they looked like goofballs, but Roxas looked so…happy.

Fuu looked at the date on the back and, with a jolt, realized this must have been the last picture they'd ever taken together.

She sighed softly to herself, her heart going out to her friend. She folded the pictures back into the second paper and tucked them back into the envelope, folding it shut exactly the way she'd found it.

She rose to her feet and, without turning on any lights, she crept down the stairs with barely any sound issuing from her. She pulled open the closet door and slid the envelope into the pocket of Roxas' jacket and closed it again.

Just as she was about to go upstairs again she paused, listening. It sounded like Roxas was having a nightmare. She headed toward the living room but before she got there she heard a soft crash followed by several muttered curses. She sighed, reach in, and clicked on a lamp.

Roxas had fallen off of the couch and was lying face-down on the floor in a tangle of blankets. He shoved himself up onto his elbows before ducking his head, shielding his eyes from the light. "It's not morning is it?" he muttered, voice muffled by the carpet.

"No, it's not." She walked over to him and knelt down beside him as he untangled himself and straightened, blinking in the light. "Are you ok? I heard you talking in your sleep…"

He rubbed his face with his hands then shoved his hair away from his face. For a moment, Fuu saw a jagged gash on his forehead. She reached out and smoothed his hair away from his face so she could look at it better. "How did this happen?" she asked softly.

He avoided her eyes. "I told you…fell of my skateboard…"

"Must have been a mighty hard fall," she said. She touched it gently and he winced. It must have happened recently, then. "Roxas…are you sure you're alright?"

He sighed. "Are you ever gonna give that a rest?"

"Why can't you just tell me?"

He leaned his head back until it was resting on the couch's cushion. "I just can't, ok?"

She sighed but decided to leave it for now. Instead, she asked, "How often do you have nightmares?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Lost track." He shook his head. "I never used to have them when Sora was around…"

"Your brother? What difference would that make?" she asked, curious.

He shrugged. "Well, my family…doesn't have a lot of money and…well…Sora and I had to share a room. We slept on an air mattress on the floor, so I guess I'm just not used to sleeping alone. But it doesn't matter. I'll get used to it."

She hesitated, then took his hand. He looked down at their intertwined fingers then up at her, obviously confused. "Roxas…will you let me be your friend?"

He tilted his head to the side. "What do you mean?"

"You keep trying to push me away but I really do want to be your friend. So will you let me?"

He hesitated, then nodded.

She grinned. "Alright then. I'm staying with you tonight."

"Huh? Hey, what?" He jumped. "That wasn't part of the deal!"

She laughed softly. "Keep your voice down. You'll wake Cloud."

His eyes darted to the older man's bedroom door which was right across the hall. "But why the heck would you want to do that?" he demanded.

"Because you said you have nightmares if you're alone."

"Yeah, but I didn't mean-"

She put a finger to his lips. "Please, don't make me hurt you." Her eyes sparkled with a scary combination of laughter and mirth.

In the end he agreed, more out of fear than anything. Fear of her, and of his nightmares.

They stretched out on the floor – there wasn't enough room for them to keep a comfortable distance on the couch and Roxas _refused_ point blank to go to her room to sleep. He handed her the pillow she'd left for him and used his arm as one for himself. They curled up under their own blankets and he kept his back to her, very unhappy about the whole situation. He wasn't even sure if this would _work_. Sora was his twin brother and this girl was barely more than a stranger. Plus he didn't want to face Cloud in the morning. The thought made him shiver.

He was just debating on whether or not to argue further with her when he heard deep, even breathing – she was already asleep. He sighed in exasperation, closed his eyes, and let sleep overcome him.

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A/N: Yeah…sorry I didn't warn you about all the Fuu OOC ness. :grins nervously: don't hurt me. :D it wasn't originally gonna turn out that way, but it just seemed easier for her to be…well…you'll see. It comes in handy later, and it will all get explain. Much later.

And you know what else? Cloud is freaking amazing. You'll see why next chapter. Tee hee.

Thanks for reading. :P

-Eevil Hero


	5. Chapter 5

Roxas woke early the next morning despite the small amount of sleep he'd gotten. To his utter amazement he found Fuu sleeping right up next to him, one arm around him with her head on his chest. When he tried to pry her loose she only clung tighter. He let his head fall back onto the floor. He heard muffled laughter and looked up to see Cloud with his fist in his mouth, trying desperately not to wake his sister or die laughing.

Roxas glared at him and made a rude gesture with the hand that wasn't pinned down by Fuu but that only made Cloud laugh harder.

"She won't wake up for hours you know," Cloud finally managed to say.

"Why not!" Roxas didn't even try to keep his voice down. Fujin didn't so much as twitch.

"She's always like that." He was still chuckling. "She's not a morning person. You don't have to work today do you?" When Roxas shook his head Cloud added, "Then I won't bother trying to help you."

"H-hey! Don't leave me here!" Roxas called, but Cloud had already disappeared with a cheerful wave. Roxas cursed and lay back, glaring at the sleeping girl, for all the good it would do. He poked her in the ribs. "Hey, Fujin, wake up. Hey! I said wake up!" He shook her but she barely moved. Now that he was awake he realized that the arm beneath her was completely numb. He tried to move the fingers of his left hand but it hurt so he let it go.

Trying to pass the time, he lifted his free arm and stared at the bandage wrapped firmly around it, deep in thought.

"What happened?" He was so calm that he didn't even jump when she spoke. She was still holding onto him but she lifted her head off his chest to look at his arm. "Was it another accident?"

He lowered his arm to his side again. "Yeah, I guess you could say that." He finally realized what was going on and looked over at her – it had finally hit him that she was awake and what that meant. "Um…Fuu?"

"Yeah?" she asked tiredly.

"Could you maybe…um…get off my arm? I can't feel it anymore…"

"Oh!" She sat up, blushing. "I'm sorry! I must have moved in my sleep."

He sat up, massaging his arm and winced as the feeling started to return. "I noticed."

She stood and stretched. "Oh, it feels early. What time is it?" She looked around at the clock hanging on the wall, not really expecting an answer from him. "Aw geez, it's only five thirty. I should go back to bed…" She grinned. "On second though, I'm hungry."

"Hey Fuu?" She turned. "Mind if I take a shower?" She smiled and pointed him in the right direction then headed into the kitchen.

She found Cloud consulting a cook book. She hurriedly snatched it away from him. "Don't even _think_ about it."

He laughed. "Okay, okay." He held his hands up in defeat and gave her a mock bow. "Kitchen's all yours Princess." She whacked him gently with the book.

Cloud took a seat on one of the stools pulled up to the counter as he watched his sister start to make breakfast. "So, what's his story?" he asked after a while.

"Who, Roxas?" she asked as she pulled down a mixing bowl from a shelf. Cloud nodded. She sighed and set it down. "I'm not sure exactly. He doesn't want to talk about it."

"Those are some pretty ugly bruises you know," he said, eyes serious.

She nodded. "And I don't like the look of that bandage on his arm, or the cut on his forehead."

"How do you think he got them?"

"I'm not sure. He said falling off his skateboard, which I guess is possible for _some_ of them but…" She shook her head. "He's hiding something and I'm worried."

"Do you think…maybe it's his brother?" Cloud didn't want to meet her eyes.

"Why would you say something like that? How could it be?" she demanded, eyes blazing. "No, definitely not. Even if he _does_ drink, he would _never_ hurt Roxas. Understand?"

Cloud didn't answer. "So, who's Sora? I assume you found out?"

She nodded. "His twin brother. Apparently he ran away."

"And you don't know why?"

She shook her head. "I think Roxas knows, but in the letter you found – it was his by the way – he didn't sound so sure. And he said he was worthless to his brothers…I'm not sure if that's true, but…it worries me." She chewed her bottom lip.

"He'll tell you when he's ready," Cloud assured her.

"Tell you what when who's ready?" Roxas came in, his hair dripping wet and hanging in his eyes.

Cloud grinned. "We're talking about her cooking again. And you." Fujin waited with baited breath, afraid Cloud would ask him straight out but then he said, "She's going to make breakfast and she's afraid you won't like it."

"Oh breakfast. That means food. I _like_ food." Roxas grinned and took the seat beside Cloud. "Need help?" he offered, but she waved him off.

"Nah. I'm a big girl. I can cook for my own guests." She went about her task as Roxas and Cloud talked. They discussed things like work (they were both in the delivery business so that consumed a large chunk of time), their families (Roxas was very uncomfortable so it was left behind quickly) and life in general in Twilight Town (Cloud hadn't been here in years so he wanted to know what had changed and what had stayed the same. He was fascinated by the Struggle competition and commented on how silly the name actually sounds if you think about it). Finally, just as they were running out of things to talk about without resorting to stupid things like the weather and politics, breakfast was ready.

Fujin set a stack of pancakes in front of both of them and a tub of syrup between them. Roxas immediately smothered his food in the stuff and starting wolfing it down.

"You sure are hungry," Cloud said with a laugh.

Roxas nodded. "Starved."

"Well you didn't eat much dinner, remember?" Fuu reminded him. He waved off the comment and finished all six of his pancakes within three minutes.

Cloud was chuckling. "Want any more?"

"Please," Roxas said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Cloud tipped half of his stack onto the younger boy's plate.

"No, go ahead, eat it. I'll never finish them," he said when Roxas gave him a look. Cloud began to eat as Roxas finished off the pancakes.

When Cloud finished he rose. "Well, I've got to get going. I have to start work soon." He kissed Fuu on the cheek and waved to Roxas before heading out. After a minute or two they heard his motorcycle fade into the distance.

"Do you want something to drink? Fuu offered.

Roxas nodded. "I can get it myself if you'll show me." She pointed to a cupboard that held glasses.

"Help yourself to anything you want," she said. She watched his back as he reached up and pulled down two glasses and asked what she wanted.

"Milk, please," she said. He filled both their glasses with it and handed one to her before sitting down again.

She leaned on the counter and watched him for a while, occasionally drinking from her glass.

"What?" he asked finally, tilting his head to the side.

She smiled. "Nothing. Just thinking."

"About what?"

"A lot of things," she replied vaguely. He took the hint and didn't press it. "So, what do you want to do today?" she asked. "Or do you want to go home?"

Roxas stared at his empty glass as he twirled it around in his hands. "I should probably call…let Riku know I'm okay, if he's even awake enough to care…" He shrugged. "I was thinking of taking a walk, maybe watch the sun rise. You want to come?"

She smiled. "Sure. Just let me get dressed?" She disappeared up the stairs and returned a few minutes later, looking much more awake. She found Roxas with his head on his good arm, his right arm laying next to his head on the counter. He looked asleep. She crept up behind him and watched him. He looked beautiful when he slept. He seemed so peaceful that it seemed almost a crime to wake him. She walked up next to him, watching his face as he dozed. She couldn't resist the urge and gently smoothed his wet hair away from his face. He smiled and opened his eyes.

"Hey," he said softly. "Did I fall asleep again?"

She smiled back and nodded. When he sat up she realized her hand was still in his hair. She blushed but didn't pull away. Instead, she let her hand fall gently onto his shoulder. He stared up at her; their eyes locked for a long time.

Suddenly, he stood and wrapped his arms around her. She was shocked but quickly recovered and hugged him back. He held on for a long time before pulling back. When he sat down he quickly wiped his eyes, trying to hide his emotions.

"What's wrong?"

He shook his head. "It's just…I'd forgotten…how nice it is to have a friend." He smiled up at her. "Thanks…for everything…"

Her own eyes filled with tears as she looked at the grateful expression on his face. It made his whole being light up. She hurriedly blinked them away and tugged his arm until he stood. "Let's see that sunrise you promised me."


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Yeah. It's been a while. But I'm back. Going's going to be slow. I'm sorry, but I have 3 AP classes this semester and the SAT's to prepare for, so please be patient. I'm doing the best I can. :D

I also am running out of ideas for this story so I may cut out a lot of the middle scenes I wanted to (since I have no ideas for them) and finally get to the part that's been anticipated by anyone who actually likes this fic. Yep. That's right. You get to find out what happened to Sora. :D I'm excited for it. Haha.

All ideas appreciated. PM or note me if you've got one.

Thanks for reading!

-Eevil Hero

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Roxas stood on the wall at the edge of town – the same wall he'd sat on the day before as he ate his ice cream. Fuu stood on the ground next to him, her arms folded on the wall beside his foot, her chin resting on her fist.

"Isn't it beautiful?" he asked her, eyes glued to it.

"Mm-hmm," she murmured. "I hardly ever watch the sun rise."

"I watch it every morning." He dropped down to crouch on one leg, letting the other swing on the far side of the wall. He put his hands down on the wall to help support himself. "Every morning brings another chance to try again what you didn't do right the day before," he said, smiling slightly.

"That's a nice way of thinking of that. Did you come up with that yourself?"

He shook his head. "No. Sora did." He chuckled. "He was so happy all the time…so upbeat." His face fell slightly. "And then the accident…" He looked away.

Fuu reached over and gently covered his hand with hers. "It'll be ok," she said softly.

He shook his head then grinned. "Come up here, I want you to see this."

"See what?" she asked suspiciously.

He laughed. "Just get up here." He steadied her by holding her hand as she climbed up the wall. "Look. See how the light makes the water shine?" He put one hand on her shoulder and pointed out with the other. She followed his gaze and smiled. "Sora would wake me up every day to watch it. He'd tell me to look at the diamonds in the water. He used to say the reason we were poor was because all our riches were in the sea." He chuckled. "Our father was a fisherman for a while though, so that may have had a double meaning…"

Fujin giggled. She looked over at him, loving the way his eyes shone in the light. 'Why can't he _always_ look so happy?' she wondered, then realized she was staring and quickly looked away, fighting down a blush.

Roxas shifted positions again so he was sitting on the wall letting both feet hang, his hands on his knees. He breathed the morning air deeply, loving the salty smell that rolled in off of the sea. "We should do this every morning," he said, grinning at her. "It should be a new tradition."

She smiled back at him and nodded. "Yeah. I'd like that." She hesitantly rested her head on his shoulder, turning back to watch the sunrise again. To her delight, he smiled and turned too, leaving her where she was. They didn't move til the sun was well above the water.

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Later that day, they were walking down the street together, looking for something to do, when Roxas stopped abruptly. "Oh no," he muttered. "Not today. Please God not today." He tried to turn away and head back the way they'd just come but Fuu held him back.

"What's wrong? It's just some kids from school."

Roxas turned his face away, trying to hide from them as best he could. "You don't understand," he said. "Come on please just trust me when I say that it's not a good thing if they spot us. Well, for me, at least."

"Why?"

"Hey, Leonhart!"

Roxas groaned, eyes closed. "Too late."

There were about six or seven of them in all, a pretty even number of both boys and girls. The biggest one seemed to be their leader. "What's a loser like you doing in a place like this?" he demanded, staring at Roxas. He hadn't even noticed Fuu.

"I'm just walking Luke," Roxas replied coolly. "It's not unheard of."

"Yeah? Well there's something about the _way_ you're doing it that's ticking me off."

"Maybe you just shouldn't look then. Unless you have nothing better to do?" Roxas stuffed his hands into his pockets.

Luke scoffed. "Of course I do. Why would I want to spend time on a freak like you?"

"I don't know why you would and yet here we are."

Luke cracked his knuckles at him. "I'd shut up if I were you."

Roxas nodded and tried to walk past him but Luke shoved him back.

"Going somewhere?"

Roxas smirked. "You said you had better things to do."

"I just decided to forget them." He swung a punch at Roxas but the smaller boy ducked it and slammed his own fist up into Luke's jaw. He staggered then righted himself, growling. "You're gonna get it now!" He went at it again but Roxas tripped him then knocked him on the back of the neck with a fist, knocking him out instantly.

The other boys in the group didn't take lightly to this. In an instant, they charged. It took a few minutes, but Roxas finally knocked them all to the ground.

He stood over them, eyes hard. One hand was still in his pocket where it had been the entire time. His much abused right hand had what looked like the beginning of an ugly bruise growing. His nose twitched slightly – he'd been hit in the face twice – but then he shrugged it off. He walked past the girls, who were in hysterics. "Don't worry, they'll wake up in about an hour. Though I don't envy the headaches they'll have." He looked back. "Fujin, come on. Let's get out of here."

She hesitated for a moment, then followed at a run until she'd caught up with him. "Are you alright?" she asked, sounding worried.

"I'm fine," he muttered. He shoved his bruised hand into his pocket. He was in a very bad mood at the moment so Fuu chose not to say anything more but simply walked beside him as they headed off down the street.

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"Mom? Riku? I'm home," Roxas called as they entered the house. He seemed to have calmed down considerably since his fight. "Come on," he said to Fuu when he didn't hear anyone. "Let's go check inside."

She followed him inside, looking around curiously.

"Sorry…" he muttered, sounding embarrassed. "I know it isn't much…" It was true, the house was rather small, but it seemed well built. There weren't that many furnishings on the inside and the ones they had looked worn. There was only one pair of shoes by the front door and they looked like they belonged to a guy.

Roxas tossed his keys on a rickety little table that sat by the front door. "Riku!" he called. "Hey, Riku! You alive?" No answer. "Oh no, not this too…" He darted down the hall and up the stairs.

"Roxas?" Fuu followed him.

Roxas looked in Riku's room but he wasn't there. He checked the bathroom, too (he'd once found him in there throwing up and another time passed out), but he wasn't there either. He went into his own room and stopped in the doorway, sighing in relief. Riku was sitting at Roxas' pathetic desk, his head on his arm, fast asleep. Roxas ran his hand through his hair, feeling slightly ashamed. "I guess I should have called last night after all…" he muttered to himself.

"Roxas, what's going on?" Fuu emerged beside him.

"It looks like he was waiting for me…" Roxas stepped inside and gently shook Riku awake.

He sat up and looked around. He jumped up when he saw Roxas, grabbing him by the shoulders. "Where have you been? I was worried sick! I thought something had happened to you!"

Roxas couldn't speak. The fact that his brother was here, worried and afraid, meant a lot to him. Riku could have been out having fun but had stayed out of worry for his little brother. Roxas hung his head and was finally able to mutter, "I'm sorry. I…I thought…well…that your friends would be here…and well…last time…"

Riku sat down again, rubbing his face with his hands. "Oh man…I'd totally forgotten. I should have thought…" He looked up at Roxas, shamefaced. "They _were_ here. I guess it's a good thing you didn't come home after all…" Riku looked away and his eyes fell on Fuu. "Who're you?"

"I um…" She seemed uncomfortable. "My…my name's Fujin Strife. We met on Friday, don't you remember?"

"I…oh…right…Sorry…don't remember much about Friday…" He suddenly looked from Roxas to Fuu. "Did you stay with her? What were you doing? And why's she here? Were you planning something?"

"NO!" Roxas and Fuu shouted together.

"No," Roxas repeated more calmly. "I stayed with her because I had no where else to go. I slept on the couch." Well, it was half true. He _had_ slept on the couch for a while. It seemed a good idea not to tell Riku the whole truth. He glanced at Fuu – she seemed to agree with him. "We were out walking and I came to get something."

Riku shrugged. "Just so long as you're not dead so mom won't kill me when she comes home." He started to walk away, then stopped in the doorway. "Oh, that reminds me. She called and they're extending the trip to Tuesday after next. I don't expect you'll want to stay here, will you?"

"Your friends will be coming, then?" he asked knowingly. When Riku nodded he shrugged. "Just keep them out of my room and mom's." Riku nodded again and left. Roxas sighed and sunk down onto his air mattress. "I don't know how he can keep it up. One minute he's my brother the next he's a drunk." He shook his head and put his face in his hands. After a moment he looked up again, glancing around his room. He cursed softly. "I guess I could stay with Tidus…" he muttered to himself. "He let me once before…"

"Don't be silly," Fuu said, plopping down next to him. "You can stay with us if you like."

Roxas grinned but shook his head. "Don't you think that'd be weird?"

"Well how do you know Tidus will even let you stay? And here I am offering it to you so you don't have to beg anyone."

He sighed and let himself fall onto his back, staring at the ceiling. "Alright, alright. Quit your groveling, I'll come." He grinned then said, very softly, "Thanks."


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I am SOOOO sorry about the delay. I had COMPLETELY forgotten about the buffer I made over Christmas, so I now have up to chapter 10 written. I'll be posting 7 today, 8 tomorrow, 9 Thursday and 10 Friday. I'll try to be better from now on. More notes about that in chapter 10. Laterz!

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When they got back to the Strife's house they found a note pinned to Cloud's closed bedroom door.

'An important delivery came up. Sorry I didn't say goodbye, but it is apparently very important. I'll be back some time late this week or early next. My room's a mess, don't go in there. Aerith was experimenting with her potions again and one of them exploded on us. Not pretty. So if any strays come to call again bunk him in your room. There's an air mattress in the storage room. I heard one particular stray was used to them.

See you in a week.

-Cloud'

Fuu read the letter aloud, laughing. "Well I guess he expected you'd be back then," she said. She nodded at the stairs. "Come on, let's go find it. It could take hours, knowing the state Cloud keeps that room in." They ascended the stairs, Fuu leading the way. As they passed her room, she stopped. "You can put your stuff in here," she offered, opening the door, though it took her a minute to do so. "Stupid thing sticks sometimes. It's worse when it's humid. Sometimes I get stuck in here til nightfall when it cools down."

Her room was small but tidy. Well, Roxas couldn't really call it small – it was twice the size of his but his had once been a walk-in closet so he didn't have much room to talk. All that had fit in his room was the queen sized air mattress (because there were two people in there at one point) and the small desk and rickety old chair. They'd hung their clothes on the bars that were already in there from when it was used as a closet. They had to keep their socks and underwear in a shoebox in the corner. Fuu's room, however, held a queen sized bed (not just a mattress), three large bookcases, a desk with a chair that rolled around (Roxas' favorite kind of chair) and had a door to a closet in the corner. There was also room enough on the floor to fit in an air mattress for him. The carpet beneath his boots looked very soft, the kind you want to dig your toes into. It was green as moss, as were the walls, not that you could see them. There were pictures hanging everywhere of everything imaginable. Photographs, magazine clippings, posters, you name it. There were even pictures of the stars on her ceiling. The only area that was completely uncovered was the bay window. There were deep blue cushions on it that looked like they'd been used a lot.

"You can put your stuff anywhere," Fuu said, gesturing to the floor. Roxas shrugged his duffle bag off his shoulder and dropped it on the floor. Fuu sat on her bed and slipped off her shoes.

Roxas blushed, looking down at his own muddy shoes, and pulled them off, placing them upside down on the floor.

Fuu stood. "Alright, let's go."

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Fuu was right. The place was a complete disaster.

"It looks like something exploded in here, not Cloud's room," Roxas said, looking around. There were boxes of things, papers, folders, broken things Cloud had never gotten around to fixing, camping things, old things, toys, weapons, materia, keys, clocks, you name it and you'd probably find it somewhere in the whole mess.

Fuu rolled up her sleeves. "Let's start looking, then. You can start over there. I'm going to look through some of these crates."

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They found the air mattress easily enough but it took them two more hours to find the pump for it – neither of them really wanted to blow it up themselves.

Needless to say, they were hot and sweaty by the time they were done – the only windows were covered by piles of stuff and couldn't be reached.

Fuu retrieved a couple of towels after they'd blown up the mattress. "I'm gonna take a shower. There's a bathroom connected to my room," she told him, pointing to a door he hadn't noticed before. "Cloud just cleaned the others – yes I'm serious, Cloud _cleans_ – so do you mind waiting and using this one after me? I don't want him to have to do more work then's necessary."

Roxas shrugged and threw himself down on the mattress and grabbed a book to wait as she disappeared through the door.

About twenty minutes later he heard the water shut off and then he heard Fuu curse. "Um…Roxas?"

"Yeah?" he called back.

"Would you um…mind leaving the room?"

"Sure, why?"

"I kind of…um…left my towel in there…"

Roxas blushed and rose, going to the door. It didn't open. "Uh…Fuu…the door's stuck."

She swore again. "Must have been the steam from the shower. I told you it sticks when it's humid."

"Oh no…" Roxas got an idea. "I can just go in the closet til you're done," he offered.

"Oh, yeah, good idea. I-oh wait. I forgot my clothes, too." She cursed again.

Roxas threw himself down onto his bed, tugging the pillow over his head. "Don't do this to me God, please don't. Things are awkward enough as it is between us."

"Alright, here's what we'll have to do. You go into the closet until I get my towel and then you'll have to come out while I change."

"Alright, if you're sure…"

"Unless you want to poke your eyes out then it seems the only option."

Roxas rose to his feet with a grunt and shut himself in the closet. "All right," he called. "I'm in the closet."

He heard her come out and move around. A few moments later she knocked on the door. "Ok, you can come out now."

He slid the door back, fighting with himself not to look. Unfortunately his better half lost. He looked down at her for an instant and then away again. She was dripping water everywhere, the towel clutched to her chest. It barely concealed her – it was so short. Where the two ends met there was a large slit that ran up her leg. He gulped and slid past her before she went inside.

He walked into the bathroom, muttering about idiot male instincts, making sure he picked up both his towel and his bag of clothes before getting in the shower.


	8. Chapter 8

The next day – a Monday – was a holiday, meaning Roxas would be spared the torment of school for another blessed day. It also meant that he planned on staying up late the night before. He didn't get many chances to sleep in so he took every opportunity that presented itself.

He lay on the couch, reading a book and trying to ignore an oncoming headache. Fuu was no where to be seen, doing something else.

After a few minutes, Roxas put his book down, his hand over his eyes.

"Roxas, are you alright?" Fuu had just entered the room.

He sat up to make room for her on the couch and she sat down beside him. "Yeah, I'm fine," he muttered. "Just a headache…" He winced as the pain increased. Spots appeared in his vision.

"Maybe you'd better lie back down," she said, rising so he could do so. He nodded and stretched out. "I'll be right back." She left and returned a minute or two later with a damp washcloth. "Close your eyes," she ordered. When he did she put the cloth over his closed lids. "Any better?"

He nodded minutely, not wanting to make the cloth fall off.

"What were you reading?" she asked, picking up his discarded book. "'Beyond the Door to Light,'" she read. "Want me to read it to you?" He nodded and smiled. She turned and sat down on the floor, leaning up against the front of the couch. She opened it to the page he'd marked and began to read.

She'd been reading for some time when she felt his arm gently roll against the back of her neck. She turned her head and saw that he was fast asleep. She turned, staying on her knees and gently took his hand and put his arm at his side. She felt him take hold of her hand. She smiled and gently pulled away from him. She retrieved a blanket and covered him with it. She hesitated, then kissed him on the cheek before going upstairs to bed. "Goodnight Roxas," she whispered.

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Despite his valiant efforts, Roxas woke early as usual. He was pleased to note that he'd slept the whole night through and that his headache had subsided somewhat. He stood and stretched, waking himself up. Realizing Fuu was probably still asleep, he walked into the kitchen and started making breakfast with whatever he could find. He ended up with scrambled eggs and toast. He ate quickly then put more on a plate to take upstairs to Fuu.

Her door was closed but she was awake – he heard her moving around inside. He knocked softly. "Fuu, you awake? I made you some breakfast, if you're hungry."

The door opened and Fuu looked out at him through eyes that were red and puffy from weeping.

"What happened? Are you alright? What's wrong?"

She moved aside to admit him. He entered and put the food down on her unmade bed then turned to her. He brushed her hair away from her face as yet more tears fell down her cheeks. "Fuu…what…?" He was confused and concerned but she didn't seem to be able to talk. He put his hands on her shoulders in what he hoped was a comforting gesture, leaning down slightly to look her in the face. "Please…let me help you," he begged.

She shook her head and covered her face with hands that trembled. He pulled her into his embrace, letting her cry into his chest. He felt her put her arms around him as she cried. He held her for a long time before she finally pulled back.

"I'm alright," she said rather unconvincingly. She sat on her bed, moving the plate of food to her bedside table. She sat with her head bowed and her hands in her lap.

Roxas knelt down in front of her, taking both her hands in his. "You wanted me to let you be my friend," he said softly. "Now let me do the same for you. What's wrong?"

She hiccupped slightly. "I feel so silly…it's been two months already…" She stopped and he waited for her to continue. "Two months ago today is the day my adoptive father was killed. It was an accident, but…but I miss him so much…he was always so kind to me…so loving…And Cloud's never wanted to talk about it. You know how he is." She pulled one of her hands away, trying to wipe her tears away. Roxas moved to sit beside her, using his own hand to wipe the tears away. "I feel so pathetic," she mumbled. "I have more sense than this…"

Roxas shook his head. "You're not pathetic. It's alright to be sad. I…I remember when _my_ father died…Well…not really died, but…" He sighed. "They tell me he was turned into a Heartless."

Fujin gasped softly. "Oh Roxas…I'm so sorry…"

He shook his head. "It's alright. That was two years ago…Sora and I were fourteen at the time. Sora always said it was okay because our dad was just gone, not dead. He was alive somewhere and that was okay." He chuckled. "I have no idea what he was thinking…It's not like he remembers or loves us anymore. He'd kill us if he ever saw us again, not that he could help it." He shook his head. "But your father, he still knows and loves you even though he's gone. And he'll always be with you as long as you remember him."

"Do you really believe that?"

He looked up to meet her eyes. "I do, but the important thing is, do you?"

She sat still for a long moment, then nodded. "Thank you." She kissed him on the cheek, pulling back only a few inches to say, "That really means a lot to me."

They stared into each others eyes for a long time. Neither of them were sure who moved first but the next moment their lips met. He gently pulled her toward him. She put her hands in his hair as his hands slowly moved up her sides. They slowly fell back until they were lying on her bed. Suddenly, she broke the kiss, resting her head on his chest.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, tears in her voice. "I just…"

Roxas sighed and leaned his head back until he felt it hit the headboard. "It's alright," he told her and he meant it. He wasn't entirely comfortable with the situation he'd just put himself in but wasn't sure how to tell her. Instead, he asked, "So, do you want breakfast or not?"

She smiled up at him and nodded. They sat up and he grabbed it for her, handing it to her. He watched while she ate in silence.

"How long were you up here before I got here?" he asked when she had finished.

She shrugged. "About an hour?"

He put his arm around her waist in a sort of half hug. "Are you alright now?"

She leaned her head on his shoulder. "Yeah…I'm fine."

They sat together that way for a long time, much as they had the day before to watch the sunrise.

When his arm started to fall asleep, Roxas stood. He took the empty plate from her and kissed her on the forehead. "Go ahead and get dressed while I clean up, ok?"

She nodded as he headed for the door. Just before he went though it she called after him. "Roxas?" He turned. "I, um…" She wasn't sure what to say. She finally settled on the first thing that came to mind. "Thanks …for breakfast."

He laughed. "Anytime." And then he was gone.

She flung herself back onto her bed, covering her face with a pillow and screamed into it. "How could I be so stupid?" she asked herself. "I'm totally falling for him. But I'm his only friend. How awkward is this going to be?"

She didn't know that downstairs, Roxas was asking himself more or less the same questions.


	9. Chapter 9

School the next day was not fun, to say the least. The kids Roxas had beat up a few days earlier were there and they were livid with rage. Roxas made it through the first half of the day by staying completely silent with his head bowed over his work. He had classes with a few of them but if he avoided catching their attention he knew they'd leave him alone. For now.

It was time for lunch when something finally happened. He went to his locker to put his books away and grab his lunch – which was untouched. He had to walk through the lunch room to get outside (that was the quickest way to the grounds from his locker) but no one usually paid him any mind. He was almost to the door when someone called out to him.

"Hey! Roxas!"

He cringed and turned to look for the sound of the voice. He felt too many pairs of eyes on him for comfort.

Fujin was waving at him from a table in the center of the room, standing in the middle of the most popular people in the school. They seemed to have adopted her into their ranks almost instantly. Whether it was because they liked her or because she was related to Cloud Roxas didn't know, but just then it didn't mater.

He shook his head at her and backed up a few steps.

She sighed exasperatedly, said something to the girl on her right, and walked over to him.

When she was close enough he hissed, "No, Fujin forget it. They hate me and they'll hate you too if you force them to eat with me. _Don't_ make me go through that. You saw what happened last time."

"I know," she whispered back. "But so did they." She tugged on his arm. "Come on, don't leave me with those wolves. Besides, they're not all _that_ bad."

Roxas sighed and let himself be towed over, trying to ignore the glares he was receiving. "And yet you call them wolves," he retorted out of the corner of his mouth.

All too soon they reached the table. Fuu sat down but Roxas stood behind her, feeling very out of place and extremely unwanted. After a moment or two, Fuu looked up at him. "Well sit down," she said, smiling. "They won't bite."

Roxas wasn't so sure about that, but he sat down in an empty chair, staying out of reach of everyone else. He stared at his lunch, still clutched in his hand. He didn't feel so hungry anymore.

Just then, one of the girls groaned. When the others asked what was wrong she explained, "I forgot my lunch money again. I think I gave it to my little brother."

Roxas held his own lunch out to her. "Here. It's not much, but it's something."

She blinked. "Don't you want it?"

"I'm not hungry," he said, avoiding her eyes.

"You're so sweet!" She smiled at him and accepted the bag, pulling out the sandwich and beginning to eat.

His actions seemed to have won his favor with all the girls at the table. They kept smiling at him, anyway. But it seemed to make the guys hate him even more, if that was possible.

"So Roxas," one of the girls said, "how come you always eat outside instead of in here with the rest of us?" She was one of those girls who was always hyper and happy – he could tell just by looking at her. She had short brown hair that flipped out at the ends and bright green eyes. If he remembered correctly, her name was Selphie.

"I, um…" He shifted uncomfortably under her stare. "I like being outside…you know…away from the crowds and stuff…" It was only half true but it would have to do.

"Oh really? That's so cool. We should eat outside one day," she said, grinning.

Roxas smiled weakly. _What am I _doing_ here?_ he wondered. _They'll eat me alive._ He glanced at Luke and his friends. _I do _not_ want to get into another fight, but from the look of things I won't have a choice. I was lucky last time – it was early and they were tired. I don't think I'll get so lucky this time. Their movements will be full of anger, though, and that will make them more precise and predictable. Ugh, what am I saying? There were only four of them last time. Now that we're in school…oh man…I don't even want to _think_ about how many people they'll get on their side._

After ten more minutes, Roxas felt like his nerves were about to snap. He leaned over, whispered a hurried apology to Fuu and left, heading for his usual spot on the grounds. He felt those eyes on him again and he _hated_ it.

He didn't get very far before he felt someone behind him. He turned and was met by a fist in the face. He fell back but recovered quickly, balling his hands into fists but they struck him – all of them at once. There were a good round dozen of them. He tried, but there were just too many of them.

They laughed as they dumped him over the wall, his face inches from the street. He was out cold.

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Fuu went to her next class but excused herself not twenty minutes into it – Roxas should have been there but wasn't. She lied and said she was going to the bathroom – the first excuse that popped into her head. Instead, she slipped down a side stairwell and out the door onto the grounds. She walked briskly over to the wall where Roxas usually sat, looking for any signs that he'd been there.

Seeing nothing, she was about to turn back when something caught her eye. Something flashed silver in the sunlight. She bent down to pick it up – it was the thing Roxas hung on the zipper of his shirt. She tightened her hold around the little metal X, her nerves tensing up.

"Roxas?" she called. Her voice rose in pitch as she saw a dark splotch on the wall that looked horribly like blood. "Roxas!"

She jumped over the wall and ran to him, cradling him in her arms. "Oh dear God…who did this to you?" Her voice was barely a whisper. "Can you hear me?" Tears blurred her vision. "Wake up," she sobbed. "Please…wake up…" After a minute her senses came back to her. She needed to get help. Fast.

She moved him away from the road and ran. She didn't want to leave him but it would be faster this way, so what choice did she really have?

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He wasn't hurt so badly that he needed to go to the hospital, but he was still out of it. Fuu was sitting in the nurse's office with Riku. She was sitting on a bench with her knees clamped tightly to her chest. She tried to stifle the sounds of her sobs with her knees, but it wasn't working all that well. Riku stood with his back against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, staring blankly at the floor. They both knew he'd be alright, but who would have done this to him? And while school was still in session? How could no one have seen? Or was it just that no one cared enough to say anything?

After what seemed an eternity, the nurse emerged from the room where Roxas was. Her hands were covered in blood – Roxas' blood – but she was smiling. His injuries were minor, but he'd received a nasty blow to the head that would keep him out for a few more hours. He thankfully didn't have a concussion or any cracked or broken bones so they could take him home.

Riku brought his car around front and then he and Fuu put Roxas in the back while Fuu sat up front. Riku took them to the Strife's.

"I'd take him home, but it's a mess. Things got a little…out of hand the other night and I haven't had a chance to clean up. Besides," he added, "I think he'll be more comfortable here."

They took him inside and laid him down in Fujin's bed.

"Do you need anything?" Riku asked, standing awkwardly by the door.

"Could you go buy some bandages for him? These will need to be changed by tomorrow afternoon."

He nodded and left.

She stared down at Roxas. A large bruise was developing on the side of his face. He had bandages wrapped around both his arms now, his chest, and his left ankle. Tears filled her eyes again as she listened to him breathing softly. She smoothed his hair gently away from his face.

"I'm so sorry Roxas," she sobbed. "You were right. I should have listened to you, but I really thought things could change." She shook her head. "But you were right…They really do hate you…"


	10. Chapter 10

Ok, so here's the deal. I'm gonna do as much as I can until musical ends in two weeks (from tomorrow, Saturday). Everything below was written on...Tuesday? Please bear with me just a little longer and I'll make it worth your while. Or at least I can try. :D Ok, so now here comes one of my favorite chapters and the last in my buffer.

A/N: So now the moment you've been waiting for. :D Sorry it took so long, but I was really debating on how to do this and then musical and school got in the way of me actually writing it. Musical will be over in less than three weeks so things should get going after that. Sorry for not being able to keep my promise. V.V

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It was a cold morning, the mist still hanging thick around the town. The sun was hiding behind clouds and probably wouldn't show itself for most of the day, if it decided to come out at all.

The trains that morning were relatively empty, especially for a Monday. In fact, there were only around a dozen people in one particular compartment.

"So kid…you said you're from the islands?" Yuffie stared fixedly at the boy in front of her. She knew he looked familiar to her but how did she know him? Or, more importantly, _did_ she know him?

The boy looked up from his book just long enough to nod before turning back from it again. His blue eyes focused solely on the book for a moment before his interrogator asked another question.

"But wait, wasn't it also you that said you were from Twilight Town?"

The teen slammed his book shut and stood, not bothering to answer. "This is my stop, so I'll be getting off now." He turned away from the girl who'd done nothing but question him for the past twenty minutes while the train they were on traveled from one end of the city to the next."

"Hey wait a sec!" she yelled after him just before he stepped onto the platform. "What's your name anyway?"

The first youth took a deep breath and released it slowly through his nose. As he stuffed his book in his pocket, he stepped off the train and turned back just long enough to yell, "Sora!" before heading off again.

Sora Leonhart was not enjoying himself. First he's had to deal with that overly-protective (though sweet) Aerith girl, then that old man Cid always bugging about something or other that needed fixing and now this ninja-looking girl? When would it end?

He was on his way home after a long night working in Cid's shop. He'd been up for almost two days straight yet he didn't feel tired just then.

Sora turned a corner and almost ran into a mail box that he could have sworn was usually two feet to the right. He braced himself with his hands before he crashed, then pushed himself away from it again. Before he passed it, however, he stopped and looked back. He couldn't help it. Every time he passed one of these boxes, his got a strange feeling in his stomach.

Sora closed his eyes and leaned against the wall of the building directly beside the mailbox. He ran his shaking hands through his hair. He glanced once at the demonic box before forcing himself to look away again. He shook his head and walked away.

Not now, he told himself. Not yet. He could wait a little longer, and yet…

When he was ten steps away he stopped again, reaching into his other pocket and pulling out a small square piece of paper, his fingertips brushing again the envelope that had creases from all the times he'd folded it.

He pulled out the photograph and stared at the two faces in it, one that was his and the other that looked just like it.

"I'm sorry Roxas," he whispered, "but I just can't do this…"

Before he could stop himself, Sora tossed the photo away and it got caught in the gentle wind. The breeze carried it to the gutter where it lay as Sora walked slowly away.

"But why would he hide here? Wouldn't this be the first place Squallie would come? If not to look for him then to ask us if we'd seen him, right?" Yuffie stared at Aerith, who was sitting in a kitchen chair, with Sora and Roxas' picture clutched tightly in her hand. Water dripped gently off of one corner from the gutter where she had found it.

Aerith was silent for a long time, thinking it over. "Well…" she said at last, "let's think. How long has it been since Squall's been here?"

"Two months?" Yuffie guessed. "Radiant Garden isn't exactly on the top of his priority list right now I'd think. Finding Sora would be more important, right?"

Aerith nodded. "But think about it Yuff. He was here two months ago and stayed for three days. How long does it take to search this place?"

"I don't know. A couple of days?"

"Exactly." Aerith nodded. "He_ did_ look for Sora here. I guess he's just better at hiding than his brother thought." Aerith stood, wiping her hands on her apron and crossing to her phone.

"What are you doing?" Yuffie asked, taking Aerith's vacated seat.

"Calling Leon. What else? If we can't find Sora, maybe he can. If it isn't already too late."

However, it was too late. The morning after Sora returned home than he realized his mistake in leaving his picture lying around. He returned to the spot where he'd dropped it only to find it gone. Not wanting to take any chances, he ran home and packed everything he had, which didn't take long.

Sora swung his bag onto his shoulder, took one last look around his tiny little one-room apartment before heading out, leaving the keys and a note on the table. The note was for the woman who owned the place and let him stay there. It was, of course, signed with a fake name – Roy G. Bivv. He wished he could tell her how grateful he was in person but it was more important at that moment to get out of Radiant Garden.

As Sora walked down the street, thinking hard. Where could he go now? He considered all the places he'd been in his life and finally decided on Traverse Town. Leon and the others were no longer there, it was still a drifter town, and it wasn't even on the map in Kingdom Hearts 2, so what were the odds of someone finding him there?

Sora bought his ticket and waited for the ship to arrive. He sat in one of the dozens of plastic chairs lined up against the walls, bag at his feet and head leaned back, eyes closed.

He hated running like this but he'd been doing it for so long that he almost didn't remember how to live a normal life. He missed his family, his friends, but he couldn't even think about facing them now.

More than anything, though, Sora regretted leaving Roxas behind. He loved his brother and wished he could have told him the truth. Instead, Roxas probably thought Sora had left over a stupid accident involving a sledgehammer and Leon's little finger. He could see why his twin would think that – it had happened right about the same time as the real accident. The real reason Sora had left. Even thinking about it now upset him. Realizing this, he hastily wiped his eyes before anyone could see.

His eyes now open, he glanced around the station and felt his heart instantly drop into his stomach. Leon was standing in the station talking to the ticket manager, two girls at his sides, looking around. Sora instantly recognized one of them – she had been the one interrogating him on his train. After a few minutes of staring at them, something clicked in his mind. How could he have forgotten? They were both good friends of Leon's.

Before pausing to really think things through, Sora grabbed his stuff and turned, walking into the first room he could get to – the bathroom. Not just any bathroom, however.

The girl's bathroom wasn't so bad, Sora decided. It smelled much better than most of the ones he'd been in before. He closed the door and leaned back against it, breathing hard and wracking his brain. What could he do?

Sora unzipped his bag and pulled out Roxas' old cloak, which he'd borrowed when he left home. He pulled it on, tugging the hood down over his spiky hair. He hoped it would be enough.

He slipped back out again, his bag now concealed beneath his brother's old uniform and headed back toward the ship's passenger platform. It had just arrived and people were starting to get on. Sora hastily pushed his way into line, careful to keep his head down.

He heard Leon and the girls talking as they approached.

"-xas is really worried about him," Leon was saying. "Riku can't be making things much easier for him. In his last letter, Rox said he's taken up drinking again."

The girl Sora didn't know gasped. "Again? I thought he went sober!"

"Believe me so did I," Leon assured her. "I asked if he wanted me to come home but he said finding Sora was more important."

"That's horrible," the ninja girl said. "And didn't you say Riku gets violent when he's wasted?"

"Mm," Leon affirmed darkly. "I used to be able to get Riku off the kids, but now that Sora and I are gone and mom's working all the time…God, I wish I had as much nerve as Roxas. I know most people think I do but man…Some of those scars will never fade…"

Sora edged forward a little, feeling suddenly uneasy. Was Roxas really having so hard a time of it? For a moment he considered turning around and greeting his oldest sibling, but just then the stewardess took his ticket and he was boarding the gummi ship.

Sora took his seat and pulled his hood back. He watched Leon's back out his window until he and the girls were out of sight. He sighed and stood up, almost running to the entrance. When he got there he stopped. No, he decided, he couldn't go back yet. But he had to do something.

"Excuse me, miss?"

The stewardess turned and smiled at him. "Yes what is it sweetheart?"

"Did you see that man just now with the scar on his face? He was with a ninja and a girl in a pink dress?"

"Yes I most surely did. Why?"

Sora pulled the letter out of his pocket and handed it to her. "His name is Squall Leonhart. Please make sure he gets this. Tell him…tell him it's from…the one he's looking for."

She looked at him oddly but accepted it all the same. "Alright hun, if you're sure you can't do it yourself?" Sora shook his head. "Alright. I'll have him paged right away. Have a nice trip…" She walked off as another girl came to take her place.

Sora sighed with what could almost be considered relief and headed back inside. Soon they would know but…was it really for the best? Then again, the letter was on its way into his brother's hands, so it didn't matter now. Roxas would soon know the truth and then there would be no turning back.

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A/N: It's shorter than I'd hoped but I wanted to get it up today. I didn't edit this one either, so please excuse any and all errors I made. I'll edit it ASAP but who knows when that will be?

Please review. And, as always, thanks for reading. :D

Eevil Hero


	11. Chapter 11

"God…what's the _matter_ with you Sora? He's your _brother_ isn't he? All three of them are but…Roxas…he's the most important, isn't he? Isn't his happiness more important than…No…No, I can't think like that…"

Sora brushed his hair back away from his face but his spikes instantly sprang back into their original positions. He leaned his hands on the counter in the bathroom, staring determinedly at his reflection in the mirror in front of him.

"You promised yourself you wouldn't do this…" he told his reflection. "You promised yourself you wouldn't think about this anymore…but…I guess since I left…that's all I think about…isn't it?" Sora hung his head, eyes squeezed shut against the tears now threatening to blind him. "Don't…" he whispered to himself, but he couldn't help it. The more he tried not to think about it the more he actually thought about it.

He glared up at his reflection. "Damn you," he hissed. "This is all your fault. If you hadn't been such an _idiot_ this would never have happened." His hands clenched into fists. "I hate you. I really do. If it weren't for you...she….Kairi would…" He choked on her name. It was too painful to say.

Sora growled deep in his throat and glared into his own deep blue eyes. He hated seeing his own eyes. They reminded him of two things – his own unending guilt and his twin's identical eyes that held no such thing.

Before he realized what he was doing, Sora raised a fist and smashed in the mirror. It cracked, forming a web of shards branching off around his hand, blood at its center.

Sora cursed and pulled his hand back. He ran it under cold water and, after making sure there were no slivers of the mirror lodged within the wound, he wrapped his knuckles in a strip of cloth torn from one of his spare shirts.

Then, being careful not to look at his reflection again, Sora lifted his pack and walked out into the lobby of the hotel he'd turned into. Without pausing, he walked out the front doors and onto the street. He wouldn't be returning there now.

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Sora wandered around town, looking for some place to stay. He felt so tired all of a sudden and his head hurt, though he didn't know from what. It almost felt like he'd be hit on the back of the head, but it was more phantom pain than anything.

He'd been wandering for almost an hour before he remembered somewhere he could stay. Someplace no one else would be. He made his way there, walking as quickly as his exhaustion would allow.

When he finally got there, he entered the dismal, tiny place with a smile on his face, though it was a small one. After locking the door, he dropped his stuff on the floor and looked around, not bothering to turn on a light, though he knew there was one. He went to the boxes stacked up on the left side of the room and pulled out a couple of blankets, laying them out on the floor. Sora kicked off his shoes and lay down, hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling.

"I wonder if they really miss me?" he whispered to himself. "I mean, obviously they're looking for me, but…is it just an obligatory thing or do they really want me back?" Sora sighed, breathing out through his nose. He closed his eyes and rolled onto his side, using his arm as a pillow. "Maybe Leon was just saying those things in case I could hear them. I mean…what if Roxas is really happier without me? Maybe I should just stay here…But…" Sora sighed again. "Maybe I should go back…maybe just for a little while…but then…Then if I decided not to stay…they'd never let me go again." He rolled over onto his stomach, pulling at his hair. "What should I do? God…What should I do…?"

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"Hasn't he woken up yet?"

"No…"

"But…it's been three days. Should we take him to the doctor or something?"

Fuu looked at Riku as he leaned against the wall, arms crossed over his chest. His eyes were unfocused, his hair hanging down in his face.

"Riku, what aren't you telling me?"

"Fuu please. Just go home."

"Look Riku, just because you haven't been drinking and we moved him here doesn't mean I trust you with him." She crossed her arms over her chest.

Riku didn't even twitch. "He's my brother and therefore my responsibility. Our mother will be home in a few days, so there's no need to worry. Your brother will be home soon, too, so why don't you just go wait for him?"

"Riku!"

"Look, I have some things to do before mom gets home, so I'd appreciate it if you'd leave me to do that."

Fuu huffed then finally left.

Riku waited until he heard the front door slam before he spoke again. "You can stop pretending now."

Roxas sat up, rubbing his eyes as he did so.

"Feeling better?"

Roxas nodded. "Yeah."

"So why were you pretending? I thought she was your girlfriend?"

Roxas glared. "Hey, don't patronize me."

"Sorry, sorry. But even so. Aren't you guys friends?"

Roxas sighed and looked down. "Yeah well…"

Riku stood up, pushing himself away from the wall, taking a few steps toward his own bed where Roxas currently sat. "So what's the deal."

Roxas was silent for a long time before he finally answered. "I had a dream about him," he said very quietly.

"Who?" Riku asked.

"…Sora…"

Riku's eyes widened for a moment. He recovered quickly and then sat down beside his brother.

"What happened?"

"…I don't know. It was just flashes of memory…Sometimes I was seeing through Sora's eyes and sometimes…sometimes I was just watching him."

"Did you see anything? Anything that could tell us where he is?"

"I don't know…maybe…" He paused, thinking. "I saw Leon."

"You did?" Riku's voice got a little sharper, though it was unintentional.

Roxas nodded. "Yeah. He was with two girls that look about his age. One had brown hair…it was braided and she had on a pink dress. I think I've seen her before…somewhere…but where?"

"And the other?"

Roxas shook his head. "She didn't even look vaguely familiar. She had short black hair and she was real thin…big boots…Kinda looked like a ninja."

"Yuffie and Aerith…" Riku muttered to himself. "That must be it…"

"Who?"

"Yuffie Kisaragi and Aerith Gainsborough. They're Leon's friends. Remember when he went on they study abroad? He lived near them. He never talked about them much but…He really trusts them."

"Do you think they know something?"

Riku shook his head. "If he really went there he probably just wanted to ask for their help in looking for Sora. Your dream was probably just a coincidence."

"But how could I know about Yuffie and…Aerith…" Roxas stopped. "Cloud."

"What?" Riku looked at him.

"Cloud left a note before he left. He said Aerith was here…"

"So what? There was a girl named Aerith here. She probably wasn't the same Aerith that Leon's friends with. She would have stopped by."

"Not if she knew Leon was out looking for Sora," Roxas contradicted.

"No, I guess not…"

Roxas yawned. "I'm kinda tired. Think I'm gonna sleep again."

"You've been sleeping for three days!"

"Yeah I know, but I'm _exhausted._" Roxas thought for a moment. "Want me to go back to my room?"

Riku shook his head. "No, you stay here. I'll stay there." He stood and walked to the door as Roxas lay back down. "Night Roxas." He reached for the light.

"Hey Riku?"

Riku stopped, his hand frozen in midair.

"Thanks…for staying sober this time."

Riku glanced back and winced slightly when he saw Roxas' bangs resettle over the gash in his forehead. He sighed softly to himself, clicked the light off and shut the door. Roxas was right, he knew. Life would be so much better if he could just stop drinking. He wished he could, but…but then…he'd have to remember…He'd have to remember about…everything. And especially…

"KAIRI!"

Sora sat up in bed, drenched in a cold sweat. His hands shook as he pushed his bangs back away from his face. He shivered and put his head in his hands.

"Not again," he moaned. "Why did I have to dream about it again?" He lay back and stared at the ceiling, his wet hair falling onto his forehead. "Why? Why won't this ever stop?"

Sora glanced up and out the window. It was dawn already – time for a new day.

He got up and changed quickly before heading out the door. He ran over to First District, bought a padlock and key, then came back, adding the new feature to his temporary home.

Once he was done with that, Sora decided to take a nice walk around town. Since he'd gotten there so late the day before, he hadn't really had a chance to take in any of the changes since his last visit.

Traverse Town hadn't changed much, he saw. There were new faces, but that in itself was normal. The shops still looked the same. The main square hadn't changed, except…

Sora stopped when he passed a bulletin board that was a fairly new addition to First District. It looked a lot like the ones they had in Twilight Town. He didn't stop, though, just because it was there. He stopped because of what was on it.

Sora stared at his own photograph, big letters spelling "MISSING" printed above it on the piece of paper. Below was a short description of Sora and how to contact his family if he were found.

Sora walked up to it slowly, placing his hand on top of it. He hesitated, then ripped it down. He crumpled it up and stuffed it in his pocket.

So Leon had been here, too. But that was better. It just meant he wouldn't be back for a while. Sora figured he could wait a couple of weeks and then head back to Radiant Garden for a while. His brother's friends would have forgotten about him then and it would be a good city to hide in.

Sora turned away, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He didn't like running very much. It would be so much easier if he could just hide in a big city like Twilight Town.

Sora stopped. Why not? No one would ever think to look for him there, right? The more he thought about it, the more he liked the idea. He decided to leave within the week.

Once that was decided, he headed home to get better settled in and then maybe look for a temporary job to earn a little extra money.

As he considered it, Sora decided he'd go back, but before that, he had one more place he wanted to go. Someplace he hadn't been in a long, long time…

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A/N: Once again it's shorter than I'd hoped, but I have loads of homework. I put it off for sleep and hang-out time with my brother (who just left about a half an hour ago for the airport to go back to school).

So how's my story going so far? I think Sora's bits are going pretty well. Do you all? I certainly hope so.

Anyhow, just wanted to let you know I probably won't be able to update more than once this week if at all. I have rehearsal for my school's musical every day and then SAT's on Saturday as well as a full-day rehearsal for the musical. I'll do my best though.

Please review so I know what things you like and what you don't. I can't fix anything if no one tells me what's wrong.

Thanks to all of you who read this and double thanks to all those that review.

See you next time!

Eevil Hero


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Sorry it's so short, but I think this is best left on its own. Regular updates to return next week. I only added his because I had some extra time and nothing to do with it.

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Sora had to get off the ship at the main island and row himself over to the smaller one. It was deserted now, which was the complete opposite of what it had been when he was a child. He remembered playing on it with all his friends…Tidus, Wakka, Selphie, Riku…and her.

Sora got out of his tiny boat and walked across the sand, his shoes leaving large, distinct footprints in his wake. The sun was just barely rising over the edge of the sky, making the water shimmer and glow. As a salty breeze passed him, Sora lifted his arms to greet it, eyes closed against the bits of sand hitting his face as the wind carried them by. The air ran through his hair, ruffled his clothes, then moved on again.

After a long moment, Sora lowered his arms and opened his eyes again. He slowly made his way up to beach to the part of the island where he, Kairi, and Riku had made a raft so long ago. He stood and looked out over the ocean, hands in his pockets, eyes unfocused. They'd never made it out to sea on their little raft, but _oh_ how they'd wanted to. Sora wished now that things had never gone wrong. If they'd just left a day earlier than they'd planned, things would be so different now. Kairi might even be there with him, standing on the sandy shore, but then again, he thought, that might be pushing it.

Sora finally turned away and walked back to the "front" of the island, where he and Tidus had practiced their sword fighting so often. He heard sea gulls cawing overhead. Suddenly, Sora regretted coming here. Just walking on the sand was bringing back memories – horribly painful memories. He missed Kairi so much but knew in his heart of hearts that he'd never in his life see her again. Even worse than that was the knowledge that it was all his fault.

Sora hated to admit it, but her voice had begun to leave him, even though it hadn't been all that long since he'd heard it last. Sometimes he even had a hard time picturing her face. Well, that was until he had nightmares about her, screaming in the darkness. He hated that sound more than anything else.

Before he even realized he'd called it, Sora felt the keyblade's cool metal slide into his hand, his fingers curling automatically around the hilt. He glanced down at it, a little surprised. It wasn't his first Keyblade, as he's expected. Instead, it was Oathkeeper. Sora glanced at the end and saw Kairi's good luck charm dangling from the end. He'd given it back to her before but then…

Sora looked away, unable to stare any longer. Then, without allowing himself to stop and think, Sora turned and threw the keyblade away from himself with all his strength. It landed in the sand fifty feet away with a dull _thump._ Then Sora turned and started to walk away, each footstep another tortured memory.

_I've been having…these weird thoughts lately…_

His footfalls were muffled by the sand but even if they weren't he wouldn't have been able to hear them over the sound of his own pounding heart.

_Like…is any of this for real…or not?_

Sora wished with all his might that he could go back and change things, but…

_A dream…a dream of you…in a world without you…_

He felt weighed down more and more with every step and he had to fight to keep his eyes dry. _Kairi…_

_A scattered dream that's like a far-off memory…_

He wanted to tell her so many things that he never could now.

_I want to line the pieces up…yours…and mine…_

How could he go on without her? How had he managed this long? How could he live with himself, knowing it was his fault she was gone?

_All hearts begin in darkness and so all end…I was lost in the darkness…your voice brought me back…_

Sora had reached his little wooden boat, but found that he lacked the strength to climb into in. Instead, he felt his knees give out and found himself on all fours, his hands clenching on the sand.

_A dream…? How is it a dream…if you're not in it?_

_I can't do this without you…_

Finally, after so long of keeping silent, Sora screamed, letting loose all the pain he felt, telling the world the weight in his heart. And has he screamed he wept, because nothing he could do would ever bring her back.

_I didn't want to just forget about you…I couldn't…Our hearts are connected…_

_So now that yours is gone…what's left of mine?_


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Hey guys. Sorry for the long delay. Again. I really didn't intend to do it. After the musical I was just worn out and took some time to recover, but then by the time I got my life back in order, I'd completely forgotten about it. I only remembered because of the anime convention I went to two weeks ago and saw three girls dressed as the 3 main versions of Sora and like 4 Roxas…es. It was awesome. I got a few pictures, so hopefully that'll keep me motivated. It'd also help if people reviewed more often…But here's hoping.

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"Roxas…you feeling okay?"

Roxas rolled over to face away from his older brother.

Riku sighed and pushed his hair back away from his face. He opened his mouth to speak but just then his phone rang. His shoulders slumped slightly as he pulled it out and flipped it open. "Yeah?..." He listened for a long moment. "No…Sorry man…yeah, he's still…Hey, don't be like that! It's not his f-… Yeah I know it's been a while…No. Find someplace else….Yeah. Later." Riku snapped the phone shut with a small grunt of disgust.

"Your friends?" Roxas asked softly, his voice hoarse.

"…Yeah. They wanted to come here-"

At this Roxas started to rise. "I'll just-"

Riku silenced him with a firm hand on his shoulder. "I told them no," he said softly.

Roxas turned to face him and stared. Had he really just heard right?

Riku stood, turning away from his brother and gathering up the dishes on the bedside table. "Well…" he cleared his throat rather awkwardly. "You should get some rest. I'm just…gonna clean this up…"

Roxas didn't like the quiver in his brother's voice. "Riku?"

"Goodnight Roxas." Riku didn't even look back as he left, closing the door firmly behind him, leaving Roxas staring, bewildered, at the place he had just been.

---

Riku retreated into the kitchen and dumped the dishes in the sink. He turned around and ran into the table. He caught himself but immediately let himself fall into a chair. He clenched his fist on the table, feeling very confused.

"Why am I like this all of a sudden?" he asked himself, his voice very low. "Since when do I turn my friends away…? And…since when did I put Roxas first…?" Riku shook his head and leaned down to rest his forehead on the tabletop. He closed his eyes and tried to think. "I guess…I wasn't always such an ass…was I?"

Riku felt someone tickle his cheek and lifted his hand to brush it away, but when his fingers touched his face, all he felt was water. Riku pulled his hand away and stared at it in amazement.

"…I haven't don't _this_ in a while…" he whispered. "I wonder what brought it on…?" Riku sighed and rubbed his face on his arm, wiping away the rest of the offending wetness. "I still remember…the worst time…God, how can I call myself his brother after what I did to him…even if I didn't mean to?"

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"Rikuuuuuuuuu! Rikuuuuuuuu! Where aaaaaaaaaare yoooooooooou? Rikuuuuuu!" Roxas was running faster than he ever knew he could run. Water from that night's shower was still on the streets and it splashed up into his face. Some of the disgusting sludge got in his mouth, but Roxas simply spat it out and kept going.

It was close to four in the morning. An hour before, Roxas had awoken at home to find that Riku was still out somewhere. Annoyed, he'd gone to retrieve his brother from his new friend's house only to find that Riku had supposedly left some odd hours before.

Now, when he was soaked, freezing, and exhausted, Roxas was getting desperate. There was no one around to help, there was just his own intuition and drive keeping him going. If he didn't find his brother…Roxas shuddered at the thought of what might happen to him. Twilight Town was usually a safe place, but times had turned tough and there were more and more dangerous people in the city. Riku could take care of himself usually but…Roxas had smelled the alcohol in the air around the party and knew there was almost no way Riku had resisted the urge to join in the fun.

Roxas stopped suddenly as he passed a narrow alleyway in the heart of the city. It hadn't seemed likely that Riku could have gotten this far, but there was always the chance. He had stopped when something caught his eye. He turned slowly and bent to pick up the shining key. Roxas recognized the little silver object almost at once – it had been Sora's birthday present to Riku. It was a tiny replica of Riku's own Keyblade that had, at one point, been on a chain, but was now without.

Roxas looked up, stuffing the tiny thing into his pocket, eyes wide. All his senses were tingling with the feeling that someone was watching him, but it was too dark to see anything clearly.

Roxas ventured a few steps forward, calling softly. "Riku!" he hissed. "Hey! Riku! You here?"

At the end of the dead end alley, Roxas heard a soft moan and the sound of shifting boxes. He ran forward, sure it was his brother, then stopped dead.

Riku was leaning on a small stack of old crates, half lying on the dirty, rain-soaked street. His clothes were a mess, one of his shoes was missing, and in his left hand he still clutched a half-empty bottle. It looked (and smelled) like he'd already thrown up once or twice.

"Oh man…" Roxas whispered. "Mom's gonna _love_ this." He walked over to stand directly in front of Riku. "Hey, Riku, you okay?"

Riku blinked up at him, eyes barely open, his face half hidden by his dirty hair. "Huh?" He didn't seem to know where he was or even who Roxas was.

Roxas leaned down to try and help him up, but Riku swung at him. Roxas jumped back, but his brother's fist had come close enough to his face that he was sure he felt it graze his nose.

"Riku, hey, calm down okay? I'm just gonna take you home…"

Riku looked up at him and recognition flashed for a brief moment in his eyes. "Oh…Ruksas…"

Roxas smiled. "Yeah, that's right. Come on now, lemme help you home. Then you can lie down." Roxas reached for him one more time and Riku finally let him help him stand up. Riku staggered and Roxas had to catch him and keep them both from tumbling into the street. This was especially difficult because Riku was almost a foot taller than he was. His drunkenness wasn't doing much for him either. Roxas staggered under the weight and found it impossible to walk in a straight line. Riku's own swaying didn't help. Roxas kept being slammed into the wall on his left while he tried to keep Riku away from the wall on their right. After a few minutes, his shoulder felt like it was burning - it hurt so badly. He sighed, trying not to think of the kind of lovely bruise he'd have in the morning there.

They had just reached the main street when Riku threw up again. Roxas jumped out of the way as his brother braced himself on the wall of the building beside him. When the retching finally stopped, Roxas moved forward again to take his brother's arm, but Riku didn't seem to want that.

Roxas sighed inwardly when Riku jumped back. He was acting like a suspicious animal. "Riku, come on now, it won't take that long to…" He broke off with another sigh as Riku stumbled and fell onto the street. Roxas bent down, but this time Riku retaliated.

Before Roxas could stop him, Riku had lifted the bottle in his hand, raising it like a club. Roxas just had time to bring his arm up over his face before Riku brought it crashing down on top of him. Roxas heard the glass shatter and felt the shards splitting his arm and forehead. He bit back a scream – he didn't want to provoke Riku any more. After a moment, Roxas lowered his arm and looked back at his brother. He felt warm blood running in tiny rivulets down his face and blinked it away from his eyes.

"Riku come on…" This time Riku didn't resist when Roxas helped him up – it appeared that he'd worn himself out fighting.

His right arm now wounded, Roxas had no choice but to use his left to support Riku. He had to grind his teeth together to stop from crying out every time Riku bumped into his already abused shoulder. They staggered on and Roxas was pushed into many other things which abused his remaining shoulder. He rolled his eyes. _Great,_ he thought. _Now I'll have another bruise to match._

It took them the better part of an hour to get home. When they finally arrived, Roxas was only just able to unlock the door and get Riku inside. His brother found his way into the tiny living room (after knocking a few more things over on his way) before collapsing onto the already sagging couch.

Roxas closed and locked the door behind him, then headed upstairs. He dragged himself into the bathroom and flicked on the dim light. He was exhausted, but he couldn't go to bed until he'd at least tried to fix himself up.

With his good, left hand, Roxas tried to dislodge the broken glass from his arm and face. He winced, but made himself do it anyway – better to get it out now than to let it get infected and still have to get it out later.

Roxas shrugged out of his now wrinkled and blood-stained jacket, though his tee-shirt was also covered in dirt and blood. He knew he smelled something terrible, but just then he couldn't think about that. He winced at the mere sight of his shoulders – two large, ugly bruises were already forming. He knew from past experience skateboarding that these would take weeks, if not months, to fade. And from the look of the cuts he'd just acquired, he'd have a few more scars now that Riku had had his say in things.

One handed, Roxas clumsily bandaged up his right arm and carefully wrapped more cloth around his head to stop the bleeding if nothing else. When that was done, Roxas washed as much off his face that he could before heading back to his tiny room.

Roxas looked around sadly. Though there was now more room than ever, it seemed so much smaller now that Sora wasn't there. He sighed and laid down, closing his eyes and trying to imagine the sound of his twin's breathing beside him, but it didn't work. If he hadn't been so exhausted, it would have taken him hours to fall asleep.

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The next morning, Roxas woke around eleven. His mother was already gone – at work for the day. At first Roxas felt fine, but then he rolled over onto his side and it all came rushing back painfully as his shoulder screamed out in protest.

Now completely awake, Roxas stood and went into the bathroom, brushing his teeth and attempting to comb his hair a little (which stayed as messy as ever) before he headed downstairs, ready to confront the problem that was Riku.

Roxas emerged on the landing to find that Riku was now sleeping rather soundly on the floor. Disgusted, Roxas went to find some food and wait for his brother to wake up.

Around three in the afternoon, Riku finally opened his eyes and cried out as the sunlight hit him full in the face. Roxas almost smiled – he deserved it – but then shook his head. Riku was his brother; he couldn't think like that.

"Morning Riku!" he called, only a small bit of sarcasm sliding into his otherwise cheerful tone.

Riku muttered something that sounded suspiciously like "F- you," before rolling over, seeking shelter from the sunlight without bothering to open his eyes.

Roxas almost laughed – it was rather funny to see, but then caught himself again. "Nope. Come on big brother, it's past time to get you cleaned up." Roxas went over and lifted his brother up off the floor as best he could. "…_Way_ past time…" he added when he caught his brother's smell in his nose, almost causing him to drop Riku so he could cover his nose. His breath was the worst.

Ignoring Riku's protests, Roxas got him to his feet, ignoring (for now) the stabbing pains in his arm, head, and back and shoulder muscles. He half dragged Riku up the stairs and into the bathroom.

"Lemme…lone…" Riku muttered.

"Can't even string two words together," Roxas commented lightly, determined to keep a cheerful disposition. "I'd say this is the worst you've ever been, dear brother." Roxas turned on the water in the shower, making sure it was nice and freezing before tugging his brother's disgusting shirt over his head. Roxas tossed it aside to be thrown out later – there was no way it could be saved now. He shook his head as Riku tried to focus on his own pathetic image in the mirror. "Alright Riku…" he said, rolling up his sleeves, trying not to think about the task that lay before him. "Let's get you cleaned up."

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Riku only had bite and pieces of memory from that day, but he every time he saw the cuts in his brother's skin he felt guilty. It wasn't as though he knew what he was doing at the time, but that was no excuse.

Riku went down into the kitchen, opened up the fridge, and pulled out a bottle of some very strong-smelling liquid. It wasn't booze, it was some kind of disgusting tea his mother drank now and again, but just then he felt like drinking it. Taking a swig, Riku sat down, propping his feet on the kitchen table. Now that Roxas was taken care of for the moment, he decided to look through the small pile of mail sitting on the table that he'd brought in earlier.

At first, Riku though it was all junk, but then he saw an envelope with very familiar hand-writing. He sat up, his feet slamming down onto the floor. He quickly placed the bottle aside and tore open the envelope and pulled out two things – a letter and yet another envelope. He hastily read the letter and felt his stomach lurch. Then, looking at the other, smaller letter in his other hand, Riku felt himself smile for the first time in what felt like a century.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: I haven't been very good at updating, have I? Lucky for you I've been really bored lately and I can only write so many letters to my brother. Haha. Anyway, I think I have a couple of ideas now, but this story probably won't be that much longer. I don't wanna overdo it, you know? Anyway, thanks for reading, and please PLEASE review. :D This chapter's kinda short, but I'll bet you didn't see the end coming. Haha.

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"Roxas! Roxas wake up!"

"Huh?...No…Gehway…" Roxas tried but failed to push the overenthusiastic person away from him. After a few minutes, Roxas finally opened his eyes enough to glare into his older brother's face. "Wuh izzit?" he muttered, struggling to push himself up in bed.

"It's Sora!" Riku breathed. "Leon's found a lead!"

Roxas slipped and almost fell, but Riku caught him just before he hit the ground and carefully lifted him back up onto the bed. "What?" Roxas gasped. "Did you really just say…?"

"Yeah." Riku nodded to emphasize his point. "Take a look at this!" He handed Roxas Leon's letter.

Roxas only briefly scanned Leon's boring letter, then looked up at Riku again. "What about the other letter?"

Riku handed the small letter to him and Roxas saw that his hand shook slightly but for once it was caused by his own emotions rather than something else. For once Roxas was glad to see the tremor.

He took the letter gently from his brother's hands. "You didn't open it?" he asked, pleased but slightly confused.

"It's addressed to you," Riku said quietly.

Roxas turned it to he could see the writing. He recognized Sora's handwriting instantly. It was hard not to know it when it was almost identical to his own untidy cursive. He had to try hard to keep his hands from shaking as he gently ripped open the top of the envelope. He pulled out the crumpled letter and unfolded it.

"What does it say?" Riku asked, his enthusiasm barely contained.

Roxas stared at it for a moment, then began to read.

_Dear Roxas,_

_Look I…I'm sorry. I know this isn't how we wanted things to happen, but…well…there's nothing I can do at this point. How can I stay with all that darkness hanging around me? Maybe you can handle it but I can't. I have to get out of here._

_I feel sort of guilty, writing this with you lying there asleep on the floor. I can't look at you while I'm writing this because if I do I know I'll never go through with this._

_Roxas I'm leaving. I can't stay here and…I just can't. I hope you of all people will understand. And I don't want you to worry – I'll be fine. Living with Riku and Squall taught me enough about surviving. Besides, it's not like anyone besides you will miss me. Those kids at school will get over it in a week or so when something new and more interesting happens. Of course, I mean to make this look like it wasn't planned. By me, at least. So of course I won't really give this to you. So I guess it isn't really a letter to you – not yet. For now it's just a memory of all the thoughts running through my head before I leave. I'm going tomorrow, Roxas, not tonight, but I don't think my resolve will waver. I hope not, anyway._

_Listen…I…don't know what to say to you. You're more than my brother, you're my best friend Roxas. We're twins, so we're really like one person split into two, you know? This won't be easy for either of us, I know, but…I think it's for the best._

_Since I don't intend for you to ever read this, I might as well tell you where I'm going. I'm going back to Traverse Town. I figure it's at least a start and a pretty good place to hide. With so many going in and out I doubt one kid will be noticed. It's been a couple of years since I was last there and everyone I knew went back to Radiant Garden, so it shouldn't cause me any problems. From there…who knows? Maybe I'll find a new world to live in. Or maybe I'll come back some day, but not until the time is right. Not until I'm ready to face the consequences of my actions._

_Roxas, I hope you'll forgive me. If anyone will, it's you. I know you'll be just fine without me. I know you don't really have any friends right now – not since Hayner left a couple of months ago – but you'll find some other people to hang out with, especially once I'm out of the picture. You know how flamboyant I can be. People seem to like that. I don't know why, since you're a much better person than I could ever hope to be. Everyone seems to think I'm some great hero, but I'm not. My past now proves that as fact._

_I hope one day I can send this to you, so you can know the truth. At least some of it. By the time you read this – assuming you ever do – I would assume everyone would know the truth by now. About Kairi, I mean. Or at least what they think of as the truth. They'd think it was Riku's fault…but it's not. It was my fault. Tell him that for me ok? He had nothing to do with it and he should accept that. I'll explain later, but for now…just tell him to trust me. And tell Squall to lighten up, alright? He's too…Well…I think he'd fit in your old gang perfectly. He can have your place as "Number XIII." He'd fit quite nicely in your old uniform._

_Anyway, enough with that, this is serious... But in any case, I should go. I still have lots to do before I can leave._

_I'm really going to miss you Roxas. Just…don't forget about me, ok?_

_I'll see you around. I hope._

_-Sora_

_P.S. Tell Mom I love her, ok? And Riku and Squall too. With you, it's just a given._

Silence fell over them as Roxas' voice died away.

After a minute or two Riku looked up to meet his brother's eyes. "Roxas…? You okay?"

Instead of answering, Roxas stood. The letter fell limply from his hand and fluttered down onto the floor. Roxas started rummaging around through the piles of things on the floor. He picked up shirts and socks at random, throwing them behind him and onto the bed.

"Roxas, what are you-?"

"What do you think?" Roxas' voice was harsher than Riku had expected. "I'm going after Sora."

"Now?? After all this time?" Riku stared at his brother in disbelief.

"Of course now!" Roxas shot back as he picked up his backpack and dumped his books onto the floor. "We know _something_ now, right? So why _not_ now?"

Riku had to admit that Roxas had a good point, but he wasn't ready to give up so easily. "What about Fuu?"

"What about her?" Roxas spat back.

Riku gave him an odd look. "Don't you care about her?"

The blonde sighed and leaned against the dresser, his head bowed so his hair covered his face. "Of course. She's my only friend. But it doesn't matter now." His voice was deeper, hoarser, now. Riku had rarely heard him sound so serious. "Sora is more important to me than anything. Can't you understand that? Without him…I'm nobody."

Riku stood and made to move toward Roxas, but before he even took one step he stopped. How did you argue with that? Technically speaking, it was true. "But…" he began, in a final attempt to stop him, "what about mom?" That seemed to have had the desired effect. Roxas winced visibly. Encouraged, Riku went on. "You really want her to have to come home to find only _one_ of her four sons? And her most worthless one at that?"

Roxas looked up then, confused. "What do you…?" He couldn't seem to form the right words.

Riku laughed softly. "Oh come on, Roxas. Think about it. I'm the one who's always screwing things up. I'm the one who's…spent most of the year too drunk to know my own name. And there's a chance I might not graduate. What then? What'll happen to me then?"

Roxas stared up into his brother's face for a long, long time, almost as though he were searching for something there. Finally he said, "I can't live your life for you, you know. And I can't fix your mistakes."

Riku smiled but he looked sad. "Well then…just live a good life. At least maybe then I can be vicarious."

Roxas looked away and busied himself with his bag, stuffing things in at random, not daring to speak or look up again for fear or showing his emotions.

When he could find nothing else to pack, he pulled on his shoes and slung his bag over one shoulder. He cleared his throat. "Well…I um…I guess I should…uh…get going then, huh?"

"I guess so…" Riku was staring at the ceiling.

"Well…I'll see you around then…" Roxas turned to go but hesitated for a moment when Riku spoke again.

"Just…" his voice trailed off.

Roxas looked back. "What is it?"

"Just…make sure…that I still have three brothers, ok?"

Roxas' brows knit together. "What…?"

Riku turned his attention to his over-large shoes and gazed at them intently. "Just…promise you'll come back, alright?"

Roxas smiled then. "Yeah, alright. It's a promise." He turned to go once again.

Then, several things happened at once. Just as Roxas reached for the door, it flew open, knocking him back several feet onto the ground. Riku jumped up only to collide with the person who'd come running in. Both of them fell away from each other with sharp cries of pain. There were several muttered curses from each of the three people present in the room. Roxas only got a split second to glance at the newcomer before he was thrown backward, but he thought he recognized the face beneath the spiky brown hair. Almost on cue, he heard Riku's sharp inhale of surprise.

When Roxas looked up he felt his jaw drop as his eyes found the face of his accidental attacker. He thought he'd recognized the person, but actually making eye contact with him was more startling than he'd expected it to be. "B-but…" he stammered weakly, "h-how…?"

Hayner grinned down at his best friend and offered him one calloused hand. "Nice to see you too Roxie."


	15. Chapter 15

PLEASE READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTE. IT'S FULL OF INFORMATIVE GOODNESS.

A/N: Ok, so I said the story was almost over, right? Well, I can do one of two things. I can make it about 30 chapters long (total) but the updates could be few and far between now that school's started again (I had a hectic summer and didn't get _nearly_ as much done as I'd hoped) or I can stretch it out to 20…Hm…It's hard to explain. Each would take a severely different path, both ending about the same way. However, the fact of the matter is that I'm running out of ideas if I haven't run out already (which is entirely possible and now my brain is just playing tricks on me).

There are (apparently, from all the favorites and alerts on this thing) a lot of people who like this story. So to all of you who favorited/alerted/reviewed/or even just read the silly thing, thank you SOOOOOO much for your patience. And seriously, if any of you have ANY ideas, PLEASE don't hesitate AT ALL to share them with me. I'd love to hear them.

Thank you for sticking with me this far. I hope I don't let you down.

Or right. The important part I almost forgot. Please let me know if you want a 30 (meaning 15 more) chapter story in which Sora and Roxas travel a lot (if any of you have seen Kino's Journey, you get the idea) or I could shorten it to 20 (5 more) and quit while I'm ahead. Please let me know. The more of you that tell me, the sooner I can update.

Ok, that's all for now. Enjoy!!

-Eevil Hero

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"Roxie?" Roxas repeated with a noise of protest. "_Please_ tell me that's not the only one of a plethora of nicknames that you remember."

Hayner laughed and pulled Roxas to his feet. "Well no," he admitted, "but it had the desired effect."

"I rather thought it left a lot to be desired," Roxas muttered. He sighed and shook out his shoulders then turned around and retrieved his bag from the floor. "So," he said, facing the wall opposite of Hayner's current position. "What are you doing here?" His voice was flat, almost callous.

This took Hayner by surprise. "Aren't…Aren't you glad to see me?" He sounded deeply hurt.

Roxas flinched, but not enough that either of the others noticed it. "Well…I mean, I _am_ but…"

"But what?" Hayner sounded like he was on the brink of tears. Had it been anyone but Hayner, Roxas would have expected the waterworks already. "I just wanted to surprise you…you know…for yours and Sora's birthday…"

This caught both Roxas and Riku off guard. "Waitwaitwait WHAT?" They both gaped at him.

Hayner looked down at the floor and scuffed the toe of his shoe on the thin carpet. "Well yeah…seeing as it's tomorrow, I figured hey, why not go see my old best friend, you know? Wish him a happy seventeenth birthday…"

Roxas sat down heavily in his desk chair. "My…birthday…"

Hayner looked as surprised as Roxas felt. "What, don't tell me you forgot? Sora will be heartbroken! Forgetting your own brother's birthday…"

Roxas couldn't make himself look away from his laces.

Riku cleared his throat, coming to Roxas' rescue. "Listen…Hayner…you uh…you kinda missed a few things…"

Hayner reluctantly turned his gaze from Roxas to Riku. "W…What do you mean Riku…?"

Riku took Hayner's arm and lead him out of the room. "Come out here and I'll explain." He didn't want to have to say it all plainly in front of Roxas. He didn't need to hear it so bluntly right now.

"Riku, what's going on? Where's Sora?" he asked suddenly, noticing that his friend's twin was not there. "Is he out with Kairi? And Squall, is he home?"

Riku kept shaking his head, trying to decide where to start…it was all just so hard…

"Riku…what happened while I was gone?"

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"Oh my God…" Hayner whispered. He was now sitting on the floor of the hallway, his back against the wall and his head in his hands. "Why didn't anyone ever tell me?"

"What could you have done?" Riku asked softly.

Hayner shook his head. "I don't…I don't _know! Something! Anything!_ I could have _been_ here for him at the very least! Unlike _you._"

Riku sighed. He'd been expecting that. What he hadn't been expecting was the sudden blow to the face or the massive amount of blood that followed. The force of it slammed him into the wall.

Hayner pulled back his fist to strike again, but Riku grabbed his wrist before he could. "Hayner, wait. Seriously! Wait!" Hayner hesitated a moment to let him speak. "Look, I know what I did was wrong, but you have to understand! Sora leaving…Kairi's death…It was all just too much to take. Then Squall…Leon now, left and then mom threw herself into work, Roxas didn't talk to anyone and I just…I couldn't take it anymore…So I didn't take _anything_ any more. Please…I'm not saying you should forgive me, but at least _try_ to understand."

Slowly, painfully, Hayner lowered his arm. "Fine." For good measure, he shoved Riku against the wall, then turned back to return to Roxas' room. He pushed open the door.

"Look man, I'm sorry about everything. I just want to say that I…" Hayner's voice trailed off.

"What's wrong?" Riku came in, wiping the blood away from his nose. The bleeding had stopped but it still hurt. It would probably bruise.

When Riku walked in to the room his question was answered for him. Roxas was gone.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: I just found this. I guess I wrote it over the summer or something? Anyway, it's not much, but it's _something._ I'll put it up, but only cause it's been so long and you guys deserve _something._ Sorry it's been so long. Thanks for sticking with me this far. XD Oh and I have no idea what the first AN says. Just FYI.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: Yeah, I know. Finally an update. Sorry. I'm really bad about that XD I'm thinking once I finish this and maybe another story or two that I've left hanging, I'm just gonna stick to one shots. Sorry about the long wait guys, seriously.

Here's the best I've got right now. My work ethic is down the drain cause I'm graduating from high school in just over a month. For any of you who are/were seniors, you know the feeling. Though I've had senioritis since I was like… 12.

(note: there was a several month gap between the start and end of this chapter. For those who care, I just finished high school on Friday, so 5 days ago. I don't have my actual graduation ceremony until Sunday, but that's just a technicality.)

Anyway, here's the next chapter in Memories Best Forgotten. Enjoy.

**Note: there's some pretty strong language later in the chapter. Sorry XD**

--

Roxas walked down the streets, confused and angry, mostly at himself. He felt stupid for storming out like that, but what else could he have done? Even though Hayner and Riku were out in the hall, he could hear them clearly. And he couldn't stand listening to the whole story all over again. It was just too painful. So he'd grabbed his stuff and run out.

He didn't know where to go. Didn't even know where to start. Traverse Town, he supposed. But Sora could have been lying in his letter or, if he hadn't, he could still have left by now. He could be _anywhere._

Before he realized where he was going, Roxas found himself at the train station. He stood there and stared at the doors leading inside. He knew that if he wanted to leave he had to go to the flight platform on the other side of town and the best and fastest way to get there was by train. But he couldn't make his feet move. He had the means and the motivation, but for some reason he just couldn't go through with it. It was killing him, not being able to move, but no matter how hard he tried there was just nothing he could do.

--

"Where do you think he went?" Hayner called as he and Riku ran.

"Train station? It's the best way to get anywhere."

The two of them ran as fast as they could, hoping that Roxas' train hadn't come yet or that he'd had been some sort of delay in getting to the station to begin with. If he was already on a train, there was no telling how far or in what direction he was going.

They got there not too long afterwards and headed straight for the steps, but before they got inside, Hayner realized something. "Riku wait!"

Riku stopped and turned, his feet still in their places on the stairs. "Why?" he demanded, but then he saw why.

Roxas' things were lying on the ground, forgotten. Riku walked over and pulled out his brother's wallet and checked the amount inside. "He didn't take any out, so he must not have gotten on the train," he said, confused. If he hadn't left, where had he gone?

"Where do you think he went?" Hayner asked, voicing Riku's thoughts. "And why did he leave all his stuff?"

Riku shook his head. "I don't…" He looked up, a sudden though occurring to him. "…I think," he said slowly, "that I know where he went. Come on."

--

Roxas was standing on the tiny bridge, facing the river. In one hand he held Sora's letter. His eyes were distant, unfocused. He looked pensive but at the same time like he was about to cry.

Hayner took a couple of steps toward him, but Riku caught his shoulder. "Let me talk to him," he said quietly.

Riku approached him slowly, hands in his pockets, but his eyes alert, watching Roxas for any signs of movement. He inched closer and closer until he was standing at Roxas' shoulder.

"Rox?" he said very quietly.

The blond looked around, hardly even startled. "How did you know I was here?" he asked. His voice was steady despite the tears in his eyes.

Riku barely even smiled. "I know you well enough to know what would be on your mind."

Roxas looked down at the river again. "I wanted to go Riku… I wanted so badly to find him that I didn't even think. But then… I just remembered… where all of this started. And then I just couldn't leave… not without coming here."

Riku reached out and gently squeezed Roxas' shoulder. "You two should stop blaming yourselves for what happened. It was just an accident."

Roxas shook his head. "It's not that simple Riku… How can you excuse it just by saying 'Oh, it's okay. It was just an accident?' This kind of thing deserves more of an explanation than that. Kairi's family deserves more than that…"

Riku's expression fell and turned to one of immense sadness. Roxas had only been an innocent bystander, and yet he even blamed himself for this. He couldn't even begin to imagine how Sora felt.

As though in answer to Riku's unspoken words, Roxas went on. "It was the only time where I couldn't completely understand how Sora was feeling. He cried himself to sleep every night for months and all I could do was hold him… tell him it was okay… and try to convince him he wasn't at fault. But nothing ever worked. So then I got to thinking… maybe it was his fault. Maybe he was right. But then… I didn't try to stop them, so wouldn't that make it my fault too? And then… next thing I knew… he was gone… and I just…" He hung his head, hiding his face from Riku's view.

For a moment, Riku wasn't sure what to do. His mind was racing. Had the twins really gone through all of that without anyone else finding out? On the surface, Roxas had seemed almost unaffected by Kairi's death and Sora… well… he'd acted about the same as everyone had expected, but then he had appeared to be doing better. Apparently that was just a ruse.

Riku made up his mind and in one smooth movement forced Roxas to turn and face him and grabbed his brother by both shoulder.

"Roxas, look at me… _Look at me!"_ He waited until Roxas gingerly lifted his head before he continued. "This was _not_ your fault. It was not Sora's fault. It was just an accident. Kairi had an accident. There was nothing anyone could have done. If you or Sora had jumped in when she fell, you'd be dead now too. There was _nothing you could have done._ _Nothing._ And it wasn't your fault that Sora left. He would have done that regardless of anything you might have done. _None_ of this was your fault, Roxas. _None of it._ So just… come home with us, ok?" It was a lame ending, but it was all he could think of. Riku wasn't used to doing this kind of thing.

But something he had said had apparently worked. Roxas blinked once, twice, three times but then his tears spilled over, running freely down his face. Before Riku knew what was happening, Roxas threw himself into his brother's arms and sobbed.

Riku was stunned. Nothing like this had ever happened before and he didn't know how to react. His instincts told him he was supposed to his Roxas and say something amazing and comforting, but he could only manage to do the first of those things. But instead of helping, that only seemed to make Roxas' crying worse. Riku was at a total loss.

"I miss him so much Riku." It took a moment for Riku to interpret the words through Roxas' ragged breathing. "I can barely even _stand_ it. It hurts too much."

"I know…" he said, that being the only thing he could think to say. He let Roxas carry on for a bit, then turned, pulling Roxas to his side, one arm still firmly around the smaller boy's shoulders. "Let's go home, shall we?" he asked, looking regretfully at the broken railing that had never been fixed after Kairi's fall.

Roxas nodded and swiped angrily at his own tears. "Sure… I guess so…"

Riku lead him away, back the way they'd come. Hayner followed a few steps behind them, Roxas' bag over one shoulder.

--

When they got home, it was to find another surprise waiting for them. The brothers and Hayner walked in the door to find three pairs of shoes that hadn't been there when they'd left. Riku and Roxas recognized one pair instantly.

"Leon?" Riku called into the house.

"Kitchen!" came the reply.

Roxas even managed to smile at Riku a little before they walked toward the sound of their older brother's voice.

The two walked into the kitchen to find Leon sitting at the table, his duffle bag at his feet. With him were the girls Riku recognized as Aerith and Yuffie.

Leon smiled at the sight of them but then his look changed instantly to concern when he saw Roxas. He was on his feet in a second.

"What happened?" He crossed the room in two strides and looked expectantly from one brother to the next. "Riku, what happened?"

Riku grimaced. "A lot of things," he replied, a little bit of sarcasm sliding unexpectedly into his voice.

"Here." It was the first time Roxas had spoken since they'd left the river almost a half an hour before. He handed the now very crumpled letter to Leon, who read it over quickly, recognizing it at once. He turned to look sadly at Roxas. He glanced at Riku, who understood at once. Riku released Roxas and let Leon lead him upstairs. As he passed him, Leon gently punched Hayner's arm by way of greeting. Hayner smiled but it was tainted by the atmosphere of the whole place.

Riku turned to their other two guests. "Aerith?" he asked, looking at the girl with the long, braided brown hair and the pink dress. She nodded. "So that makes you Yuffie?" he continued, turning to the dark-haired ninja. She, too, nodded. "I'm Riku," he said. "And this is Hayner." He inclined his head in the other boy's direction. The two girls murmured words of greeting.

"Did you three just get into town?" Riku continued.

It was Aerith who answered. "Yes. After he sent you that letter, Leon scoured the whole city again. We were in Traverse Town when he got it. We didn't expect to find anything, but he insisted we look anyway. Then he decided he'd better come home." She paused, thinking for a moment. "That was Roxas, then?" Riku nodded. "Is he alright?"

Riku sighed and sat down in one of the vacant chairs around the table. He rubbed his eyes wearily. "Honestly? I have no idea. Sora could be anywhere. He could even be dead for all we know. It's been killing Roxas, we all knew it was. But he was finally doing better… and then this had to happen. It made it all fresh again. It made it all real, all that much more painful all over again." He sighed. "Though he took it just a little better than I thought he would." He shook his head sadly. "I thought it would make him happy, you know? Hearing from Sora after all this time. I never figured it would be… well… like this…"

Hayner sat down next to Riku, his face grave. He couldn't seem to look up form the floor. "I think I should go," he said quietly through the heavy silence that followed Riku's words.

Riku shook his head. "I think it'll help him if you stay," he told him. "But we'll understand if you'd rather leave. This is all new to you. It's a lot more than most people would be willing to take on."

Hayner shook his head. "No. I just thought… I don't know… maybe only family should be here. Or something like that… If it'll help Roxas then I'll stay."

Yuffie spoke for the first time then. "Leon's been gone a long time. What do you think he's doing with Roxas?" She glanced up at the ceiling as though it would answer her question.

Riku shrugged. "Probably just talking to him. Leon's the closest thing we ever really had to a father, you know. Roxas will listen to him."

"I hope you're right," Aerith said quietly. "Otherwise there's no telling what Roxas might do."

--

"Roxas, are you alright? You look really pale."

Roxas shook his head and sat down on Leon's bed. The room hadn't been used in a long time, but Roxas had kept it clean and relatively free of dust. He was glad of that now. He didn't want to go to his and Sora's room and Riku's was still a bit of a mess. This place was more like a sanctuary to him than anywhere else.

"Do you want me to get you something?" Leon offered.

Roxas shook his head again. "I'm fine. Really." He wiped his sweating and tear-soaked face with his sleeve.

Leon let it be for now, knowing Roxas was just going to be stubborn if he insisted. "So," he prodded gently, taking a seat beside his younger brother, "do you wanna tell me what happened today?"

Roxas shrugged. "Nothing."

Leon lightly rested his large, calloused hand on Roxas' shoulder. "You wanted to go after him."

Roxas said and did nothing, just stared determinedly at his shoes.

The hand squeezed his shoulder slightly. "It's alright to want to see him."

"But I was wrong to leave. I shouldn't have done that. I know better than this. I _am _better than this. I shouldn't be this effected…"

Leon frowned. "What do you mean?"

Roxas looked up to meet his eyes, but this time there was a different look in them than the sadness from before. Now all Leon could see was anger. "Sora left me and hasn't come back."

Leon's frown deepened, evidence of his incomprehension. "Yes I know that…" he said slowly, trying to make sense of this.

"He hasn't come back because it doesn't matter to him that I'm not there."

A look of understanding passed over the brunet's face. "Roxas…" he said gently.

"No!" Roxas stood up, pulling away from the comfort his brother was trying to give him. "He _left_ me here to rot while he goes off to God only knows where and he doesn't come back! And d'you know _why_ he doesn't come back? Because he doesn't _want_ to come back! He doesn't _need_ to come back because he doesn't need _me_ anymore! I'm _nothing_ to him because if I was _something_ he'd get his sorry ass back here to see me! He's supposed to be my brother! Hell, you're _all_ supposed to be my brothers! And look at you! My own _twin_ abandons me and then _you_ leave me here with the biggest _drunk_ in Twilight Town! And not only that, but then I have to deal with everyone else hating me for _no reason_ while I'm trying to keep myself together and make sure _mom_ doesn't fall apart – you didn't forget her too did you? – on top off all this other _shit_ that I have to deal with _every day_ and you know what? _I've had it._ I'm through with you and the rest of this whole twisted family. I hate it! I hate all of you and this whole stupid fucking town and the stupid fucking people in it! And I just… I don't even know! Gah!" He yelled in frustration. He wanted to hit something, break something. He wanted to hurt someone until they felt as horrible as he did. But there was only Leon. And despite all he'd said, he knew none of this was Leon's fault. He didn't want to hit Leon. Hell, he didn't even want to hit _Riku_. Not now. Not after all that had happened. It just... wasn't worth it.

Before Leon could respond, before he could even move, Roxas turned and headed for the door. Before he could reach it, however, Leon jumped up and grabbed his arm, though unfortunately it was his injured arm. Roxas cried out in pain and Leon instantly let go. He hadn't noticed the bandages until that moment. "Are you alright?" he asked, concerned.

"I'm fine!" he snapped. But then he seemed to get ahold of himself. "I'm fine," Roxas muttered again, gently rubbing his injured arm with his good hand. He flexed the muscles in his hand, testing it. Satisfied, he looked up at Leon, his anger burning itself out enough for him to feel ashamed. He felt his face heat up and he looked away.

Leon took his by the shoulders, much as Riku had, and looked his brother in the eyes. "It's alright to be angry," he said gently. "And it's alright to be upset." His voice dropped even further for his next words. "It's okay, you know. You don't have to be strong anymore."

Roxas didn't speak. He couldn't. He wouldn't even be able to begin to find the words. He felt like crying all over again, but he forced himself not to. He was too sick and tired of it all to even think about it.

Leon seemed to understand, however, and lead Roxas back over to the bed and sat him down. "If I leave you here, will you promise to stay?"

Roxas, now thoroughly devoid of all energy, nodded in earnest. All he felt like doing was sleeping. He felt like he was on a roller coaster of emotions, like the ones they always talk to you about in health class. But being on one so violent and drastic in such a short amount of time that it had taken all that was left out of Roxas. He laid down on Leon's bed and curled up on his side.

Seemingly satisfied with this, Leon turned to leave the room. "Come get me if you need anything ok? We're just downstairs."

Roxas nodded, wanting very much to be left alone to wallow in his misery.

Leon seemed to understand this and turned to go. "Don't worry Rox," he said, smiling just slightly. "We'll fix this for you. I promise. You don't have to worry anymore. We've got your back again."

As he left, Leon really couldn't be sure, but he was almost certain that for a moment, just a fraction of a second, he saw Roxas smile.

--

A/N: Alright! Update very yes! Finally right? Sorry about the wait. I was looking through my files and saw the first few pages of a new chapter, so I figured I would finish it. I was fighting with my best friend so I needed a way to de-stress myself. Lucky you huh? Haha. I'm going to college in a week so I don't know when the next update will be, but the story is starting to wind down so hopefully I won't drag it out too much longer XD This took an unexpected turn, so hopefully it'll be easier to make it go the way I want now. …Hopefully…….. XD

As always, thanks for reading!

Until next time!

- Eevil Hero


	17. Chapter 17

Leon entered the kitchen again to find everyone sitting in silence, even Yuffie, and that was saying something. They all looked up at the sound of his footsteps.

"How is he?" Aerith asked gently.

Leon leaned against the doorframe and sighed. "I don't know. He's been through so much lately… I think he finally snapped."

Aerith nodded. "We heard him yelling…"

Leon grimaced, then turned to face Riku, who flinched infinitesimally, knowing what his brother was about to ask. "Riku, you're the only one who's been here with him this whole time. Can you tell me what's happened to him? And where did he get those injuries?"

"Well…" he began, not sure how to explain, "he doesn't talk to anyone at school. Or rather, no one talks to him. Not since Hayner left. Well, except for this Fuu girl. I thought they were getting along pretty well, but then he suddenly lost interest. I don't know why… I think… she just wasn't good enough for him. Because all he really wants is Sora…"

Leon's face fell. "So he's been isolated this whole time? Whether he's the cause of it or not, that's not what I wanted to hear." He sighed, thinking for a moment. "What about those injuries?" he asked again. "He wasn't bullied or anything was he, Riku?" He sounded skeptical. Roxas wasn't one to let himself be pushed around.

Riku couldn't meet Leon's eyes. He stared at the floor. His face heated up when he felt everyone's eyes on him.

"Riku?" Leon asked again expectantly.

"I… um…" Riku's voice was so soft it was almost inaudible. "I… I gave them to him… It was… an accident…" He said lamely. Then he hung his head in shame. The last thing he wanted to see was Leon's face right now.

Silence fell. Hayner, who already knew this, shifted uncomfortably. Aerith and Yuffie were watching Leon intently. Leon, however, said nothing.

After a few agonizing minutes of silence, Riku looked up, hesitant and afraid. Leon met his eyes, his own hard, then shook his head in disgust. "You're supposed to be his brother," he said coldly. "I left because I thought you would _protect_ him. That you would _help_ him. So then I come home to find out that all you did was make things _worse?_ Tch." He looked away from Riku, breaking the stare that Riku couldn't make himself turn away from. "I should pummel you," he growled darkly. "Though it looks like someone already tried." He was referring to the slowly spreading bruise that had been left by Hayner's attack earlier.

Riku said nothing. There was no way for him to defend himself.

Silence fell over them again, heavy and oppressive. Yuffie and Hayner shifted uncomfortably, feeling out of place. Aerith continued to watch Leon who was determinedly not watching Riku.

After the silence continued for a very long time, Aerith opened her mouth to break it. Before she could speak, however, someone else broke the silence for her.

Hayner stood, his chair squeaking unpleasantly on the floor as it slid back. "I'm gonna go check on Roxas," he said. "I don't think we should leave him alone too long right now."

Leon grunted in response and watched him go, more for something to do than anything.

"So… you said he was Roxas' best friend before?" It was the first time Yuffie had spoken. The Leonharts looked at her while Aerith continued to watch Leon.

Leon answered first. "Yeah. His only friend really, until his family left town."

Yuffie nodded. "So it must have been pretty hard when he left, huh? It's probably a good thing he's here right now. Did you guys ask him to come back?"

Leon looked to Riku for the first time since his confession, but only because he didn't know how to answer her question.

Riku shook his head. "No. He came back on his own. It's the twins' birthday tomorrow. He wanted… to surprise them… He didn't know anything until her got here."

"Oh, so he's the one who socked you?" Leon shot at Riku.

Riku did his best not to sneer. He knew he deserved this. But before he could respond, something else caught their attention.

All four of them looked up at the ceiling, in the direction of the scream now coming from the second floor.

"LEON! RIKU! GET UP HERE _**NOW!!"**_

The brothers didn't so much as look at each other before bolting for the stairs. Leon reached them first but Riku was right on his tail, the girls not too far behind them. They took the stairs a few at a time, making a mad dash for the place where they'd hear Hayner's voice.

"IN HERE!" Hayner yelled when he heard their approach. "ONE OF YOU CALL AN AMBULANCE! QUICK!"

Aerith skidded to a halt and ran back toward the phone at the end of the hall, having left her cell phone back in the kitchen. She almost tripped when she forced herself to come to an immediate halt and fumbled with a phone for a moment before dialing the number.

The other three skidded to a halt just outside the bathroom door. Riku collapsed at the sigh inside. Leon felt his heart stop dead in his chest.

Hayner was kneeling on the tiled floor, his eyes wide with panic. There was blood everywhere. Roxas was unconscious in his arms, his eyes closed and his body limp. A pocketknife lay a few inches away from his hand, open and bloody. To their horror, there were two huge gashes in Roxas' wrists. A note lay in the bathroom sink and on the envelope there was only one name…… Sora.

xXx

A/N: This was not actually how I intended the chapter to end. Like not at all. But as I was writing it, I suddenly felt the urge to give it this kind of a twist. If it seems sudden, trust me, it's not. All will be explained. :P

Thanks, as always, for reading.

Reviews are always appreciated. :D

Until next time!

-Eevil Hero


	18. Chapter 18

Leon did _not_ want to be doing this. He knew he should be in the hospital with the others… wit Roxas… but he knew that someone had to do this and that it should almost certainly be him.

With a sigh, he walked up to the door of the house and knocked. He waited a moment, then heard heavy footfalls coming toward him from the other side of the door. He took a deep breath as it opened.

"Squall?" The man before him looked surprised.

Leon attempted a smile. "Hey Cloud. Long time no see, eh?"

Cloud grinned. "Yeah, come on in! How ya been man?"

Leon's face fell again. "Cloud wait." He could usually let himself go a little when he was around his old friend, but this time his serious attitude stayed firmly in place.

Cloud frowned slightly, looking concerned now. "What happened?" he asked seriously. "Is it your brother? The one you went looking for?"

Leon shook his head. "No. It's Roxas. The twin of the one I was looking for."

Cloud's face fell. "…You're here to see Fuijin, aren't you?"

Leon nodded gravely.

Cloud sighed heavily. "I was afraid of that." He stepped back to let Leon in. This time the other man walked in without hesitation. Cloud turned and led the way into the kitchen. "Do you have time to wait for her? She's out with a couple of friends right now."

Leon grunted in the affirmative.

They reached the kitchen and Cloud gestured for Leon to sit down in one of the nearest chairs. After asking if Leon wanted anything and getting a negative response, he took one himself.

"So what happened?" Cloud asked. "Is he alright?"

Leon shook his head. "I don't really know. A few hours ago he tried to commit suicide."

Cloud ran a hand over his face. "Oh man… That's…" He seemed at a loss for words. "Intense…" He looked very troubled by the news. "But you said _tried_, right? Not succeeded?"

Leon nodded. "His friend Hayner found him in time."

"Thank God," Cloud muttered. "So you came here to tell Fujin?"

"That… and to ask if she knows anything."

Cloud frowned again. "Anything about what?"

Leon shrugged. "I'm not sure, exactly. Riku – one of my other brothers – said they were friends. I thought she might know something about… I don't know. When this started maybe? Or how we can help him? Anything that might be useful. But mostly just to tell her. Riku seemed to think they were more than just friends. Knowing Roxas, I doubt it. But she might feel more strongly than he does."

"This is some pretty intense shit, you know," Cloud said seriously.

"I know." Leon fell silent for a moment, then changed the subject slightly. "Cloud… you were stationed in Midgar until just recently, right?"

"Mm," Cloud replied. "But they've been sending me everywhere lately, checking up on a few things here and there. Why?"

"That's what I thought…" Leon's eyes were slightly unfocused as though he were lost in thought.

"Were you wondering if I'd seen Sora?"

"No," Leon said slowly, dragging himself away from whatever thought had grabbed him. "If you had I'm sure you would have told me." Cloud nodded. "I was wondering if you'd ever met this man before." As he spoke, he pulled a photograph out of his pocket and slid it across the table to the blond.

Cloud picked it up and studied it. "When was this? Roxas looks younger here."

"A few years ago, back when he was still in that gang. Or whatever it was."

"So you're looking for his friend?"

"Yeah. I was wondering if you'd ever come across him. He's pretty hard to miss."

Cloud thought for a moment. "Yeah, I think so. His name is…. Axel?" Leon nodded. "Yeah. I remember him. It's hard to forget him. He looks a lot like Reno. And he helped me break up a few fights. But I'd have to think for a minute about where it was…." He fell silent, for a moment, then nodded to himself. "Yeah, I think it was around the World that Never Was? Or something like that. That place doesn't show up too often. And then I think I saw him again someplace else. Hollow Bastian maybe? Before if got fixed up again."

"Do you have any idea how I can contact him?"

"Maybe. I probably took his information for the records for SOLDIER or something like that, since he helped me out. I said they might pay him for helping me. I think they did, actually. I can check, ask around. They keep pretty good records. I'll call first thing in the morning."

"Thanks." Leon leaned his head back and closed his eyes, feeling very tired all of a sudden.

"How are you holding up man? It must be tough…"

Leon sighed. "I don't even know how I am. I get back into town after months of trying to track down Sora only to find that Roxas has been having the worst time of it and to witness his attempted suicide. I find out Riku's an abusive drunk and God only knows what else and now I have to fix all these problems. I think it won't even sink in properly. The whole thing is just… so sudden for me."

Cloud didn't know what to say. Before the silence grew too long, however, the front door opened and three cheerful voices drifted toward them through the hall.

"Cloud? I'm back!"

"In here Fuu," Cloud called back.

Fujin appeared a few moments later with three boys right behind her. The first was a large, rather stupid looking one that Leon recognized as Raijin. The shortest one was barely tall enough to reach Fuu's waist, though his yellow hat was much taller. His face was concealed beneath the collar of his dark coat. This one's name was Vivi. And the third was an average sized boy with spiky blond hair that had been shoved under a black cap. His clothes were… interesting, to say the least. Leon had to admit that he'd liked Seifer's clothes better back at the Academy when they'd all worn uniforms. Even though Seifer was several years behind him, he was a difficult person to forget.

Fuu smiled pleasantly at Leon when she saw him. "Oh, hey," she said politely. "I didn't know Cloud had a friend over. We'll go upstairs if you-"

"That won't be necessary," Leon cut in. He stood and turned to face her. "I actually came to talk to you."

She looked confused. "I'm sorry… do I know you?"

Leon shook his head. "My name is Squall Leonhart. I'm Roxas' oldest brother."

A look of understanding spread across her face. "Did you find Sora?" she asked hopefully.

Leon silently shook his head.

"Then… what is it?... Is it Roxas? Is he alright?" An edge of panic came into her tone.

"Maybe," Leon said kindly, "you'd better sit down."

xXx

Hayner was sitting with Yuffie and Aerith in the hospital, Roxas' note clutched in his shaking hands. Riku had disappeared somewhere just a short time before. Leon still wasn't back from the Strife's yet, but that was no surprise. No one had any idea how long that was supposed to take.

He hadn't been there too long. He'd left shortly after they stabilized Roxas and had gone home to shower and change his clothes. He's been almost completely covered in blood. There were still traces of it caught in his hair, but he didn't want to think about it. He hadn't taken the time to get it all out – he just wanted it off of his skin – before rushing back to the hospital. Roxas still hadn't woken up, so he was sitting there, waiting, trying not to think but at the same time not being able to stop.

He could feel Aerith watching him but chose to ignore her. He really didn't want her to worry about him or ask him any questions. Both were just bothersome at the moment.

She, however, didn't seem to think so.

"Hayner?" she asked gently, breaking his train of thought.

"Hm?" He kept staring straight ahead, watching the merging of floor and wall with much more intensity than it deserved.

"Did you read his note?"

He looked up then, startled. The thought hadn't even occurred to him. It was addressed to Sora, after all. "No," he said honestly.

"Do you think maybe you should?" she asked.

At first he thought she was saying so because she was simply curious. But then he noticed that not once had she glanced at the envelope. Instead, she was gazing directly into his eyes, watching closely. He realized then that she was just concerned and was trying to help.

Hayner shook his head then. "No. Whatever it says here is meant for Sora to read, not me. I don't really know why… but I feel like neither of them would want me to read it. I doubt I'd understand it anyway."

"What makes you say that? You're his best friend, aren't you?"

Hayner paused for a moment, thinking. "Yes… and no…"

Her brow furrowed slightly. "What do you mean?"

Hayner sighed. He hated having to explain this. "I mean that, yes, of all his friends I am his 'best friend.' But think about it. He did all this for Sora. He went through all of this _because of_ Sora and even so he still loves him. He wants Sora around more than he wants anyone else. They're brother. They're _twins_. But even more than that, they're extremely close friends. I didn't think anyone could ever get between them. They were almost always together. And when they weren't, you could see it in their faces that they wanted to be together. They didn't feel like themselves when they were separated. It's not really surprising, I guess. But then… when Sora just up and left… I can't even begin to imagine how Roxas felt…" He paused, then shook his head. "It's insane, I know. But it must have just tortured him. He probably thinks it's his fault Sora left somehow. We all know it's not, but when you're on the outside things looks different than when they're happening to you, you know? And on top of Sora leaving, he had to deal with all of Riku's shit. And then people blamed him for Sora leaving and Kairi's… accident… and he was all alone. His brother beat him and ignored him and… it would be too much for _anyone_, you know? I'm surprised he's done so well for so long."

"Why do you think this happened now?" Her voice was gentle, kind.

Hayner shook his head. "I don't know. I guess… it all just hit him again when he got that letter… that even Sora left him. His own twin abandoned him when he needed him most. Everyone else hated him. I guess… he felt like Sora did too. But there was always the chance that… I don't even know, really. Maybe Roxas thought Sora left for a better reason than he did. For something more important. That maybe he was coming back. But in that letter… he said something like he wanted to just get away from everything. I think Roxas took it as Sora wanting to get from everything, including him. And he just… snapped." He looked up at Aerith then, his eyes terribly sad. "He must have hated himself for so long… Part of me thinks he believed he deserved everything that's happened to him. And when you think about it like that… is it really a surprise that he's let it come to this?"

"…No…" Aerith said very quietly. "I don't suppose it is." She shook her head. "That poor boy…"

Hayner fell silent again, but something was eating away at him. It took him a long time to figure out exactly what it was. When he realized it though, he wasn't sure he should ask it.

"Is something bothering you?" Aerith asked him, as though she'd been reading his thoughts.

He sighed. "You're awfully perceptive."

She chuckled, but it was very half-hearted. "Leon hates it too." She smiled but it faded quickly. "What's wrong?"

He hesitated, then decided just to tell her. It wasn't like she could do anything about it anyway. "What do you think would happen if Sora came back? I don't know why he would now, but… they've always been able to tell what the other one was feeling, even if they weren't close. I don't know who it works, so maybe there's a distance limitation? Anyway. What I don't understand is… how could Sora be so selfish? He must have known what his leaving would do to Roxas. So why won't he come back? He has to know… he _has_ to. I guess I just… don't understand." He paused to recollect his thoughts for a moment, then continued. "And what would happen if Sora really did come back? How would that effect Roxas?"

"Wouldn't he be happy?" Aerith asked, confused. "That would fix everything, wouldn't it? That's what he wants, isn't it?"

"I'm not sure…" Hayner said slowly. "Because… Roxas has been hurt by Sora. Badly. I'm not sure that Sora coming back wouldn't just make it worse. A living reminder to Roxas that, in his mind, he wasn't good enough. He'd think Sora just came back to help him because he felt guilty, not because he was concerned. Because… I don't think Roxas believes Sora loves him anymore. Hell, I'm not sure I believe it myself. And if I don't even believe it…" He broke off, but Aerith didn't press him. She understood what he meant without him having to explain.

"I suppose," she said after a moment, "that all we can do now is hope we're wrong." She turned to look at Roxas. He was half concealed behind a curtain, but it didn't matter. He hadn't moved since they'd brought him here, so she knew what he looked like. He was beautiful, even so close to death as he had come. But even in his state he looked terribly sad. Sadder than anyone should ever have to be. Like he was more alone in the world than anyone despite all the people that were around him. And the one thing that made it so much worse was the fact that they all knew he'd done nothing at all to deserve it.

xXx

Leon and Cloud were walking together toward the hospital quite some time later. Fuu had gone off with her friends somewhere to "adjust" to what had happened. Leon didn't really blame her for not going with them to the hospital, but he had to admit, it made him angry. Even Riku had said Fuu was Roxas' friend, and even she had abandoned him. Leon knew he himself was not free of guilt, but he was here now when Roxas needed him. That was the part that mattered. And where was she? Off with new friends that she thought were better than Roxas. Cloud had said he wanted to come. He liked Roxas and he wanted to support Leon and his family. He'd also successfully tracked down Axel. Even he was coming. But not Fuu. And Leon didn't like it.

His bad mood was not improved, however, when they came across a group of kids who looked to be about Roxas' or Riku's age. They were talking loudly amongst themselves, as teens are known to do. But that wasn't what bothered Leon. No, what bothered him was the content of their conversation.

The biggest and stupidest of them all was, of course, the loudest. "-and I heard no one even cares. The stupid bastard tries to kill himself and that girl he was always hanging around won't even go see him. He really is worthless, isn't he?"

A couple of the kids, mostly girls, looked uncomfortable, but not many. Some even laughed along with him.

Leon didn't even need to hear the rest of the conversation to know what they were talking about.

Before Cloud could stop him, Leon had walked casually forward, lifted the kid into the air and slammed him into a wall. "You wanna say that again?" he growled.

The kid's eyes were wide. "H-hold on a minute mister. I d-didn't mean nothin' by it, I swear I didn't!"

Leon shoved him harder into the wall. "Like _hell_ you didn't." His eyes were wild, dangerous. "Don't you ever talk about my brother like that again you pathetic little bastard."

"Squall, what are you doing!" Cloud practically shouted. He tried to get Leon off the kid, but Leon would have none of it.

He threw off his friend easily. "Leave it Cloud," he snapped. From the changes in their facial expressions, Leon knew the kids realized who they both were. The pair of them were pretty well known in this town. He turned back to the shaking boy in his hold. "I know your type," he said. "And I don't like it. In fact, I hate little pieces of shit like you who think they're better than everyone else." He shifted and threw him onto the ground behind him. "You're not even worth the rope to hang yourself." He shook himself out and turned to go. "Come on Cloud."

Cloud took a couple of steps forward to follow Leon, but then the kid got up. He looked livid. He ran toward Leon and tried to attack him from behind, but Leon was better at fighting than he was. Leon turned and moved out of the way at the last second, making his would-be attacker stumble. Leon took advantage of this momentary weakness and retaliated, knocked him on the back of the neck, rendering him unconscious instantly.

The other boys in the group didn't take too well to this. They seemed pretty angry about Leon knocking out their little with very minimal effort. From what they said, it sounded like the kid's name was Luke. Not that it mattered.

They all tried to attack Leon at once. It was seven, maybe eight, to one. Leon was good, but he wasn't quite that good. Cloud jumped in without hesitation and started fighting alongside his friend, but even so it was hard to get them all.

Eventually, however, Leon and Cloud were the victors. Cloud's nose was bleeding, probably broken, and Leon's left shoulder and been dislocated, but once he snapped it back in he had no other pressing injuries.

"If _any_ of you ever so much as _look_ at my brother wrong again," he growled threateningly at the retreating boys, "you'll think this was _nothing."_ That said, he and Cloud walked away. No one followed them.

Cloud didn't say anything for a while. He was afraid to, to be honest. Leon looked livid.

"What?" Leon finally snapped, rounding on him.

"What what?" Cloud asked, eyes wide with innocence.

"You've done nothing but stare at me since we left. It's annoying as hell."

Cloud shook his head. "I'm worried about you man," he said honestly. "You totally snapped back there, you know? Not that they didn't deserve it…" he added thoughtfully. "But that's not the point." His expression became much more serious now. "Are you alright Squall?"

Leon sighed, his anger fading a little. This wasn't Cloud's fault after all. "You're the only one who still calls me that," he pointed out, but without much feeling in his own words. To be honest, he really didn't want Cloud to call him Leon, but he couldn't really explain why.

Cloud sensed that Leon just wanted to drop the subject and let it go. He'd talk about it when he was ready and pushing him now would only make things worse. Several years in school together had taught him a lot about Leon's little behavior quirks. They continued on in silence for a few more minutes.

"When is Axel supposed to get into town?" Leon asked, wanting the silence to be broken for once.

Cloud checked his watch. "Soon, I think. Within the hour. He left the second I called and said he was taking the fastest flight over by Gummi Ship. He wasn't too far from here, so it shouldn't take too long."

Leon nodded. "Maybe we should just go wait for him. He's never been here, has he?"

Cloud shook his head. "I don't think so. Maybe once, but he said he didn't really know his way around. Should we head over there now, then?" Leon nodded and they changed direction slightly, heading east instead of north, going toward the space port.

Cloud knew the real reason Leon had suggested going to get Axel but said nothing about it. The hospital wasn't exactly hard to find and usually he would have let Axel find it on his own. But now he wanted time to cool off. Cloud understood that. He knew Leon wanted to be completely calm and composed in front of his family. He also wanted time to sort through the feelings that were threatening to dominate him now before he had to go back to a place where more might show up and overpower him. Leon had never been very good at dealing with his feelings.

"I'm fine, you know," Leon said gruffly, though his voice was quiet.

Cloud smiled just a little. "Yeah, I know."

"I'm just…. worried, is all."

Cloud nodded. "Anyone would be."

Leon was silent for a moment, then said, "I did go a little over the top back there though, didn't I?"

Cloud had to laugh, but it only lasted for a moment. "Yeah, you really kicked the _shit_ out of those punks. But they deserved it. Well, they deserve worse, but what you did was close."

Leon sighed. He was unrepentant about what he'd done, but he wished he had been more in control of himself.

Cloud reached over and gently squeezed Leon's shoulder, then released him as though nothing had happened. "It's not your fault, man. You know that, right?"

"Yeah," Leon said, his voice almost a whisper. "Yeah, I know." Neither of them really believed he meant it.

They continued on in silence, walking a little more slowly than usual toward the port. In the silence, they agreed upon something between themselves. They would never talk about the subject ever again.

xXx

A/N: I'm graduation today (Sunday) and am flying out tomorrow. I don't know how long it's gonna be before I get in another update. Probably a week at most, but you never know. Settling in and everything might not take as long as I think it might. Plus there's always lots of waiting time in airports and on airplanes hahaha. I'm starting school summer term, so I don't have a summer vacation in which to write. But I figure I'll find time. I want to finish this story at the very least. It's almost over and I think it deserves to be seen the whole way through.

I think Leon was a little OOC in this chapter, but I kinda liked it. I like making characters seem human. It's fun hahaha.

Was Luke's and his gang's response to Roxas' attempted suicide realistic? I have no idea. But it made a pretty good plot device.

The fight was kinda not written about at all, but I didn't have the energy to give it much thought. It was easier just to let all yinz imagine what happened yourselves. I would have done more with it, but I wanted to get it up before I go to bed (it's like 130 am) so you can have an update. I won't have ANY time today at ALL cause not only do I graduate, but it's father's day. And I leave tomorrow, so there you have it.

Anyway, I don't think I have anything else to note in this chapter.

Please review. And thank you for reading!

Until next time.

-Eevil hero


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: Sorry this is kind of short. I'm in college now and I've been so busy that I haven't really had much time to write lately. Today I got a few hours to myself so I figured I'd finish what I started before I left home. I'll write again the very next chance I get, but that might not be for another week or so. Since the summer semester is only 2 months instead of 4, classes are moving really fast and that means I have a lot of work and studying to do. This chapter isn't really very good and for that I apologize. I needed a transition and a merging point for a few separate parts, so it was necessary. I hope you don't have me too much XD

Thanks for reading. :D

xXx

Axel walked off the ship with only a small bag over his shoulder and his cell phone in one hand. He hadn't ever met Leon or the friend he had said he'd be bringing along, but at this hour they shouldn't be terribly difficult to spot, right?

Axel started looking around, but just then his phone started to ring. He pressed a button and lifted the little device to his ear. He listened for a moment then turned around. He spotted a blond man holding his own cell phone and a brunet with a scar across his face. They must be Cloud and Leon, he figured. Cloud waved at him then hung up. Axel did the same and headed over toward them. He shouldered his way past a few other passengers until he was finally standing in front of them.

They sized each other up at first then came to terms with the situation. Without even bothering to greet them properly, Axel started asking questions.

"Alright, so what happened?" He directed this at Leon because he was Roxas' brother. "All I know is Roxas is in some kind of trouble. I don't know any details so you should start talking."

Leon nodded, not bothering to acknowledge the other man's rudeness. It didn't matter at this point and, to be honest, he would probably have acted the same way were their roles reversed. "You know Roxas has a twin brother, don't you?" he starte.

Axel nodded. "Sora. Roxas talked about him a few times. What's he got to do with this?"

"He ran away a few months ago," Leon said. "I went to look for him and left Roxas with Riku. Riku drank a lot and abused him. It doesn't matter whether he was aware of it or not. Roxas had no friends at school and was, in essence, left alone in all this. A few hours ago he got a letter from Sora. He tried to leave to go find him, but he stopped himself. Riku brought him home. I got here about an hour before Roxas slit his wrists and tried to kill himself. His friend Hayner found him just in time. He's been unconscious in the hospital since then." He had said all this without expression, just restating facts. Otherwise it would have been too much for him to handle.

Axel's face fell, but he gave no other reaction. He hadn't expected this. He looked away for a moment, stunned, then turned back to Leon. "But he's alright?"

Leon nodded. "Physically anyway. But he's still pretty messed up."

Axel nodded. "I want to see him." It wasn't so much a request as a statement. He was going to see Roxas, it was just a matter of when.

"We'll take you there now." It was the first time Cloud had spoken.

Axel glanced at him and nodded. Cloud started off, Axel close behind him. Leon strayed a few steps behind them for a few minutes, collecting his thoughts. Then he caught up, walking in stride with the other two men. He didn't know if bringing Axel here was a good idea or if it would help Roxas at all, but it was worth a try. He obviously cared about Roxas and Roxas cared enough about Axel to have talked about him before. He was usually hesitant to bring up anything to do with his days in the Organization, short as they might have been.

He picked up the thread of the conversation as they walked. Cloud slowly fell silent, letting the two most emotionally invested talk it over rather than butt in. The three of them walked away from the port an toward the hospital, each of them hoping Axel might be able to do some good, no matter how much or how little, for Roxas' sake.

xXx

"ROXAS!"

Sora sat bolt upright in bed, drenched in sweat. He was gasping for breath. His chest felt constricted, like something large and heavy had been pressing down on him. He ran his shaking hands over his face and back through his sweat-soaked hair. He was trembling all over and he wasn't even sure why. The dream had been so clear just a moment before, but now it had almost completely faded.

He heard someone banging on the wall to his left. "Shut up in there!" a gruff voice yelled.

"S-sorry," Sora called back hoarsely. He hadn't realized the walls were so thin. He was staying in a cheap room in the outskirts of town so he was less likely to see anyone he knew or that might know him. He'd used a fake name again, but even so he wasn't planning on staying in any one place for too long.

He got up and went to the cracked sink on the other side of the tiny room and splashed his face with cold water, but it didn't help. The images had faded, but the feeling of panic refused to leave him.

He dressed silently and, as an extra precaution, pulled Roxas' old cloak on over his clothes. He grabbed his key and left, running almost silently down the two flights of stairs to the ground floor. He pushed the heavy front door open with his shoulder and stepped out into the cold night air. The wind whipped his hood back away from his face, but he caught it and pulled it back down, making sure it hid his identity.

He started walking the streets at random, not really paying ay attention to where he was going. He didn't meet anyone for a long time, but eventually he heard voices. They were indistinct but as he walked they kept getting louder. So either he was walking toward them or they were getting closer to him.

He stopped and moved into the shadows of an alleyway, peering around the side of the building to his left only to see one of the last people he expected – Leon.

Sora's breath caught and he pulled back, but he didn't move. Leon and the other two men with him – a blond Sora recognized as his friend Cloud – and another he thought only looked vaguely familiar, were speaking with very serious expressions on their faces. Whatever it was, it must be important.

The man with red hair whom Sora had not recognized was speaking. "And you're _sure_ it's because of-"

Leon interrupted him, though he sounded calm rather than impatient. "We're not really sure of anything right now, Axel." Ah, Sora thought, so that was how he knew him. He recognized the name rather than the face. He was a friend of Roxas.

Sora moved closer to hear better. If Roxas' friend was in town and Roxas wasn't there to meet him (they were walking away from the direction of the port and from the tone of the conversation it wasn't hard to guess they were filling him in), then that meant there was probably something wrong. Sora's feeling of panic only got worse.

"So," Axel went on, "what do you want me to do?"

"When he wakes up, I want you to be there. The doctors said it shouldn't be too long now. They're not sure exactly when it'll happen – it's impossible to predict these things – but it should be soon."

"Alright," Axel agreed, nodding. "Seems simple enough. And then you want me to talk to him?"

Leon nodded. "Yes. Find out what we can do to help him. Find out what changed, what went wrong, anything. Just… talk to him."

Axel continued to nod. "Alright. _Sounds_ easy enough, so I know it won't be, but I think I can handle it."

"Good. That's what I was hoping you'd say."

Axel shook his head then, looking sad. "But of all the stupid things… I never though Roxas would attempt something like this."

Sora's insides churned. What had happened? Just say it!

Axel sighed heavily. "But, then again… no one tries to kill themselves just for the hell of it, do they? Especially not someone like Roxas… Does his brother have _any_ idea just how much damage he's done?"

Sora felt like his heart had been ripped out and stepped on. He turned and ran before he could hear Leon's reply. He didn't get far before he had to stop and throw up. Of all the things he had been expecting, _that_ had certainly not been one of them. No, this was far, _far_ worse than anything he could ever have come up with.


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I don't own Blitzball. Square Enix does.

xXx

Axel had been sitting with Roxas for hours with no signs of movement. He had grown tired from his trip and from just sitting there, waiting. It might not seem like it, but waiting can be exhausting, especially when it is your best friend you are waiting around for. Axel wanted nothing more than for Roxas to open his eyes and say he was alright and waiting for that moment was torturous and draining.

Around four in the morning, Axel finally left Roxas' bedside and went in search of some very strong coffee. He found some and returned rather quickly, the large paper cup still in his hand, only to find Riku sitting alone outside his brother's room. Axel had only met Riku once or twice before, but he knew just by looking at him that something was bothering him. Besides, he wanted to have a few strong words with this one for abusing Roxas so badly. But he didn't have to let on, at least not at first. Even though he despised Riku for what he'd done, Axel couldn't help feeling sorry for him. It was hard not to when he was sitting outside his little brother's hospital room.

Axel sighed, resigning himself, and sat down beside Riku. The silver haired boy barely even glanced up.

"So," Axel said conversationally, leaning back lazily in his chair, "you're Riku right?"

Riku grunted his affirmation.

"I thought so." Axel sipped at his coffee, thinking how best to bring up the subject. Finally he decided he'd just ask straight out. "Something on your mind? Besides the obvious, anyway?"

Riku shook his head. "It doesn't matter."

Axel smirked just a little. "If it doesn't matter," he said smoothly, "then why is it bothering you so much?"

Riku sighed and hunched himself over, resting his arms on his knees, his head bowed slightly. He looked very tired all of a sudden, though Axel was sure it had nothing to do with the time of day. "How much do you know, Axel?"

The red haired man shrugged. "Only what Leon told me."

"So that I'm a drunken bastard who beats his little brother, who doesn't even try to defend himself?"

Axel took another swig of his steaming drink. "Pretty much."

"Mm. I figured."

"Is that not the truth then?" Axel asked, intrigued by Riku's attitude.

"No… No, it is the truth. Just… not all of it."

Axel sat up now, watching the other boy with some interest. "Is that so? So what is the whole truth?"

"It'd take too long to explain," Riku said dodgingly.

"It's not like I'm going anywhere," Axel pointed out.

Riku smiled, but it was weak and vanished quickly. "Fair enough." He sighed, thinking. "I guess I should just tell you everything then," he said, more to himself than to Axel. "Well… for one thing… I was never aware that I was beating Roxas. Not at first. I didn't ever remember doing it. Not that that excuses it… it's just… well, that's what it is."

Axel interrupted him before he went on. "I'm not here to judge you. I'm not even here for you. I'm here for him." At this he nodded toward the closed door of Roxas' room.

Riku nodded. He paused for a moment, deciding where to pick up again, then went on. "When I realized it... that I was hurting him when I was drunk… well… I wanted to quit drinking of course, but… I couldn't."

"You were addicted?" Axel asked, not without contempt.

Riku shook his head. "I hate the stuff, to be honest."

Axel frowned. "Then why…?" He let the question hang in the air.

"I'll get to that," Riku said patiently. Axel nodded and Riku took it up again. "So I tried to go other places when I drank, but I'd find my way back home some of the time anyway. When I realized nothing I tried worked, I quit… for a while."

"What happened?" Axel asked, now completely unsure how he felt about Riku.

"My nightmares started coming back."

"Nightmares? About what?"

Riku was silent for a long time. Then he said, very quietly, "Her… Kairi."

Axel's eyes widened for in that moment he realized something that no one else knew. "You were there when she died," he said.

Riku nodded. "But it was more than just that." He swallowed, then said with great difficulty, "I was the one… who pulled her to shore after she fell. I jumped in after her… when she was still alive… but I… couldn't get to her in time."

"In time?"

Riku said nothing.

"Why don't you tell me the whole story, Riku," Axel suggested, not unkindly. "Tell me everything about the day Kairi died."

Riku nodded, took a deep breath, and told him.

xXx

_"Hey Roxas, you wanna come to the river with us?"_

_Roxas looked up from his books which were spread out all over his and Sora's desk. His hair was disheveled from all the times he'd run his hands through it. There were crumpled bits of paper lying on the floor and he looked like he was about to snap._

_"You look like you could use a break," Sora added. "Come on, it'll be fun." He grinned at his twin._

_Roxas smiled lopsidedly. "Oh yeah. _Loads_ of fun," he said sarcastically. "I'd _love_ to witness you and Kairi being all… _mushy_," he said this with more contempt than was necessary (solely for Sora's benefit). Sora made a face at him. "But seriously," Roxas went on, " I do have a lot of work to do."_

_Sora shrugged. "So? It's Friday. You have the whole weekend ahead of you! Come on, come with us," he begged. "Puh-leaaaase?"_

_Roxas sighed, rolled his eyes, and pushed back his chair. "Alright, alright," he said as he stood. "But not for more than a couple of hours, ok? I don't want all this work hanging over me all weekend."_

_Sora laughed. "Alright, have it your way." He turned and led Roxas into the hall and down the stairs to where Kairi was waiting by the front door._

_"So where are we going?" Roxas asked as he and Sora pulled on their sneakers._

_"To the river," Kairi said, smiling. "The rapids are gonna be really high and rough today because of all the rain we've had, so there won't be anyone else there."_

_Roxas frowned. "Won't that be dangerous then?" he asked, though he was a little excited now. The river was beautiful and, for some reason, it was one of the best places to hang out in the whole town._

_Sora shrugged. "If we fall in I guess, but that won't happen, right Rox?"_

_Roxas shrugged. "Alright whatever." He straightened, having tied his shoes, and followed Kairi and his brother out the door._

_The walk to the river was rather uneventful. They walked slowly through town, soaking in the heat of the day. At first Roxas lagged behind, not wanting to intrude, but then Sora called him up to walk with them and they all three started talking together. They talked mostly about trivial things – blitzball, school, things of that nature. _

_At one point, Kairi spotted her friend Olette and ran over to talk to her for a few minutes, leaving the brothers alone._

_"So," Roxas asked once Kairi was out of earshot, "what's so special about today?"_

_Sora scuffed the ground with his toe. "Well… I don't know… Nothing really. I'm just glad I get to see her. What with working and school and all that we don't see each other much…"_

_"So why invite me along?"_

_Sora blushed. "Moral support?"_

_Roxas grinned. "Ha! So you're finally gonna tell her are you?" He slapped his twin on the back. "Good for you!" He laughed when Sora's blush deepened._

_"I guess," he brunet muttered._

_"Are you sure you want me there? Won't that be… I don't know… kind of awkward?"_

_Sora shrugged. "I don't think so."_

_"Will Kairi?"_

_Sora looked up, alarmed. "I hadn't though of that."_

_Roxas smiled again and patted Sora's shoulder. "Don't worry, I won't get in the way. Won't even know I'm here."_

_Sora returned the smile though he still looked nervous. Though who could blame him?_

_Soon after this the three of them went straight to the river. Roxas faded in and out of the conversation but he didn't mind. Now that he knew what the deal was, he actually preferred it this way. He talked when Sora needed him to and he was silent when Sora needed him to be and that's how it went._

_When they reached the river, the three of them stood looking at the majesty of it, the raw power of it. It was awe-inspiring and more than a little frightening. But they weren't particularly daunted by it._

_Roxas noticed that Sora seemed about ready to say something to Kairi, so he hung back on shore while the two of them proceeded out onto the bridge. They walked to about the middle when Sora said something and Kairi stopped, looking a little surprised, and turned back to face him. They were too far away (though it wasn't that far) and the rapids were too loud for Roxas to hear. He sat down on the bank, smiling, the sun warm on his back, and watched, completely content with the arrangement at hand._

_Sora was facing the river, looking the same way the rapids were flowing. Kairi was facing him, her arms resting on the wall of the bridge. She was silent, listening to Sora talking. The brunet looked extremely nervous. He kept staring down at his feet instead of at her. He went on for a couple of minutes, then looked up at her tentatively, apparently finished._

_Kairi stood still for a few moments, apparently taking in whatever he had said. Then she smiled, warm and slow. She reached up for him, took his face in her hands, and kissed him. Sora seemed shocked at first, but then his eyes closed and he returned her kiss._

_On the shore, Roxas stood, thinking to give them some privacy, but then he noticed something. Kairi was leaning back against the side of the bridge and Sora was leaning against her. They broke apart and he placed his hands on the wall on either side of her. They were staring at each other and didn't notice. The bridge was made partially of wood, and with all the rain in addition to the constant water exposure from the river, the wall had become weak. It might have stood otherwise, but because of the weight the two were currently putting on it, it was starting to give way._

_Roxas tried to yell to them, but the water was too loud and they couldn't hear. He started to run, but they were too focused on each other to notice. Then, just as he reached the bridge, the wall gave way and Kairi fell back. Sora caught himself and made a wild grab for her, but he missed her by an inch and she was plunged into the river below._

_It took a moment for Sora to realize what had happened, and then he made to jump in after her. Roxas dove at him and tackled him to the ground. "No!" he shouted over the sound of the rapids. "No Sora! You'll be killed too!"_

_Sora fought him madly but Roxas wouldn't let him go. He wrestled with his brother and then forced him to his feet and dragged him off the bridge before they fell too. Sora never stopped struggling and shouting for Kairi. Roxas cared about Kairi too, but not enough to let Sora kill himself trying to save her. There were rocks at the bottom of the river, huge, sharp rocks that would probably kill Sora before he even had a chance to try to fight the rapids that had swept Kairi downstream._

_Roxas forced Sora to sit and held him tight, restraining left arm in such a way that it would be excruciatingly painful for Sora to stand up because it would involve twisting his arm right out of his socket to do so._

_"Let me Go Roxas!" Sora kept saying. He tried to fight him off still, but Roxas would have none of it. "Roxas please! Let me go! She'll die!"_

_"You will too if you go in there!" Roxas shouted back. "And I'm not letting that happen!"_

_After it became apparent that there was nothing he could do, Sora finally quit struggling. He sat in shocked silence. It had all happened so quickly that he wasn't even sure it was real. But then reality sunk in. Unless Kairi had managed to get to shore extremely quickly, there was very little chance that she had survived._

_Sora relaxed his muscles and Roxas finally let go. Sora covered his face in his hands and screamed. Then, the very moment his screams died, he started to cry, then to sob. _

_Roxas was crying now too. He mourned Kairi's eminent loss, but even more than that he cried because of Sora's pain. He slowly wrapped his arms around his twin and rested his forehead against Sora's back._

_"She's g-gone, Roxas," Sora chocked. "She died… and… it's all my fault…"_

_"No it's not," Roxas said gently. "Don't think like that."_

_Sora shook his head, his tears flowing harder and faster now. "Yes it is. I s-shouldn't have b-brought her here. It was s-stupid."_

_"You didn't know this would happen."_

_"But you did!"_

_Roxas flinched. Whether Sora was referring to his initial warning or the fact that Roxas had realized what was going to happen just before Kairi fell, Roxas didn't know. But either way he didn't like where Sora had taken this._

_Sora seemed to realize the depth of his words. He turned and faced his brother, his face screwed up and his eyes already red. "I didn't mean that," he said quietly. "I didn't mean it was your fault."_

_Roxas nodded solemnly. "I know." He reached for Sora again and his brother hid himself in his arms, crying still harder. Neither of them knew what to do, so all they did was sit there and cry._

_xXx_

_What neither of them was aware of was the fact that Riku and one of his friends were by the river too. They were lounging on a small patch of shore a few hundred yards downstream of the bridge. Riku's friend – Auron – was drinking placidly. He wasn't drunk, just contemplative and rather bored. Riku was smoking a cigarette – a bad habit he'd picked up recently and one he didn't plan to keep up for long. Smoking was too expensive for his tastes._

_He and Auron had been sitting in silence for a while when Riku looked up toward the bridge. He saw Sora and Kairi walking across is, then stop. He couldn't see Kairi's face and Sora's was hard to make out, but from the look of things he was talking to her about something important. It didn't take long to figure out what it was because a few minutes later the two started kissing. Riku smiled and whooped for his little brother. He pointed them out to Auron, who glanced up uninterestedly. Then the dark-haired boy frowned, for he had noticed exactly the same thing that Roxas had noticed._

_"The bridge is going to give way," he said._

_"What?" Riku nearly shouted over the river. He hadn't heard Auron so his friend repeated it. Riku looked back, alarmed, just as Kairi fell. His eyes lingered on the bridge, waiting for Sora to fall too but then he saw Roxas burst, seemingly from nowhere, and tackle him. Riku knew Roxas would never let anything happen to Sora, so he turned his attention back to Kairi. He looked around wildly, searching for any sign of her in the water, until he spotted a small purple swatch against the white of the river._

_Without waiting for another moment, Riku tossed his cigarette aside and dove in after her. He was a very good swimmer, but he still couldn't get anywhere near her. The water pushed and pulled at him from every side. His head was forced under several times and water flooded his nose and mouth, choking him. Salt-water stung his eyes as they started to water, making it even harder to see. He soon realized this was getting him nowhere and headed back to shore where Auron was waiting to pull him out of the raging river. He started running along the shore, searching madly for her. _

_After a few moments, he saw her at last, clutching for dear life onto a rock that protruded from the river. Her eyes were wide with panic and fear. She spotted him and started screaming for him though he couldn't hear her, waving at him with one arm. _

"_KAIRI!" Riku tried to re-enter the river, but it was no use. He couldn't get to her._

_The rapids were even faster at this point in the river as they started heading slowly downward and the ground leveled out. Kairi was still waving for him, thinking he hadn't seen her, and was unprepared when a wave hit her full force. She lost her grip and fell from her perch backward into the water._

_Riku lost sight of her. He looked around frantically for her, but he didn't see her resurface. What he did see, however, was a strange pink tint in one patch of the water._

_Riku felt his heart clench, knowing already what had happened but refusing to believe it. He dove into the water and fought fiercely against the river with more strength than he knew he had. He forced his eyes to open wide under the water, looking for her. It took him a minute or two and several trips up for air before he finally found her. She'd gotten caught under the water on a stone – her skirt was snagged on a protruding rock. Her eyes were closed and she wasn't struggling. The pink water was concentrated around her head where she had struck it after her fall. Riku refused to admit that it was blood. He fought his way to her and tore her skirt, freeing her. He grabbed her around the waist and kicked off the bottom, breaking through to the surface, but only long enough to gasp in another breath of air before he was forced under again. _

_He kicked and struggled until he finally grabbed onto a root sticking out of the riverbank. He used it to pull himself and Kairi up out of the water but lacked the strength to get them out of the water and to safety. _

"_AURON!" Riku shouted, praying his friend had thought to come after him. Luckily for him he had and a few moments later Auron appeared. He grabbed Kairi first, dragging her limp body onto shore, then reached back down to help Riku out of the water. _

_Riku choked and gasped, taking in only air for the first time in what seemed like an eternity. He coughed out water that he hadn't realized he'd swallowed._

"_Riku!" Auron said sharply, calling his attention back. "She's not breathing."_

_Riku felt like his heart had stopped in his chest. "No!" he moaned. He dragged himself over to her and started trying to resuscitate her. Auron took over when Riku ran out of air, but Riku kept on fighting long after Auron had given up. Auron was being practical, but Riku wasn't interested in that right now. He knew in his heart that there was no way she could have survived so long underwater even if her head injury hadn't killed her, but he wouldn't stop._

"_Come_ on _Kairi!" he shouted at her. "_Breath,_ dammit!" _

_Finally, after nearly ten minutes, Auron pulled him off her. "It's too late Riku. You tried, but she's gone. I'm sorry."_

"_No she's not!" he yelled, trying to fight Auron off and get back to her, but Auron held him fast. Auron was bigger and stronger than he was, so Riku didn't have a chance._

_Riku didn't even have the strength to cry and Auron, who never cried, pulled him to his feet. "Come on. We're leaving."_

_"But we can't just leave her here!" Riku cried, trying and failing to get away as Auron dragged him off._

_"Yes we can. And we are. We don't want to get mixed up in this." His voice was calm, logical. Riku was neither of those things._

_"Let me _go_ Auron! We can't just-" But Auron had had enough._

_He slammed Riku against a tree and pinned him here with one hand. "_Listen_ Riku," he growled softly. "I know you care about this girl, but we can _not_ afford to get involved in this. It looks too suspicious. The river will wash away all evidence that we were here, so no one ever has to know. Swear to me now that you won't say a word."_

_"But," Riku protested, "my brother-!"_

_"He'll be distraught enough without knowing you might have saved her but didn't. I'm not saying it's your fault, which it isn't, but it doesn't matter. Sora won't think of that. He'll be too upset. And we don't want anyone to think we let this happen or even had a hand in it. So just shut up and follow me."_

_Riku looked like he was about to protest, but then closed his mouth and nodded. "Alright. I won't tell anyone. I promise." Then, very heavy-hearted, he followed Auron away from the river. He didn't look back. He couldn't. He couldn't stand the though of seeing Kairi's corpse lying there again._

_"You need to wash the blood off of you before you go home," Auron said after they'd gone on a ways._

_Only then did Riku notice that he was covered in Kairi's blood. He had held her long and tried too hard to save her and, in the process, had been exposed to her blood, which still poured from her wound after had heart had stopped._

_The two stopped at Auron's apartment before Riku went home. The silver-haired boy stripped and washed himself furiously, not even daring to look in the sink as the remains of the blood trickled down the drain._

_He dressed in clothes that he borrowed from Auron after bagging up his own. Then the two took them outside and burned them. Riku would never have been able to wear them again anyway, even if he'd been able to get the stains out._

_Then Riku and Auron parted ways. Auron watched the other walk away in silence, not envying the secrets Riku would have to keep or the part he would now have to play._

_As promised, the two didn't tell anyone about what had happened. The police had found her body and had assumed it was washed ashore. No one knew they were even there. Roxas and Sora were questioned, but in the end it was declared exactly what it had been – an accident. It was this very accident that broke up the Leonheart family just a few short months later._

xXx

A/N: This isn't as in-depth as I had hoped it would be and I didn't get as descriptive as I wanted to, but that was because I didn't want to suddenly throw in a graphic death unexpectedly. Everyone, by this point, knows Kairi was going to die, but even so. I didn't want to get too detailed.

Anyway, the story will be over soon. There shouldn't be more than 5 or so chapters left, which is not really what I had intended, but I think that should be about right in order for me to finish the story properly.

Next chapter will come when I can write it, though I have two papers due soon (and it's only my second week of college!) so it may have to wait until the weekend or maybe even longer. Sorry for the wait on this one. I really am trying hard to actually finish this one. v.v I really want this story to end well.

Anyway, that's all I've gotta say for now. I'd have written more in this chapter, but it's late, I have an early class, and I really want to get this up today. Again, sorry.

Thanks for reading. See you next chapter!

-Eevil hero


	21. Chapter 21

When he had finished speaking, Riku fell silent, staring at the floor. Axel watched him in silence.

"So… before just now… you never told anyone?" His voice was very soft, almost a whisper.

Riku nodded. "And I never plan to tell them."

"Why?"

"Because the best thing for this family is for everyone to just forget about it and put it behind us. If I drag it all up again it'll just make things worse."

"So you're gonna let them think you're just a stupid drunk?" Axel sounded almost sympathetic.

Riku nodded again but said nothing. Axel's respect for him grew just a little (though it had been more or less non-existent before).

"Now that you know," Riku said after a minute or so of silence, "I have to ask you not to repeat this story to anyone. At least not my part in it."

Axel looked like he was about to argue, but when Riku looked up at him with such a sad expression on his face Axel found himself nodding anyway. And now that'd he's promised he would keep it. He wasn't the most honorable person, but he kept his promises if he could help it. Silence fell again.

After five minutes or so had passed, Axel finished his coffee and was trying to decide what to do next when Riku unexpectedly stood. Without saying a word he crossed the hall, opened the door to Roxas' room and entered, closing the door behind him. Axel stared at the closed door, confused, but decided not to bother him. Instead, he too stood, threw away his empty cup, and went to find someplace he where he could clear his head.

xXx

Riku hadn't been in the hospital room before. Not alone, anyway. He had always hovered near the back of the room, hardly daring even to look at Roxas. How could he, knowing he was to blame for so much of Roxas' pain?

He crossed the room in a few strides, his eyes on the floor, and sat down tentatively beside Roxas' bed. He clenched his fists and, after much debating with himself, forced himself to look Roxas in the face.

His brother was paler than he had ever seen him. He was so still that he almost looked dead. The doctors had given him several transfusions, but even so it hadn't been quite enough. They had given Roxas enough blood to live but not enough to fully bring the color back into his face. They said he would wake when his body was done replacing the rest of the blood he had lost, or something like that.

Riku could see now, what with so much of Roxas' skin exposed (hospital gowns aren't known for their ability to cover people well), just how much damage he had really done. There were cuts, scars, and bruises covering quite a bit of his brother's skin. His arm was still bandaged but his forehead was not now. Carefully, very slowly, Riku reached up and brushed Roxas' bangs aside, revealing in full the jagged wound that even now was barely healed. It would leave a lasting scar, and an ugly one at that.

Riku quickly pulled back his hand, almost as though he had been electrocuted. He sat down hard, finding it hard to breathe. He hid his face in the sheets on Roxas' bed, fighting back the tears he knew would probably come anyway.

He was to blame for nearly all of the sadness and all of the pain Roxas had been through. No one could deny that, least of all Riku. He had half a mind to exile himself, but he knew deep down that that would only cause Roxas more pain. Because despite everything he'd done, Roxas still loved him. And that caused Riku the most pain of all. He knew in his heart that Roxas had forgiven him for hurting him and ridiculing him even without knowing why he'd done it. Roxas didn't blame him for never being there. He never resented him for leaving him all alone when he needed him most. That knowledge burned in Riku's mind, hurting him more than he could explain.

"I'm so sorry Roxas," he whispered, though he knew the younger child couldn't hear him. "I'm so sorry for everything I did to you. I never wanted to hurt you but that didn't stop me from doing it. You never deserved any of this, but I let you go on thinking you did. I'm to blame for this and I know it. It would be so much easier if you'd just _hate_ me. I don't _deserve_ your forgiveness. I don't even deserve to call myself your brother, not even for a moment. You deserve so much better than me. And I'm sorry that you didn't get it."

When Riku left the room an hour later, his face was impassive, his emotions under control again. There was no sign that he felt anything at all. Though whether Leon, who was waiting outside when Riku emerged, noticed that his brother's eyes were just the tiniest bit red around the edges or not, he never said a word.

xXx

Roxas finally woke up the next morning, at around 5 a.m. Most of his family and friends were at home, sleeping, but there was one person still awake, sitting dutifully by his bedside.

Roxas blearily opened his eyes, confused and a little dazed. He tried to sit up, but someone held him back.

"Take it easy man," his companion said. "You're in the hospital. Don't push yourself."

Roxas obeyed and lay back down, but now he was more confused than ever. "Hospital? What happened? And why are _you_ here?"

Roxas got a lopsided grin in response. "Thanks man, I missed you too."

The blond shook his head and smiled too. "That's not what I mean."

"Yeah I know." He paused for a moment before explaining. "Your brother Leon tracked me down and told me to get over here as soon as I could. He said you were in pretty bad shape."

"Oh." Roxas turned his head away as the memory of it all came back to him. "So… who found me?" he asked, his voice flat.

"Hayner, I think?"

Roxas nodded. "Makes sense." Silence fell between them. Roxas wasn't sure what to say.

"If you want, I don't have to stay here. This must be difficult for you."

Roxas looked back at him and smiled, but his eyes were sad. "No, it's alright. Stay. I really have missed you Axel."

The redhead smiled crookedly. "I wish you'd told me what was going on."

Roxas shrugged. "I didn't want to bother you."

Axel frowned. "You see? This is why people get so _annoyed_ with you." He looked agitated, but Roxas knew he didn't mean it.

"So where did you come from this time?" he asked, trying to avoid the inevitable subject.

"Some drifter colony not too far from here. The planet was pretty small, so I didn't intend to stay for too long anyway."

"How did Leon know where to find you?" he asked, only mildly interested.

"SOLDIER records, believe it or not," Axel said, laughter in his voice.

Roxas looked surprised. "SOLDIER? You worked for them?"

Axel shrugged. "It paid well and there was no commitment involved. It worked. Anyway, his friend is a SOLDIER or was or… something. Anyway he pulled some strings and got ahold of some of my old records. He called around and eventually he found me. He told me what happened and I left. You know the rest."

Roxas' face fell. "If Cloud found you… that means Fuu… I guess she knows about this then… I didn't want that…"

Axel's smirk faded. "What _did_ you want, Rox?" he asked quietly.

Roxas turned away, facing the curtained window opposite from where Axel was sitting. "I…" He fell silent, searching for something. Whether it was words he was looking for or an answer, Axel didn't know.

When it became apparent that Roxas either wasn't going to answer or couldn't, Axel spoke again. "You know… Roxas… remember when we used to be in the Organization? There was something you said to me that I'll never forget."

"What was that?" Roxas asked without real interest. He continued to stare at the window.

"It was the day you left." When Roxas still said nothing, Axel continued. "I told you they'd be after you if you abandoned them. That they might even try to kill you. Do you remember what you told me?"

"No." Of course he did remember, but he didn't really want to talk about it.

"You told me no one would miss you." No answer. "But that's not true Roxas. Not even a little bit. I said it then and I'll say it again now. _I_ would miss you. Leon and Riku would miss you. Hayner would too. And Cloud. And this girl Fuu. And…" He stopped. He wasn't sure saying the last one on the list was a good idea.

Roxas seemed to know where he wasn't going. "Sora wouldn't care," he said flatly, his voice dead-sounding, even to his own ears.

Axel didn't want to hear him talk like that, especially because he didn't believe it was true. "Of course he would. He-"

Roxas rounded on him. "No he wouldn't!" he shouted, making Axel jump. "He doesn't give a _shit_ about me. Maybe he did once but he sure as _hell_ doesn't now." His face was hard, his jaw set.

For a moment, Axel really though he was angry. But then he saw the tears in Roxas' eyes. His face fell. So it was true. Sora really had been the cause. He hadn't wanted it to be something so… legitimate. He stood and reached forward. Roxas hid his face in Axel's shirt and cried.

"Tell us how to help you," Axel pleaded with him. He absent-mindedly was stroking Roxas' hair, trying to sooth his anguished friend.

Roxas shook his head. "There's… nothing you can do," he said hoarsely.

"There must be _something_," Axel insisted.

Roxas shook his head again. "I…" His grip on Axel tightened. His shoulders were shaking with the intensity of it. "I just… don't want to feel so… _worthless._"

"Roxas…" Axel was sadder than he could express. "You're _not_ worthless. Not even a little. Not even at all." But he knew the words wouldn't do any good because Roxas refused to believe them. So instead of trying to reason with the boy, he just held him and let him cry until, after nearly an hour, Roxas fell asleep.

xXx

Soon after this, Axel went out to sit with everyone – Leon, Riku, Cloud, and Hayner. They were quiet, subdued.

"So you heard him huh?" Axel asked, seeing the looks on their faces. Their silence was answer enough.

"So how do we fix this?" Cloud asked, looking at Axel but speaking to everyone.

Axel shook his head. "I don't think we can. I don't even think _I _can get through to him, and I always used to be able to."

"So who do you think could?" Leon asked quietly.

"Sora would be my best guess," Axel said. "But I still don't understand. Roxas is stronger than this. He's never relied on anyone before, not even Sora. Not to this extent."

Hayner, who remained silent until this point, spoke. "Maybe he feels guilty," he suggested quietly.

The other three turned to face him with various looks of confusion on their faces.

Seeing they didn't follow, Hayner decided to explain. "He feels guilty about leaving Sora alone."

Leon frowned. "But _Sora_ left _Roxas,_" he pointed out.

Hayner nodded. "This time," he said. "Sora never joined the Organization like Roxas did. Back then, _Roxas_ left _Sora_ behind. Granted, the situations are pretty different, but the basic principle is the same. Now that Roxas knows what it feels like to be left behind by his twin… It must be killing him, knowing he did that to Sora."

The others were silent, taken aback by Hayner's reasoning. It made sense, of course. But then Leon decided to speak up.

"But Roxas came back."

"After how long?" Hayner asked, already knowing the answer but wanting Leon to say it.

"Five months." It was Axel who answered. Hayner didn't seem to mind.

"And how long has Sora been gone?" he pressed.

"Six and half months," Leon said quietly, thinking he knew where Hayner was taking this. "So," he said slowly, "you're saying you think that Roxas thought… Sora was getting back at him?"

Hayner shrugged. "I don't know what Roxas thought. But knowing him? That was probably part of it. But when Sora didn't come back…"

Riku finished for him. "He either thought Sora was even angrier with him than he thought… or he figured he liked being away more than he liked being home."

Hayner nodded.

"So, under that reasoning, Axel was right," Cloud said sadly. "The only one who can fix this is…." He stopped, looking up at the sound of footsteps. "Fuujin?"

The others looked around too and saw the girl walking slowly toward them. Someone, though they couldn't see whom, was following closely behind her. At first Hayner thought it might be Seifer, but then he wasn't sure. When they got a little closer and the second person came into view, Axel stiffened and the others jumped to their feet, looking like they were getting ready for a fight. Whoever it was, he was wearing an Organization XIII uniform, and that almost always meant trouble.

"Fuujin, get back," Cloud called out, wanting her to be out of harm's way in case of a fight. But Fuujin didn't move. She just kept moving slowly toward them, only now she looked confused.

"Wait a second…" It was Riku who realized the truth first. He relaxed his position and felt his stomach clench. "…Sora?" he whispered.

The others looked at him, dumbstruck, and then the truth hit them too.

By now the two had reached them, Fuu in the lead only by a couple of steps. "I think," she said, looking at Leon, "that you know him."

The cloaked boy before them slowly raised his hands and carefully lowered his hood. Sora was staring at the floor, shamefaced. Then he looked up at his brothers and attempted a smile.

Leon and Riku glance briefly at one another, then ran at Sora, yelling and hugging him and jumping around with no sense of self-restraint. They laughed and were so excited they could hardly express it. Sora looked relieved that they were so happy to see him. He smiled and hugged them too.

When they all finally calmed down enough, Sora spoke first. "I'm so sorry," he said, his eyes watering slightly. "I didn't mean for all of this to happen."

Leon shook his head. "It doesn't matter now, not to us. We're just glad you're safe." He smiled, which was a very un-Leon thing to do now that he'd gotten himself under control. "Where have you been?"

Sora shook his head. "That doesn't matter now. Where's Roxas?"

Their faces fell. "So you know?" It should have been obvious since Sora had come to the hospital.

"I heard you and Cloud talking to Axel after you picked him up from the Port," he admitted. "But I…" He looked away. He didn't want to admit that he hadn't had the courage to come and face his brothers – any of them. The others understood without him having to finish. "I found Fuujin by chance and she brought me here. I didn't tell her who I was, but she figured it out." He paused, afraid to ask at first, but then he turned to Riku and said, "How is he?"

Riku glanced at Axel, who had seen him last, and it was the redhead who answered. "He's not doing too well Sora," he said honestly. "But we think… that you can fix it. You can set him right."

Sora didn't question this. "Where is he?" he asked again. The others turned him around to show him, but then they all froze.

"You… you came… I… didn't think that you would." Roxas was standing there, leaning against the doorframe of his room. He'd removed his IVs and was having a hard time staying upright. After a few moments he lost his balance and started to fall.

"Roxas!" Sora pushed past his brothers and ran to his twin, catching him before he hit the ground.

When Roxas threw his arms around Sora, his cut wrists were horribly evident to everyone behind them. They were stitched and bandaged, but they all knew what lay beneath.

Both twins were in tears now, holding on to each other very tightly.

"I'm so sorry Sora," Roxas murmured.

Sora looked surprised. "What for? _I'm_ the one that left _you._ I should be begging you to forgive me, not the other way around."

Roxas shook his head. He tried to explain but couldn't – he was crying too hard.

"Don't scare me like that Roxas," Sora chided him gently.

Roxas hid his face in Sora's neck. "I'm sorry," he said again. A long moment passed in silence, but Sora's question couldn't go unasked for long.

"Why?" He finally asked. "Why would you try to kill yourself?"

Roxas just shook his head. He didn't want to say it while the others were there. Sora seemed to understand and led Roxas back into his room and quietly shut the door. He took Roxas back into the room and sat him down on the bed, keeping his arm firmly around his brother. He normally wouldn't have been so clingy, but the circumstances weren't exactly normal. And he knew that Roxas would want constant reassurance that he was really there.

"So," he asked again, "will you tell me what happened?"

Roxas was silent for a moment, content to just lean against his brother. Then he spoke slowly, working through his thoughts as he voiced them. "I was lonely without you, you know." He paused but Sora knew he wasn't finished so he said nothing. A few minutes passed before Roxas was able to speak again. "When Riku would hurt me and yell at me… I know he didn't know he was doing it and I know he didn't mean it but… But I started to believe I deserved it. I believed the things the kids at school said too. I didn't hate them for pushing me around because I let myself believe I was worthless." He paused again, letting that sink in for a moment before he finished. "Even my own twin left me, you know? I know you didn't leave because of me but… it felt like it. And it hurt. A lot. So when you didn't come back… I don't know. I thought you hated me. I thought you never wanted to see me again. And I would have deserved it after I left you for the Organization, even for a little while. It felt like you were trying to get back at me, even though I knew you weren't."

Sora didn't know what to say. _I'm sorry_ didn't seem like nearly enough, and it wasn't. "I never meant for you to feel that way," he said at last, but even that wasn't nearly enough. "I thought…" He let his voice fade away though, because the words he had been about to speak were horrible.

Roxas knew what he was going to say and finished his sentence for him. "You thought I was stronger than this," he stated simply. "You thought I was better than this." Sora didn't have anything to say to that. "I'm sorry for disappointing you."

"I wish," Sora said softly. "I wish… you wouldn't say things like that."

Roxas looked up at him in confusion.

"You keep going on like this was all somehow your fault. But it wasn't, Roxas. None of it was. No, let me finish." Roxas closed his mouth again. "I never wanted to get back at you for joining the Organization. I knew you had your reasons for doing it, just like you had your reasons for leaving them. I know I was part of the reason you came back." Roxas nodded but didn't interrupt. "I didn't think you were trying to hurt me. There was just… something more important than me that you had to take care of. I didn't really understand it at the time, but I always knew you'd come back. I knew you hadn't left forever, even though some people tried to convince me that you had. I never believed them, not once. And I thought… well, I thought it would work the same way if I left." He was silent but Roxas knew he was just thinking, so he waited until Sora was ready to speak again without pressing him. After a long pause, Sora continued. "I… never realized that I had never intended to come back." He hesitated again. "It wasn't that I wanted to get away from you, Roxas. I had to get away… from myself, I guess. From this town and from everyone who blamed me for what happened. I knew you knew the truth - that it was just an accident -but even I hated myself for letting it happen. And I couldn't face anyone, not even you. I didn't think I ever could."

Roxas was stunned. "Do you think I blame you for what happened?" he asked quietly.

Sora shrugged. "I didn't know and I was too afraid to ask before."

Roxas shook his head. "I never blamed you. Not even for a moment. I didn't blame you for the accident and I didn't blame you for running away afterwards."

Sora looked at him in surprise. "How can you say that?"

Roxas looked down at his hands. "Maybe before I did, but not now."

"…What changed your mind?" Sora asked tentatively.

"You came back for me," Roxas said simply. "That's all that really matters, right? When I really, desperately needed you, you came back to me. It doesn't matter why you came, not really. And it doesn't matter that you didn't_ know_ I needed you until you got here. You're here, and that's all there is to it really…"

"I never meant for you to be hurt because of my mistakes."

Roxas shook his head. "I guess you never really got it," he muttered, more to himself than to Sora.

"What do you mean?"

"I miss Kairi. I do," Roxas said honestly, "but I wasn't crying over her death at her funeral."

"So… what _were_ you crying for?"

Roxas was silent for a moment, then told him. "I was crying… because _you_ were crying. I was sad because _you_ were sad." He shook his head. "I don't want you to think I didn't care that she died, because I do. I loved her too. She was my friend and I cared about her. But the pain of loosing her wasn't nearly as strong as the pain of your pain." He looked up at the wide-eyed Sora. "Does that make any sense?"

Sora nodded slowly. "So what you're saying is… you were feeling twice as much pain as I was?"

Roxas tilted his head slightly. "I didn't mean it that way," he said, "and who's to say if it's true or not. But that wasn't the point."

Sora nodded. "Yeah I know… But still…" He swallowed. "The day she died? I… I told her I loved her. That I really _loved_ her. And then…just a few _seconds _later… I lost her…forever." He glanced at Roxas, then turned away. "I hated you that day… for stopping me."

Roxas said nothing, just stared at his brother's face, watching his expression.

"I know you saved my life now. I probably knew it then too… but that didn't stop me form hating you anyway. I think… I think that was the worst part of it, you know? Knowing I'd lost Kairi… and knowing I'd hated you… and _blamed_ you… even for a second. I couldn't tell you I had. I couldn't admit it. I didn't even want to admit it to myself, you know? How could I, when you were the one that was there for me most? When you were the one that told me everything would be alright?"

"Sora…"

"Don't try to tell me it's okay, cause it's not. I screwed up big time. I let Kairi die, I hurt you and nearly killed you too… and it was all because I was too selfish to realize it might happen. All I cared about was what _I_ wanted and nothing else really mattered."

"I don't think that's true."

Sora shook his head and continued to stare at the floor. "How can you possibly say that?"

"Because it's true," Roxas insisted. "I know you better than you know yourself most of the time. You're not that selfish Sora. I know that even if you don't. You were hurting and leaving was the only way you could think to deal with it. I understand that now. So it doesn't matter."

"How can you forgive me so easily?"

Roxas' lip curled just enough to be considered a smile. "Because we're twins. We're even closer than brothers are. We're two halves of the same whole, whether you forgot or not. I know you didn't want to hurt me. And everything's alright now, so what does it matter?"

Sora said nothing, but Roxas knew what was on his mind.

"I don't think… I don't think Kairi blames you either, Sora."

"How can you know that?" Sora's voice was barely audible.

"Because she knew you didn't want to hurt her either. You loved her, and she knew that. Just like I know that. And when you love someone you forgive them when they hurt you. Especially if they never meant to hurt you at all. It's just how it works."

Sora shook his head again but didn't argue. "I hope you're right," was all he could say.

xXx

A/N: Okay, only a chapter or two left to go now! Whoo!

I actually didn't play up Sora's return as much as I had meant to. I will explain how Fuu managed to get him to come back in the next chapter. I haven't decided whether it'll be a flashback or just one of them telling someone else what happened. If you have an opinion let me know and I'll try to take it into account. I can't decide which would sound better.

Anyway, we're almost there folks! I'm excited. Haha. :D

Thanks for reading. Please review if you have the time.

See you soon!

-Eevil Hero


	22. Eevil's Apology Note to the Readers

Author's Note:

I'm so sorry for the long wait again! It's crunch time cause the semester is almost over. I've been SWAMPED with work. I have two 10 page papers due tomorrow and I've barely even started one.

I know I said I'd get the last chapter or two up ASAP but literally the day after I was hit with homework like a ton of bricks. Don't get me wrong, I really love being here at school, but because of it my personal interests (including this) had to get bumped back a few notches on the priority list. I'm doing the best I can, but I really don't have time to finish it right now.

I want to give you guys the amazing ending you deserve and it takes more than the 10 minutes I have to spare here and there. I want to sit down and actually write the ending to my story. This has been my favorite fanfiction to write by far and I want it to turn out like it's supposed to.

So I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to bear with me just a little bit longer. The term ends in two weeks and I'll be home and on break on Aug. 15th. Once I get home and get my bearing, I _promise_ you'll get the best ending I can give you.

Once again, I'm _so_ sorry for keeping all of you waiting. There's just not much else I can do right now. So I ask for your forgiveness and a little of your patience while I fight not to flunk my first semester of college.

Thanks for sticking with me this far. It really means a lot.

See you soon.

- Eevil Hero

Also: If any of you have things you'd like to see happen before the story ends, please let me know. The main reason I keep this story going is because so many people seem to like it. I'm also not entirely sure how I want to end this yet, so if you have any ideas, by all means throw them at me. It doesn't necessarily mean I'll use them, but if I like it or if it makes me laugh, I'll more likely than not try to fit it in somewhere. Thanks in advance. –E.H.


	23. Chapter 22

A/N: This one's for you YinYangWhiteTiger. You keep asking for this, so here you go. I haven't gotten so many amazing reviews from one reader in a long time. Thanks :D

Sorry about the delay _again._ I've been running around since I got home, trying to see everyone before they leave for school. I have another week before I go back, so hopefully I'll have time to write the last chapter before I go. That's right folks. Only one more left after this. Whee!

If you wanna see something happen before the end, tell me now. :P Hahaha.

Anyway, thanks for reading. Please review if you can. Enjoy!

xXx

Roxas was released to the care of his brothers a few days later. He would have to back every week and take tests and see a shrink until they were convinced he was alright, but he didn't seem to mind it all that much.

He was told to stay in bed most of the first couple of weeks until he got his strength back. He slept most of the time or just rested. Sora was constantly by his side. He was with Roxas when he fell asleep and most of the time when he woke up.

Sora never told Roxas how he found out about what happened, and Roxas was content not to know. Leon, however, was a different matter.

One night when Roxas was sleeping and he and Sora were sitting alone in the kitchen, Leon decided to ask him about it.

"Sora," he said.

"Hm?" Sora mumbled, not looking up from his drink. He was slowly spinning he half-empty glass in his hands, watching the contents swirl inside it.

"What happened the night you came back?"

"…Which part?" Sora asked quietly.

For a moment Leon deliberated. He really wanted to know what had made Sora return to Twilight Town, but then decided maybe it was best left alone. Instead, he asked the question he'd originally meant. "How did you get to Fuujin and how did she get you to come back to us?"

Sora was silent for a long moment. Then he said, very quietly, "She's not the one that got me to come back."

Leon didn't say anything, waiting instead for Sora to start his story on his own. After a minute or so, Sora took a long drink, set down his glass, and looked his brother in the eye.

"Like I said, it wasn't Fuu that brought me back." He hesitated, unsure where to begin, then finished his thought. "It was Seifer."

xXx

_Axel shook his head then, looking sad. "But of all the stupid things… I never though Roxas would attempt something like this."_

_Sora's insides churned. What had happened? Just say it!_

_Axel sighed heavily. "But, then again… no one tries to kill themselves just for the hell of it, do they? Especially not someone like Roxas… Does his brother have any idea just how much damage he's done?"_

_Sora felt like his heart had been ripped out and stepped on. He turned and ran before he could hear Leon's reply. He didn't get far before he had to stop and throw up. Of all the things he had been expecting, that had certainly not been one of them. No, this was far, far worse than anything he could ever have come up with._

_After he left his brother and his friends behind, Sora wandered the streets, trying to clear his head. Of _course _he had to go back now. He had to. It was his fault that Roxas was… that he had… That things had turned out this way. How could he have been so stupid? He'd been lying to himself all this time, thinking nothing would change when he left, that no one would care. But of course he'd been wrong._

_He was sweating and shaking and he felt like he was going to throw up again, but he forced himself to keep going. He didn't even know where he was going _to_, he just felt the need to keep moving, always moving._

_Eventually, he found himself in a large crowded area. He hadn't been paying attention to where he was going so he didn't know what part of town he was in. There were lights strung up everywhere and stalls lined the streets. It looked like a carnival of some sort. It made sense. It must be the first day of summer. He and Roxas had come to this every year before he'd left. The only other year they'd missed it, Roxas had been in the Organization._

_Sora made his way through the crowds, keeping his head down. People glanced at him as he passed, but that wasn't a surprise. He was sure he looked strange in his borrowed Organization uniform._

_He made his way into the Community Hall. There was loud music playing and people were dancing inside. Minors were allowed in until midnight (after that they would start serving alcohol) and it wasn't nearly that so Sora walked in. Here at least, he could ignore everyone and they would ignore him. He shouldn't have to worry about hiding here._

_xXx_

_What Sora didn't know was that half-way across the room, Fuujin, Raijin, and Seifer were sitting in a quieter corner, Raijin and Seifer watching as Fuujin let everything sink in. She'd wanted to come here to try to cope with the knowledge that Roxas had tried to kill himself, but it apparently wasn't going very well._

_Seifer finally couldn't look at her anymore. She was crying and shaking and being very… well... upset. It was unlike Fuujin. It bothered Seifer more than he could say. He wasn't used to his friends being emotional or more emo than he was._

_Seifer started randomly searching the crowd with his eyes, watching people as they interacted with each other. He did that from time to time, trying to learn more about people through his observations. He generally learned a lot from it, but this time he really wasn't that interested – he honestly just wanted a distraction._

_He glanced over the dancers, having no interest in people bumping and grinding into each other. Instead, he turned toward the door, watching the people coming and going._

_After a few minutes, he started. Someone had just entered, head down, a cloak hiding his identity. _

_Seifer jumped up, not even sure what was so familiar about the stranger. For a moment, he thought it was his "Disciplinary Committee" sense kicking in, but almost as soon as he thought it he knew it wasn't. He knew that person, whoever he was. But who was it?_

_He called to Rai and Fuu over the music that he'd be back in a minute. They looked up at him, confused, but didn't argue. They never argued with him. Sometimes he almost wished they would._

_Seifer pushed his way through the crowds, trying not to lose sight of the cloaked figure. He did lose him a couple of times, but the stranger was moving in a pretty straight line so he wasn't hard to locate again._

_Finally, the boy stopped. He was standing in the corner, leaning on a table, watching the crowd much as Seifer had just been doing. _

_Seifer stopped too, far enough away that he could watch the other undetected. He studied him, looking for anything familiar about him. He watched the way he moved, the way he stood, the way he didn't move. Anything Seifer could take note of, he did._

_Then it hit him._

_Seifer shook his head, instantly doubting himself. _"No,"_ he thought. _"No. It wouldn't happen now… not now… It makes no sense!"_ But he couldn't deny the truth, even to himself. And since he was the only one who knew the truth now, it was his responsibility to take care of it._

_Before he'd really made up his mind, Seifer found himself moving forward toward the boy. Without waiting for the other to react, Seifer grabbed his arm and dragged him to the nearest exit and forced him outside, ignoring his struggling. Seifer was much stronger physically so it wasn't really an issue for him._

_Seifer had brought the other boy into a back ally. As soon as the door behind him closed, Seifer tossed him easily onto the ground._

_"Alright chickenwuss. Explain." Seifer's voice was harsh. He stood watching the other picking himself out of the dust, feeling nothing short of contempt at the moment._

_The boy before him got to his feet and started brushing himself off. His hood had fallen off, but he was facing away from Seifer. For a moment, he considered making a break for it, but it was no use. He and Seifer both knew that Seifer knew the truth now._

_"How did you know?" he asked, his voice sounding hollow._

_Seifer scoffed. "The way you and Roxas move is pretty unique. I've fought you both enough times to know."_

_Sora sighed and slowly, painstakingly slowly, turned to face him. _

_Seifer was glaring at him. His hair was framing his eyes, making him look even more ominous. Sora couldn't help but notice that Seifer had only gotten bigger and more muscular since he'd left._

_"Seifer… you and I were always friends before. All of us were friends. We didn't admit it, but I always thought we were. What changed?"_

_Seifer's expression faltered for a second. "What, didn't anyone tell you?"_

_From the way Sora flinched, Seifer knew he had heard. It didn't matter how he'd found out, but Sora knew what had happened to his twin._

_"You screwed up Sora," Seifer said plainly._

_"… I know," Sora muttered._

_"Then _own up_ to it chickenwuss!" Seifer snapped. "Stop running and fix it! When other people's lives are effected by your mistakes, you have to _do_ something about it." _

_Sora stared at him blankly. Since when had Seifer been so honorable?_

_Seifer apparently knew what he was thinking. "Tch. Typical."_

_Sora frowned. "What's typical?"_

_"You don't think I have the right to tell you this."_

_Sora didn't respond. How could he, when Seifer had deciphered him so easily?_

_After a moment, Seifer's face softened a little, as did his tone of voice. "You're right. I probably don't have the right to tell you this. But you weren't here to see how much Roxas changed. I thought he was different when he came back from the Organization but… this was so much worse."_

_Sora was shocked. He hadn't known Seifer knew anything about the Organization. He also hadn't been aware than anyone but himself had been able to see the change in Roxas back then._

_"Don't look so surprised," Seifer said, sounding a little annoyed. "I noticed more than you think. Besides, don't forget I'm friends with Squall."_

_Sora _had_ forgotten. When he looked so young, it was easy to forget that Seifer was a couple of years older than they were._

_"Look Sora… We _are_ friends. That's why I'm telling you to go back. Your brother needs you."_

_Sora looked away then. "But I…" _

_When Seifer next spoke, his voice was very soft. "If I had a family to go back to, nothing would stop me. Don't take them for granted anymore." Seifer turned and started to head back inside. He reached for the door, but before he could open it Sora called out to him._

_"Seifer, wait."_

_Seifer stopped and looked back, listening._

_"How am I gonna face everyone after everything I've done?"_

_Seifer took a deep breath and sighed. Then he turned back and walked forward until he was just in front of Sora. Then he did something the other had never seen him do before. Seifer smiled – not a smirk or a grimace, but a genuine smile. "Like this." Without waiting for a response, Seifer turned and walked away again. He stopped himself as he opened the door. "There's a girl named Fuujin in here. Fuujin Strife. She's your brother's friend. Rai is with her. Find her and she'll take you where you need to go."_

_Sora opened his mouth to say "Thank you," but it was too late. Seifer was already gone._

_xXx_

"After Seifer left, I don't know how long I sat there. Minutes… hours… who knows? I just couldn't get his voice out of my head. All I could do was sit there and think about what he'd said."

"So then what happened?" Leon asked gently. Just from the look on his brother's face, Leon knew this was very difficult for Sora to talk about.

"Eventually I went in and found Fuujin. I don't know if Seifer told her to wait for me or what but… she smiled when she saw me. She got up and led me to you." Sora paused and had to look away from Leon's face. "I was so scared Squall. I was so afraid you would hate me. You or Riku or…"

"Roxas has no reason to hate you."

Both Sora and Leon jumped. They'd both been so caught up in the story that neither of them had noticed Riku come in.

Leon recovered first, but it was Sora who spoke. "What do you mean Riku? Of course he does."

Riku shook his head. "No he doesn't," he insisted. "Roxas knows you better than anyone. He knows you never intended to hurt him."

"But… but I _did_ hurt him," Sora protested, his voice sounding weak even to his own ears.

Riku shrugged. "So? He forgave you. Isn't that enough?" When Sora didn't answer, Riku shrugged again. "Sounds like all you need is to forgive yourself." He turned and headed back the way he'd come.

"How about you try that out, eh?" Leon called after him.

Riku stopped, hands in his pockets. "Forgiveness only comes to people who deserve it." He shook his head and disappeared from sight. A few moments passed before the two in the kitchen heard the front door open, a pause, and then a gentle click as Riku closed the door behind him.

xXx

Shortly after this, Sora went upstairs to visit Roxas for a while. He found his brother lying on his back in bed, a phone in one hand and a slip of paper in the other. The paper had a short stream of numbers on it. Roxas was looking at it intently.

"So," Sora said, smiling as he walked in, "you gonna call whoever's number you have?"

Roxas jumped a little, startled, then smiled up at Sora. He shrugged. "I don't know. I only met her a few times you know." He made a face and twirled his finger next to his own head. "Wasn't all there, you know?"

"So what's her name, hm?" Sora teased.

Roxas couldn't help but blush. "N-Naminé," he stuttered. "S-she volunteers at the… at the hospital…" His voice tapered off.

Sora's smile faltered for a moment, then snapped back into place. "So I take it your thing with Fuu didn't turn out like you planned?"

Roxas frowned slightly. "I never had a thing with Fuu," he protested. "Not really… Besides, I hear there's something with her and Seifer. He's our friend. Wouldn't wanna get in the way or anything, you know?"

A thoughtful look passed over Sora's face. "Yeah… decent guy, Seifer is…" He shook his head and replaced his smile again.

Roxas smiled up at his brother. "You never would've said that before," he remarked quietly. "Maybe this was a good thing for us… you leaving and all…"

Sora looked back at Roxas like he was mad. "How can you say that?" he demanded, completely confused.

Roxas looked down at his bandaged arms and shrugged. "Well I've been thinking about it a lot," he said slowly. "And I've realized a few things." Sora waited in disbelieving silence while Roxas gathered his no doubt ridiculous thoughts together. "Leon… Squall… asked his friends for help," Roxas said finally. "He never would have done that before… And Riku … well… he's grown a lot too. He's gonna quit drinking now for good he told me. He threw out all the alcohol in the house. He told me he's never going to hurt me or anyone else ever again. He said he could never go through this again." Roxas smiled to himself. "And you… well… I think you've come to terms with a few things. And realized you need us as much as we need you."

Sora couldn't deny any of those things. Yet there was one thing he noticed that Roxas hadn't mentioned. Himself. "What about you?" he asked, voicing his thoughts. "You were hurt by everyone. Even Squall. How were you helped by all of this?"

Roxas was silent for a long time, considering. "…I'm not really sure… "

Sora fell silent, his guilt pressing down on him that much more.

He felt Roxas' hand on his shoulder. "I told you I don't blame you," he heard his brother say quietly. "And I'm not angry or upset or anything like that…"

Before Roxas could go on consoling him, Sora interrupted. He spun around, knocking Roxas' hand from its place. "_You_ might not be angry, but _I_ am!"

Roxas was taken aback. "At who?"

Sora seemed to almost deflate. He looked away, unable to look Roxas in the eyes. "…At me," he admitted.

Roxas' face fell. "But why? You didn't do anything wrong…"

Sora shook his head. "That's where you're wrong." He turned back and with one hand very carefully lifted Roxas' arm, the bandages still wound tightly around his wrists. "I did this," he said. "And nothing you say will change that. Even if you don't blame me, I'm still at fault."

Roxas turned his face away from his own self-inflicted injury. "I know I did it because of you," he muttered. "But in the end, it was still my choice. I did this. Not you. So why can't you forgive yourself?"

"Because I almost lost you Roxas. I almost lost you and I didn't even know it."

"You never lost me Sora. You never could have. No more than you lost Kairi."

"What do you-?"

"Do you really think people leave us when they die?" Roxas interrupted. Then he answered his own question. "Of course not. Kairi didn't leave us any more than dad left us. They moved on, but they never left." He shook his head. "Even if I had died, our connection can't be broken. Not even by the largest separation. We're closer than that. We're _better_ than that. Can't you see that?"

For once in his life, Sora had absolutely nothing to say.


	24. The End, part 1 of 2

Author's Note:

I logged on today just because and decided to check my stats. I was looking at a different story but this one's caught my eye instead.

TEN THOUSAND HITS! OMG. (technically 10,005, but whatever!)

Seriously? THANK YOU.

I was having a pretty terrible day yesterday, and that totally makes up for it.

I'm glad I'm such a dork that that makes up for bitchy room mates. Haha.

So yeah. I wasn't gonna write this until tomorrow at the earliest because I _still_ don't know how to wrap this all up, but who cares? I'm gonna write it now anyway, just for you guys.

Thanks so much for reading!!

3 Eevil Hero

xXx

Axel was sitting on the couch in his new apartment in Twilight Town. Roxas was stretched out beside him, his back resting on Axel's side. Roxas' arms were folded across his chest, his eyes unfocused. Axel had one arm on the back of the couch above Roxas' head, the other absent-mindedly picking at the lint on the arm of the couch. Neither of them had spoken for over an hour now. Axel was determined not to be the one to break the silence.

Another half an hour passed before either of them moved or spoke.

"Hey… Axel…" Roxas said at last. His voice was very soft, hardly audible even in the completely silent room.

"Hm?" Axel murmured in reply.

"You told me once that all memories are important. That none should be allowed to be forgotten. Do you remember that?"

"Mm," he said. Of course he remembered that. How could he ever forget?

"Do you still believe it?"

Axel thought he knew what this was about. "Are you talking about Kairi?" he asked gently. He took Roxas' silence for a _yes_. He sighed. "Roxas… I don't think I really have to right to say."

Roxas again said nothing, only pressed himself more deeply into the cushions.

"I think… maybe… Kairi is perhaps a memory that would be best forgotten." Before Roxas could protest, Axel interrupted. "I'll tell you why. Just give me a second to think how to explain it."

Roxas waited.

Finally, Axel sighed. "I don't mean you should forget Kairi ever existed. That's not right. Her memory deserves to be honored. But…" He cast about for the right words. "Sora is so caught up _in_ that memory that he stopped living. Things don't seem to have changed much since he got back. Am I wrong?" No response. "I thought not." Axel sighed. "Look, Rox. I understand where you're coming from – I do. So let me say just one more thing. Kairi loved both of you and both of you loved her. Just because she's dead doesn't mean those feelings are gone. But you can't let them take over you or control you. If you do, you stop living too."

"So… you're not telling me to forget her…?"

"No. I guess I'm not."

"So you still believe it then? That no memories should ever be forgotten?"

Axel smirked just a little, a shadow of the real thing. "Yeah. I still believe it."

"…Thanks."

xXx

Squall answered the knock at the door, his book still in his hand. There were dark circles under his eyes but he looked pretty content otherwise. He opened the door to find a nervous-looking Fuu.

"Hey Little Strife," Squall greeted her, smiling. "What can I do for you?"

"Are Roxas and Sora here?" she asked. She looked a little nervous.

Squall waved her in and shut the door behind her. "Sora's not but Roxas is." He tried not to let on how nervous he felt about Sora go out alone. He was still afraid he'd run off again, but he tried not to let that show. "He's in the back with a friend." He started to lead the way. "So how have you been?"

Fuu shrugged, though Squall couldn't see it because his back was turned. "Alright I guess. You?"

"Alright."

"You look tired," she noted. "Catching up on school work?"

"No," he said, sounding as surprised as he still felt. "The Academy actually let me graduate. I'm studying some new material so I can become an instructor for a while, to make up for the time I missed."

"Wow." She sounded impressed. "So are you going back to Garden?"

He shook his head. "No. I'll be working in a local school. Aerith is working there too, but I think you knew that. Yuffie and Cloud are gonna help me teach."

"What do the three of you teach?" she asked, sounding confused and a little skeptical.

He chuckled. "Combat. It's the only thing Cloud and I have in common with Yuffie." He stopped and opened the back door for her. "Here you go. They're outside. Stay as long as you like."

"Thanks." She smiled at him and walked out. She heard him close the door behind her. She breathed the warm afternoon air in deeply, then looked around. It didn't take long to find Roxas and his friend.

There was a large tree near the back of the yard. Roxas was lying beneath it and he was still. The blonde girl at his side had something in her lap – a book or something – but Fuu couldn't tell what it was from this distance.

Fuu took another deep breath, then walked out and over to them. The girl didn't look up until Fuu was almost right behind her.

"Oh hello," she said pleasantly. Her blonde hair shone brightly in the sunlight. Her white sundress made her bright blue eyes stand out very clearly. Her white sandals lay beside her and her bare feet were folded neatly beneath her. She held a sketchbook in her lap a half-finished sketch on her current page. There were smudges on her hand around the pencil she held in her fingers. "My name's Naminé Ryoka."

"Fuujin Strife," Fuu said, offering an attempt at a smile. She looked down at Roxas and realized he was asleep. She felt apprehensive about speaking with this stranger, but decided she might as well try. "He's sleeping?" she asked, though she already knew the answer.

"Mm," Naminé replied, smiling down at him. "He's been asleep almost an hour."

"What have you been doing this whole time?" Fuu asked, her voice a mixture of confusion and curiosity.

Naminé lifted her sketchbook and turned it so Fuu could see. On it was a light sketch of Roxas sleeping in the grass. It looked just like him – it captured perfectly how beautiful he was when he slept.

"Fuujin-" Naminé began, but Fuu cut her off.

"Just Fuu, actually."

Naminé smiled. "Fuu, then. Do you want me to wake him up?"

Fuujin deliberated. "That's alright," she said at last. "He looks like he could use some sleep."

Naminé smiled. "You're right, he probably could."

Fuujin hesitated, then settled herself on the grass beside Naminé. "So how do you know him?"

"Hm?" She tore her eyes away from Roxas' face and looked instead to Fuujin's. "Oh. I work at the hospital sometimes. I was one of the assistant nurses tending him."

"Oh." Fuu honestly didn't know what to say to that.

"Is something wrong?" Concern flickered over Naminé's face.

Fuu quickly shook her head. "No, of course not. It's nothing. It's just…" She broke off, her eyes turning to Roxas too. "I didn't expect that he would… well… have someone like you so soon."

Naminé's smile faded. "Was there something between you?"

"No," Fuu said instantly. "Yes… maybe… I don't know." She shook her head. "I thought I liked him for a while. W-well, I _did_ like him for a while. And I still do I guess. But… I don't know. Something about him draws me to him, but I can't make heads or tails of him."

Naminé looked sad. "I hope I didn't come between you two." From the way she said it, it sounded like that would be the worst thing in the world for her.

Fuu shook her head sadly. "No. It's nothing like that. I just… I don't know. Part of me really wishes it had worked out." She sighed and then shrugged. "It's alright though. I'm kind of…" She deliberated, not really wanting to say it.

"Interested in someone else?" Naminé supplied.

Fuu blushed and tried to cover it up. "W-well…" She sighed heavily. "Yeah I am. His name is Seifer, do you know him?"

Naminé nodded. "I've seen him around. He seems like a good person."

Fuujin smiled. "Yeah, he is."

Naminé looked uncertain despite the fact that she was smiling. "So there's nothing wrong with us? You're not upset with me?"

Fuujin smiled at Naminé then. "No. Of course not. He's all yours."

Naminé couldn't help but blush.

xXx

Sora was wandering aimlessly through town. People greeted him at random, beaming at him, evidently glad to see him. He knew this had been a normal occurrence before he'd left, but it still felt weird to have people acknowledging his presence.

He found himself walking toward the docks and stopped. Then he smiled and walked up to the wall. "Hey," he said.

"Hey," Riku was sitting up on the wall, one leg dangling on the far side, the other bent, his foot resting on the wall. One arm was resting on his knee, the other on the wall, keeping him balanced. "Out for a walk?" he asked, his eyes fixated on the waves.

Sora leaned against the wall, watching the waves too. "Yeah. You?"

"Something like that. Kinda wanted to clear my head."

"Want me to leave?" Sora asked.

He shook his head. "Nah. It's fine. Come on up."

Sora hopped up onto the wall and sat beside his older brother. "You okay?" he asked, unable to resist the question.

"Mm… I don't know." He thought for a moment. "Yes and no."

"What do you mean?"

Riku sighed and changed the subject. "Do you ever miss dad?"

Sora shrugged. "Sometimes. I don't really remember him."

Riku nodded. "Me either. I wish I could though."

"Why?" For some reason, the sentiment seemed strange to Sora.

"Because… sometimes I think, maybe if we'd had a father… none of this would have happened."

"What do you mean?"

Riku sighed heavily. "Well… maybe Le-… Squall, I mean, wouldn't have been such a stick in the mud. Maybe he and I could have been better friends. Maybe I wouldn't have turned into a drunken loser and beat up Roxas. Hell, maybe you wouldn't have run away. Who knows?"

Sora frowned slightly. "But Riku, having a father doesn't automatically fix everything."

"Yeah I know. But it sure makes a hell of a big difference."

"Do you still blame yourself for what happened?" Sora asked.

Riku looked around at him. "Do you?" he shot back, though his voice wasn't harsh.

"…Kinda," Sora admitted. "I shouldn't have been so stupid and sensitive, you know?"

"Mm. Somewhat. But at least you felt something."

Sora looked surprised and sounded more than a little confused. "What do you mean?"

"I mean… The whole time you were gone, whenever I'd get drunk and really beat the crap out of Roxas-" Sora winced at this- "I wouldn't ever really _feel_ anything. The morning after, sure. But not when it was happening."

"But you were drunk," Sora pointed out, not sure where Riku was going with this.

"Yeah I know." He sounded ironic. "But they say that when you're drunk, you let down all your shields or whatever. Your real self shows through, the self you never wanted anyone else to see."

"Is that what's been bothering you?" Sora asked, his heart sinking. "You think you're really a heartless bastard?"

Riku shrugged and didn't answer, but his thoughts were evident on his face.

"Well you're not," Sora said firmly.

"How can you know that?" Riku asked, sounding resigned.

"Because I just know." When Riku still didn't seem convinced, Sora continued. "Remember when we were little and I got beat up by that bully at school? You told me I was a sissy for not standing up for myself, but the same day you starting teaching me how to fight back so I wouldn't get hurt anymore."

"Well yeah but-"

"And when Mom got sick a few years ago? Squall was busy with school and Roxas and I were still pretty little, so you took over the house. You cooked and cleaned and made us lunches and got us up on time and everything. You took care of mom and still managed to keep your grades up."

"I know, but-"

"And," Sora went on, cutting him off again, "Whenever I had nightmare when I was little whenever Roxas wasn't there, you came in my room and slept with me so I'd feel better."

Riku frowned. "That only happened maybe _twice_."

"But it still happened," Sora said firmly. "Those things and a million others. You're a _good_ brother, Riku. You've just forgotten that."

Riku seemed taken aback. "You think I'm a good older brother?"

"Of course I do!" Sora said. "I always have. We love you Riku, me Roxas _and_ Squall. And I really hate that you've forgotten that. You're letting a few mistakes ruin your whole lifetime of memories."

"But they were such bad mistakes…" he said quietly, looking away again.

"I know. But it doesn't matter now. It's like… we lost you for a little while. And now we've got you back."

"So that's it?" Riku asked, a little disbelievingly. "You're just gonna forgive and forget? Just like that?"

"Yep," Sora said, grinning. "Just like that. It's what family is for, right?"

Riku just barely smiled. "Yeah. Or something like that."

The two of them stayed there for a long time, not moving til long after the sun started to set.


	25. The End, part 2 of 2

xXx

Sora and Roxas stood side by side, staring at the same spot on the ground. Roxas had a bouquet of flowers held loosely in one hand. Both of Sora's hands were in his pockets, though one was holding something very tightly.

"So," Roxas said, breaking the silence, "this is where you decided?"

"Mm." He could feel Roxas lifting his gaze to his face, but Sora's eyes didn't leave the ground. "This is where it all started, really."

Roxas studied Sora's expression for a few moments longer, then returned his stare to the ground as well. "How long's it been since you've been here?"

"Last time I was here, so were you. So was everyone."

"Mm… I thought maybe you came before you came back or something. I guess it's been a while since she had visitors."

"You think she was lonely?" Sora asked, his voice somewhere between sincerity and sarcasm.

"Who, Kairi? Never." Roxas smiled slightly.

Silence fell between them. Sora wanted very much to ask something, but was hesitant to do so. Roxas knew that and waited.

"Roxas?" Sora finally asked.

"Hm."

"You believe in an after life, right?"

"…Yeah."

"So… do you think…"

Roxas swallowed, thinking how best to phrase his response. Sora could see the muscles in his jaw moving as he thought it over.

"Sora," he said at last, "it doesn't matter what I think. It matters what you think. Even if I told you what I consider to be true, it shouldn't effect the way you feel at all."

Sora took this in in silence.

"Do I believe in the next life? Yes, I do. Do I believe Kairi's left us for good? No. I never have, not even for a moment. _I_ think she's here right now, standing with us, watching over us. She'll never really leave us, and I know that. She loves us and wants us to be alright, so she does her best to ensure that." He paused for a moment. "But none of that should matter to you, you know? Not unless you really and truly believe that yourself. I can't tell you what to believe, Sora. You have to decide that for yourself."

Sora was silent for a long time, considering Roxas' words. Finally, he said, "I think… that she's in a good place. And that… she's happy, you know?" He could feel the tears in his eyes, hear them in his voice but chose to ignore them. Roxas would understand, so there was no need to hide it. "And I…" He had to stop and try to control his emotions a little before he could speak again. "I think she forgives me." He smiled despite the tears now running down his face. "I really think she does."

Roxas smiled, a different sort of smile than Sora's, though they looked identical. "Yeah I know." He bent down and placed the flowers gently on Kairi's grave. "There was never anything to forgive."

He rose and stood back, letting Sora move forward now.

Sora pulled the object out of his pocket and slowly uncurled his fingers, his eyes locked on the star resting in his palm.

"What is it?" Roxas asked, for he'd never seen the object before.

"Kairi's lucky charm," Sora said, his voice threatening to crack. "I… I promised I'd bring it back to her." He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. After a moment, he opened them again and laid the charm down beside Roxas' flowers. "And now I have."

"I think she wants you to keep living Sora," Roxas said gently. "And not give up because she died."

"Yeah," Sora agreed. "I think so too."

Roxas put a comforting hand on Sora's shoulder and turned the two of them turned away, starting back the way they had come. "Come on Sora. Let's go home."

"Yeah… Home. I like the sound of that."

xXx

The End.

Thanks for reading. I hope you liked it.

3

Eevil Hero


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